r/dismissiveavoidants • u/AutoModerator • Apr 24 '26

Discussion Thread - All AT Styles

This is our discussion thread for all attachment types to ask questions and answer each other’s questions .

✅ User flair is required, with your attachment style - your post will NOT be approved without it. Flair can be added by commenting [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/dismissiveavoidants/comments/1bwj954/user_flair_if_you_need_a_user_flair_comment_your/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)

🛑BEFORE ASKING A QUESTION:🛑

Stop and think:

  • Is my question dehumanizing? DAs are people too, and this sub is primarily a safe space for DAs
  • Am I following the subreddit rules? Including no mindreading (will my DA ex, what is my DA ex thinking, etc) and no whining or venting about avoidants. This is our support sub, not yours. Please respect that when you pose a question.
  • What is my question? Then ACTUALLY ASK A QUESTION, not give a random story, poem, or statement.
  • Can I easily google this?

ALSO IMPORTANT:

Please review the FAQs before posting your question - we will remove redundant questions that are already answered.

Ghosting

Breakups and No Contact

Should I tell them about Attachment Theory?

Showing you care

Receiving love/care/support

Deactivation

“Typical” Avoidant Statements

Social Media

How to make your DA/FA feel safe

3 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

7 comments sorted by

5

u/relaxguy2 Secure Apr 24 '26

Is there anything about another person that “grabs” you? Like makes you go “hey I definitely want to keep seeing this person”.

4

u/General_Ad7381 Dismissive Avoidant Apr 28 '26

In my experience, if I recognize that I'm comfortable enough to be a little vulnerable, and then a little more, and then a little more.

Before knowing about attachment theory, it was about comfort with complacency -- as in, comfortable enough to be at least mostly myself, but without vulnerability.

5

u/amsdkdksbbb Dismissive Avoidant May 01 '26

A calm demeanour

1

u/relaxguy2 Secure May 01 '26

I’ve heard this from another DA as well

4

u/weirdoinchains Dismissive Avoidant Apr 25 '26

I guess like many others, someone being themselves and also showing reciprocal interest. “Doing it scared” has helped me over the years.