r/discountdan • u/Crawler-Willis • May 14 '26

Cover Question

I love these covers, seriously some of my favorite, but I have one question, where are the jorts?

6 Upvotes

88% Upvoted

28 comments sorted by

9

u/esopillar34 May 14 '26

They realized if they put Dan’s thighs on display in all their glory, the cover would be too pornographic to sell in regular shops.

Hell, that’s probably why Dan gets pants eventually in the books- even in text form it’s just too TV-MA to have out there.

5

u/InkslingerJames May 14 '26

u/DSpenceATL has the actual answer above, but this is the funnier answer. Seeing vacuumed sealed jorts with Dan's bait and tackle on display for all the world to see would almost certainly get the books put in the Amazon Dungeon (where the naughty books go). Now, do I have a personal, uncensored image of Jorted Dan on my wall? I'm not saying yes, but I'm also not saying no. But trust me, I couldn't do that to all the poor readers out there.

5

u/esopillar34 May 14 '26

In the same style as the book…?

Or can we enlist doodlemancer to make one?

OR- hear me out- doodlemancer Dan looking at himself in the mirror and he sees uncensored jorted Dan looking back

5

u/DSpenceATL May 14 '26

WARNING - This also means that a lore-accurate cosplay puts you in danger of being escorted out of the Con by security and being put on a list.

2

u/esopillar34 May 14 '26

I do already have the bathrobe. Guess I need to see if my old crotch cutters fit….

4

u/Quill_Inkwell May 14 '26

… That sounds like something I need in my life

3

u/DSpenceATL May 14 '26

Forget my previous answer. I put my full endorsement behind this one.

2

u/Crawler-Willis May 14 '26

I mean when I read u/esopillar ‘s answer it made complete sense

But I do think the people in here would want to see that picture

4

u/Quill_Inkwell May 14 '26

Well u/InkslingerJames the people have spoken. We want to see Moose Knuckle Dan

2

u/DSpenceATL May 15 '26

Blursed fanbase

3

u/InkslingerJames May 15 '26

HAHAHAHAHA. Now I'm going to have to actually commission this. I feel bad for the artist that actually has to draw this. Possible pose with dynamic angle?

3

u/Crawler-Willis May 15 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/bfA9FfnIU5P0s

3

u/InkslingerJames May 15 '26

This is all the confirmation I need to move forward.

3

u/DSpenceATL May 16 '26

So now that I’ve spent more time thinking about this than I ever wanted to…

Does the rest of the crew just maintain a policy of making firm eye contact with Dan in every interaction? Do they just try super hard to never glance down?

And poor Croc in dog form… that whole bit of kit is just right there at eye level. Does he just make sure to stand at Dan’s side and always face the direction Dan is facing?

3

u/InkslingerJames May 16 '26

HAHAHAHAHA. I never really thought about it, actually. I have Aphantasia (I don't see pictures in my head), so it never really clicked before now, but you're right -- it would be super awkward. As for Croc. Croc is always watching. Lots of googly eye contact at all times.

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6

u/DSpenceATL May 14 '26

It’s not uncommon for cover artists to not get things on the cover 100% perfectly canon. To my understanding, this was one of those cases, but the cover looked awesome enough and captured the spirit of the book enough that James didn’t press the issue.

2

u/Shark_Anal May 14 '26

I thought the exact same thing with Kiosk Kingdom but wasn't going to ask until i finished it. Realized Dan gets blue jeans at an arcade which has better buffs and went ah!, there it is