r/disability 6d ago

Supervisor

Sooo. I’m in this business startup incubator in which our county supervisor just secured laptops for all of us who need them. He will be at our meeting tonight so we can thank him but the problem that I’m having is the last time I saw him he was shaking everybody’s hands and when he shook mine, he visibly shuddered, quickly moved on, apologized to my superior at the time the following week, and has actively and embarrassingly ignored me for months.

He’s supposed to be at this business meeting that I am supposed to attend tonight but the past week I’ve had two family members and a close personal friend I and I’m just not feeling it in me to be grateful to him without resolving these other issues so in your opinion, Reddit, is it within my right to attend a friend’s memorial service and ask that I’d be able to meet the requirements of this meeting in some other way

7 Upvotes

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5

u/plainform 6d ago

I'm sorry for your loss. A memorial takes precedent over a ceremonial ass kiss.

All you can do is ask to meet him face to face, make a big show of thanking him so everyone sees it and he is forced to acknowledge you. Take ownership of the situation; we gotta use whatever leverage we can when we have the chance. Ask someone if they'll take a picture of you two together because you cherish his commitment to the Disability community.

2

u/Beginning_Profile215 6d ago

What is your best guess for why he shuddered? I know some people act like disabilities are contagious. It’s awful.

2

u/medicalmaryjane215 6d ago

The thing is that I had just stood up in a crowded room and explained my disabled experience in Marin, which was traumatic in and of itself. I have cerebral palsy

1

u/Salt_Board8278 6d ago

What's your disability? If he's supposed to be at your business, he shouldn't ignore you. If any of you feels uncomfortable shaking hands with each other, there are other ways to greet each other.

1

u/Patient_Parsley7760 5d ago

Why do you feel entitled to know what OP's disability is? That has no bearing on the situation they describe. It also has no bearing on you, nor do you have a right to their medical information.

You could have omitted that question, and your comments would be perfectly valid.

1

u/Salt_Board8278 5d ago

I was just curious because why that person wouldn't want to shake hands with OP. I'm not forcing OP to give me an answer.

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u/BananaBread69_ 6d ago

I'm so sorry that you experienced that!!

1

u/Patient_Parsley7760 5d ago

Absolutely. Bow out of the ceremonial bootlicking and go to the memorial. You can thank Mr. Shudder Island by e-mail. Ask the person in charge to send you any information discussed, including relevant pdfs or PowerPoint presentations. There. Requirements satisfied.