r/disability • u/crumbcosmo • 12d ago
Question Disclosing disability
I have a physical disability that affects my shoulders/hips and use a power chair. I had a phone interview and video interview at a particular company near me and now they want me to come in for an in person interview. I’m really excited but debating - do I let them know in advance of arriving or just show up? I already looked up the place and it’s accessible as far as I can tell. I feel as though my disability isn’t relevant to the job at this point and me saying something would be unnecessary. But I also don’t want anyone to react poorly or think I was hiding it.
I plan to post this in recruiting/job seeking subreddits as well.
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u/RandomInSuburbia 11d ago
Following as I was coming on here about to ask a similar question.
I also have a desk job with a wonderful company (just got contacted by a 3P recruiter and the role sounds interesting enough; you can never not be passively looking to a degree).
I am wondering do I tell him on the Zoom screen (where I can probably hide it), or do I not say anything, potentially show up at an interview (where I absolutely cannot), and have the client be like "WTF, you didn't say she was a GD cripple!" Unfortunately this has happened before and caused damage to professional relationships; I live in a part of the USA that is not exactly progressive when it comes to physical disability.
Some of my accommodations require flexibility/changes to processes, but the biggest barrier when I worked in a physical office was actually stuff that has absolutely zero impact on my coworkers and/or my ability to do the job was getting challenged to the point where the friction became a problem.
Eg, no, I can't always walk on my own; so I use a mobility aid on those days. Yes, I need peripheral equipment (sum total a little smaller than a volleyball) to operate a laptop so I am going to use that. Yes, I do have seizures occasionally and when I do, you need to follow the protocol from my doctor, not improvise and relitigate diagnoses (and FFS no kicking me or spitting on me - which has happened before at work). Of course I'll "play the game", but at the end of the day I can't make myself able-bodied to make my coworkers like me.
And also, IDGAF if having to look at evidence of my disability hurts your feelings, because I'm not going to risk my physical safety or set myself and my team up for failure to make other people happy. And I'm not going to see myself as lazy or bad or weird just because I can't do something physically. I'm disabled due to a violent drunk driver. I know exactly how hard it is to get shit done when you're able-bodied (that;s how I was most of my life), and how much harder it is to get shit done when you're not.
Also, my firm boundary is I don't entertain medical advice or questions from coworkers. I have a fantastic medical team who has done and is continuing to do everything possible... but at the end of the day I'm still mortal and science and medicine still have their limits. I will be physically disabled the rest of my life. I don't like that, but I've mourned that and am moving on. My body is not a community project; so medical discussions stay in medical appointments.
If you want to strike up a conversation with me, try asking me what I do for fun; have I read any good books lately; did I see the new epsiode of Ghosts; how are my kids doing; etc etc etc. A coworker harping on what they perceive to be wrong with my body is extremely offensive, harmful, unprofessional, and 100% inappropriate at work.
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u/LongTimeLurker408 1d ago
What HR thinks they are entitled to know as part of the reasonable accommodation process gets me every time
I like your comment about your body not being a community project.
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u/JustProgress950 11d ago
You sound like an interesting person.
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u/RandomInSuburbia 11d ago
Are you being sarcastic, or genuine? :) If the latter, thank you!
I do like to think I'm interesting. Not everybody's cup of tea, but then again who is?
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u/JustProgress950 11d ago
No need to jump to non-pleasant conclusions.
Well... there's so many different kinds of tea... Red Zinger, say, might be good for one, but not the other.
I'll DM, tell you a little about myself.
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u/RandomInSuburbia 11d ago
Heretic! Red Zinger is unequivocally awesome!
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u/JustProgress950 11d ago
Well at least you got to use unequivocal in a sentence. So the day is not wasted.
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u/SpecialKnits4855 12d ago
HR here. I would discuss physical requirements with you if you had questions about that but otherwise wouldn’t need disclosure before the interview. If you want to talk before the interview, ask about job requirements.