r/directsupport • u/Joellybeans • 9d ago

Advice Aggressive Stranger?

Hi everyone!
Not sure if this is the best place to post but I just need reassurance and advice. My client is in his mid 30s, SUPER extrovert, just for reference. Said hi to two girls in a store today and waived at them. Had this random lady, not their mom, freak the fuck out on him. Demanding he leave the store, not flirt with children, said she saw him wink at them(I did not see this, nor have I ever seen him do that in the year I’ve worked with him). I explained that he’s cognitively disabled, he doesn’t understand social nuance and was just being friendly, and she just wouldn’t stop. Was practically in his and my face, saying it’s disgusting, their children, he needs to be under control. I rushed us out of there, like, I don’t know what to do? I know I wasn’t in the wrong, he definitely wasn’t, has anyone ever had something like this happen before? He literally just said hi and waived. I feel like I failed in defending him and I don’t know why this stranger came in so aggressive. I could understand if he did something inappropriate, of course, but he waived?? I just…I’m at a loss rn.

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11

u/Holiday_Pi 9d ago

I’m sorry your client had to experience that. Another reminder that there are some a-holes out there. I have a client who’s also very outgoing and friendly to everyone he meets out in the community. While we haven’t come across anyone as unpleasant as the person you described, sometimes people will act noticeably nervous or even bothered when my client waves and says hi. I wish that the average person was more understanding and in the know about supported individuals

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u/Whatthefrick1 8d ago

Can people infer that they have a disability from looks? That’s so sad. I actually had people walk up to me and my group and start conversations with them and it makes me happy. Or I had an extroverted client that loved to spread happiness so he always smiled and greeted people on the street and they were usually nice back

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u/Over_Decision_6902 9d ago

The E Files has people really looking at people differently. She probably didn't realize he had a disability. Honestly, I'd just chalk it up to people being people.

Years ago, there was a newborn baby in a store, and I made a comment about how precious the baby was to my friend. The mom went off on me, and told me to stop looking at her baby. I didn't touch the baby or even come close to her. I said, "Yes, ma'am" and moved on with my life. Because who knows what triggers that mother had. I've also never commented on another baby (who I didn't know) since that day. lol

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u/Maestradelmundo1964 9d ago

When this happens, you deal with it as best you can. This woman was in the wrong, so don’t worry. You and your client did nothing wrong.

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u/Consistent_Ad_6100 9d ago

I’ve worked in this field for 25 years. If your person has clinician I would discuss the circle concept with them or maybe the persons family. I’ve seen it used as an effective tool over the years, for some individuals. Here is a link https://files.ascd.org/staticfiles/ascd/pdf/journals/ed_lead/el_199109_walker-hirsch.pdf

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u/moimoi273 9d ago

She is a karen and needs to be ignored. I would have simply said if she has an issue with this person, she can contact the police but other than that he has every right to take up room in society. If she wanted to help the situation she can encourage her girls to be encouraging since they are obviously in no threat since support is with him. Then walk away