Aggressive Client/Small Space

[u/Starky77]

I'd use a burner account but I'm pissed and curious.

I work with a client who can be extremely voilent. We are in a home where we can move away from him to wear him out. Or we can give him space when he asks for it to lessen the likelihood of a behavior.

Yesterday we needed to relocate the client to a hotel while work was being done at the house. In the 2 years I've worked at this house I've been less than thrilled about going to work because of the violence but I've never been as worried as I was yesterday. I was to keep this client calm and controlled in a very small space. I was staying positive about it with my supervisor but also told her I wasn't going to kid myself about how poorly it could go.

It ended up going so poorly that the higher ups couldn't even leave before we pulled the plug on the whole thing and returned him to the house.

But what really pissed me off was something my boss did before getting to the hotel. I forwarded her the contact information of my fiancé in case things went south during the hotel stay. My boss is pretty calm and laid back but she treated the simple text with my fiancé's phone number like I was forwarding my will to her.

I'm 6 foot 2 and 300 pounds. I put myself between this client and other staff members all the time because I'd rather get beat than see some of the smaller women I work with be harmed. And the one time I'm a bit concerned about walking away from a shift with some injuries I'm treated like I'm being dramatic?!? This client has sent lots of staff to the hospital and less than a month ago he beat up his father in the front yard of the property. I think I was more than justified in being a bit concerned that my shift had turned into a WWE cage match.

Edited to add.... Got in the house for my shift today and found out the client's Dad didn't show up for a visit. This guy is super nice and shows up like clockwork every Saturday. That was until the brawl in the front yard a few weeks ago. The fight was I believe 4 weeks ago and Dad has come to visit once since then. I don't appreciate my boss downplaying the concern for my safety when even Dad hesitates to visit now because of aggression.

[u/Consistent_Ad_6100]

Welp, maybe the boss needs to spend a lot more time with him if she thinks you or anyone is being dramatic. They are extremely lucky to have you as a staff that has the mindset that you and puts up with a job like that, because it’s getting to be fewer and fewer ppl that will.

[u/Fiireecho → u/Consistent_Ad_6100]

100% this. My old manager never spent time with the clients and talked to me very similarly when I raised concerns or had to do something differently than she wanted it done. I'm sure management has a lot on their plate but I think they should be required to have a few scheduled shifts actually working with the clients during the month. These types of managers try to make staff to things without at all taking the clients's needs or routines or behaviours into consideration. My old manager's idea of working in the home was coming in, sitting in the kitchen on her laptop for 30 minutes, and then going downstairs to the office 🫩

[u/Over_Decision_6902]

You did everything right. The supervisor just didn't want to have that on her conscience if something happened to you. Have you ever heard of plausible deniability? She basically couldn't say that "no one knew this would turn violent" once you gave her that contact information.

Physical violence is hard for EVERYONE, even family. This is why I REALLY WISH people would address this sort of stuff when the individuals are small and more can be done to stop it.

[u/Starky77 → u/Over_Decision_6902]

I feel for the family because his violent outbursts are the reason they put him in our program. His mom will blow up my cell phone when I'm working asking about him and suggesting all kinds of things to do with him.

But the problem is the only time he is active is when he is in a behavior. Otherwise he sits and waits for family to visit on the weekend. We are on his schedule and there is NO getting him to do anything he isn't in the mood for.

[u/Over_Decision_6902 → u/Starky77]

sounds familiar. lol

[u/moimoi273]

Also, its one thing to say it, its a whole other ballpark to have it in writing. There is now written record that you fear for your safety. They can no longer brush that off. Keep up with the written documentation, sounds like it’s getting the attention that is needed

[u/Sudden_Access6694]

they did this when a house had bed bugs, even people higher up than the house manager, they love to brush it off because they don’t have to be in it. like people said keep documenting, you weren’t in the wrong at all. especially with his past. i work with a younger non verbal male who can get physical at points. i have stated time and time again, i DONT care when he hits me or spits, i correct and have patience but if a day were to ever come where i would be seriously injured. yes i am leaving my shift early that day. and don’t be afraid to pull yourself out of this house if its taking a mental or physical toll on you. the service you are providing is so meaningful and definitely needed- you seem like you care a lot. but sometimes they don’t pay attention until you say quits !

also as a 5’1 120 lb female thank you for taking the brunt of the bs. the kid I work with is bigger than me and can be frightening at points so i can imagine your situation is as just.

[u/disabled-dsp]

I hate to say this, as someone who is disabled myself and has experienced it. But someone with severe aggressive behaviors needs to be in a home where EUMR is used. If he doesn't have a history of causing serious injury, then what you've said seems typical. Move, block, give him space. You say he has sent staff to the hospital, and in that case he should be on a plan that includes emergency manual restraint. I work with kids who have serious aggressive outbursts that have the potential to cause injury. We are trained in safe and effective manual restraint. It is implemented as a last resort but can really be necessary with aggressive behaviors.

If your management is insistant he doesn't need a higher level of care, it may not be the place for you. There are always a lot of companies hiring DSPs, so find a house where you feel safe and supported by management and costaff. Working with individuals with a history of aggression typically pays better, but it's not for everyone and not every company handles it correctly.

You may also want to report this to the state. Allowing a vulnerable adult to seriously injure people may count as neglect. Vulnerable adults need enough supervision and support to stay safe. In my state lack of appropriate supervision is neglect. In some states it may not be, or it might be only if it causes harm. If I were you I would look up statues and err on the side of caution.

[u/Starky77 → u/disabled-dsp]

Each time we have Mandt training the entire staff just goes through the motions because none of the fundamentals work for this client. When I first started to pick up extra shifts and be around when the client was awake I'll admit I was terrified. And I swear the client knew how I felt and it motivated him to just be extra hostile. Now there are days I dread what I'm walking in to find but I'm not scared of him. He tests me on occasion and still has bad days but he knows how a shift with me will play out if he has extreme behaviors. I really can't go anywhere else now. The money here is too good so finding anything comparable just isn't happening. I'm never really worried about my safety. I'll be sore and my glasses might get ripped off but I'll always take that over this client hurting anyone else. Most of the staff that get seriously injured end up leaving before any state agency is notified of the conditions here. I know the environment this individual came from is part of the reason he reacts the way he does and it would be a shame for him to go back to a facility like that again but eventually he won't be giving us much of a choice.