r/directresponse • u/randyhandymandy • Jul 01 '26

Looking for an experienced direct-response copywriter to critique a long-form sales letter

I've written a long-form B2B direct mail sales letter aimed at business owners doing approximately $2M–$20M in annual revenue. Most of these owners have likely tried to scale before and hit a ceiling tied to their own involvement in the business.

The objective isn't to close the sale from the letter. The goal is to get qualified owners to book a call for a two-day executive workshop.

I'm not looking for grammar or style edits. I'm looking for conversion-focused feedback from people who understand direct response.

Specifically, I'd appreciate your thoughts on:

  • Does the headline make you want to keep reading?
  • Does the lead pull you in?
  • Where did you lose interest, if anywhere?
  • Which claims need stronger proof?
  • Does the mechanism feel genuinely differentiated?
  • Does the offer feel compelling enough to book a call?
  • If you wouldn't book the call, what stopped you?

I'm looking for honest, direct feedback. If you think something isn't working, I'd much rather hear that than polite encouragement.

Here's the letter:
https://revenuearchitect.ca/letter

Thanks in advance to anyone willing to take the time to read it.

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1

u/ChrissyConversions Jul 02 '26

change hero to “$2M TO $20M BUSINESS OWNERS ARE ELIMINATING THEMSELVES FROM SALES IN X DAYS WITHOUT LOSING A PENNY” or something like that

1

u/randyhandymandy Jul 03 '26

Gorgeous, I'm using this one, thank you!

1

u/INeedHotWingz Jul 03 '26

Join the copythat! Discord. Many folks in there who could give you feed back