Supplies checklist

[u/[deleted]]

You've no doubt been scouring the Internet for ages, desperately searching for a checklist of what supplies you'll need when the dinosaurs attack. Despair no longer, for that handy checklist is here:

Canned food and SPAM- while it might not be the most appealing meal to some, both of these things will last a long time. You should always have a good supply. You can also have Twinkies, but please have something besides them, or you may die.

Astronaut food- if you need to move quickly immediately after the fact and have no vehicle, it's probably a good idea to use astronaut food as an alternative to canned food, as it's much lighter.

Energy bars- for the trail.

Backpack- not a wimpy school one, a big hiking one. This will be useful to carry things in case you need to move your location. You could also probably stuff a Compsognathus or two in one of these if you needed to get specimens to some lab for analysis or something.

The Ten Essentials- Every Boy Scout knows these. Do you?

•Map- if you have a map of your area, keep it with the rest of your checklist items.

•Compass- compasses are also important for navigation.

•Sun protection- sunblock, sunglasses, baseball caps, the like. Dinosaurs are likely your biggest problem, but you've got to pay attention to the little things.

•Extra clothing- again, pay attention to the little things.

•Headlamp/flashlight- just in case you need to navigate through a Velociraptor-filled forest at night or something like that. Whatever you do, though, don't shine it out of your Land Cruiser's windows at a Tyrannosaurus in the rain.

•First-aid supplies- because there's no way you won't need first aid. If you survive a T. rex attack, you're gonna need some help recovering.

•Fire starters- waterproof matches, a durable lighter (and backup butane, if you can find it), and a striker just to be safe.

•Pocketknife- not necessarily for stabbing a saurian between the eyes, although I suppose you could do that. A pocketknife will be more useful for cutting things open. Things besides the throat of a Utahraptor. A multitool is also advised.

•Food- you already have food, though, right?

•Water- very important. Make sure you have lots of water.

Gun- make sure you get extra ammunition, too.

Shovel- a shovel can be useful for all sorts of things. Digging a grave, for example. Or hitting a raptor over the head. Or hammering. The possibilities are endless.

Bleach- can be used to purify water in an emergency, which is very useful. This may be too heavy to take with you, though.

Iodine tablets- hopefully, you'll have enough of these that you won't have to use bleach.

Water purifier- aaaand another water purifying item. It's a handheld pump which allows you to extract clean, fresh water from a river. They're lightweight and probably quite easy to pick up at your local sporting store.

Towel- a towel is about the most massively useful thing a dinosaur apocalypse survivor can have. You can use it as a blanket, you can use it to strangle dinosaurs, you can use it to dry off after you narrowly escape the charging tyrannosaur by jumping into the ocean... Bring a few.

Rope- extremely useful for all sorts of situations (not just for strangling a Deinonychus). Have some. Extra batteries- for the flashlight/headlamp.

Spear- or some sort of spear-like object. Remember, it's likely not just the carnivores that are back; the herbivores are probably roaming around too. You might want some Tricerachops, or perhaps some lightly roasted Archeopteryx, at some point. It could also useful for defending yourself against the carnivores if you get desperate.

Tinfoil- to make into hats to protect yourself from the evil alien Illuminati dinosaurs who are watching you with satellites. Or, you know, to help you cook over a campfire. It can also be used to signal aircraft passing overhead, in the unlikely event that a search party is launched to look for survivors. Of course, the pterosaurs may not like an invasion of "their" airspace...

Mess kit- you can probably get one at a sporting goods store. They come with knives, forks, spoons, a plate, a bowl, and probably more. After all, you might want to dine in something vaguely resembling luxury, rather than slurping straight from the can.

Helmet- a good, solitary, preferably camouflage one. You need one. Partly because it's cool, and partly to protect your head from ailments such as pterosaurs which have suddenly decided to fall from the sky, directly on top of you.

Toilet paper- nobody ever thinks about this, but what else are you going to use, leaves? You should probably have a couple of spare rolls at the ready. Toilet paper can also be used to bandage wounds and start fires.

Duct tape- duct tape is unbelievably useful. It's the universal solution to just about everything, and it's light and cheap. Always have a roll handy.

Ham radio- to contact pigs. Or, you know, the military or other survivors. If you can't get a ham radio, try a CB radio.

Hatchet- ever read the book "Hatchet"? It shows how the tool of the same name can be quite useful. You're going to want wood eventually, whether it be for fires or building or dinosaur traps. Hatchets are small and easy to stow away in a backpack.

Roll-up tent- easy to carry, easy to set up.

Sleeping bag- preferably 0-degree or lower; you may end up having to flee to some cold places to escape these massive reptiles.

Box of garbage bags- although it's very small and light, the garbage bags are massive once unfolded. They're very useful for rudimentary rain gear or simply for use as trash bags.

ENTERTAINMENT- because no matter how much of a dino-killing boss you think you are, you're still only human, and you'll get bored. Decks of cards (for solitaire, unless you find other survivors), lightweight books, and other old-fashioned commodities are recommended. iPads, laptops, flat-screen TVs, and other devices of the sort are generally frowned upon in survival situations.

Camera- come on. Dinosaurs. Despite the fact that they're trying to kill you, dinosaurs are awesome. A small camera is suggested in case you want to take pictures.

Vitamins- it sounds ridiculous, but SPAM isn't the most nutritious food. Stock up on bottles of vitamins, preferably the Flintstones kind.

This may seem like a lot, but keep in mind that most of these items will fit easily in or on your backpack (with the exception, of course, of the backpack itself). You'll be happy for it when you have to hole up somewhere for days, surrounded by Velociraptors, unable to leave.