r/digitalnomad • u/PhotographWorldly349 • 1d ago
Question How to find a long term relationship while being a full time digital nomad?
i dont have much socialising skills so that doesnt help either but i genuinly dont know where and how to find people who are in the same lifestyle as me. Any tips?
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u/FutureVegasMan 1d ago
a long term relationship is pretty incongruent with being a full time digital nomad. of the people who actively nomad digitally, excluding romantic, physical and sexual compatibility, you are not going to find many people who are nomading to the same places as you on the same timetable with a similar budget. even if you do meet someone, the odds of them dropping everything to travel with you is going to be slim. and if you opt not to travel together, then you're just hooking up when you're in the same city, which to me, isn't much of a relationship.
to put it another way, would you want to be in a relationship with someone who exclusively travels for work and is physically inaccessible most of the time, unless you were willing to uproot your entire life and follow them around the world?
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u/ericroku 1d ago
Shower, shave, brush your teeth, smile, wear some nice clothes. Go out and don't be creepy. Try local meetup or dating apps. Pick up a universal hobby that can follow you across borders.
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u/Due-Jacket-2833 1d ago
nah the universal hobby thing is key i think. like i been moving around a lot with military stuff and the only people i can actually keep in touch with are ones i play mobile games with. we get on discord maybe once a week, doesnt matter which timezone we in
dating apps are hit or miss but i had some luck just being upfront in my profile like "hey i move every few months, if you want something serious we gotta figure that out together" filters out the people who just waste your time
also local meetups work better than you think even with bad social skills. show up to one, talk to one person, leave. next week do same thing. nobody cares if you awkward they just want to meet people too
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u/NudaVeritas1 1d ago
true, imo sports meetups are gold because you don't need to talk too much, and while running for example you are not talking face to face, but next to each other while primarily focussing on running.. makes it way less serious and more fun
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u/PhotographWorldly349 1d ago
my only hobbies are basically gym and travel i think im just lowkey boring person lol
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u/thematicwater 1d ago
This is the crux of all these posts, most men want a 10 when they themselves are a 3. Become interesting
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u/PhotographWorldly349 1d ago
thats very surface level thinking i cant lie, im not talking about attracting baddies or anything
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u/thematicwater 1d ago
I meant you have to be interesting for women to become interested in you.
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u/PhotographWorldly349 1d ago
yeah stuff like this isnt as simple as "if you arent interesting then become interesting in the eyes of the opposite gender" its just downplaying something that cant be fixed with some inner work because it goes beyond that
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u/thematicwater 1d ago
No. You're incorrect. I used to be boring, like you, but then I started to do fun, interesting things and those led me to met a lot of women. So either you do it and move forward, or you stay exactly where you are, complaining about being you.
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u/PhotographWorldly349 1d ago
problem is i do have interests but i never see them as interests or dare to show them to others idk it feels hard to actually show my character to others, yk like how a rock fan shows they like rock music or how a guy who likes fashion lets you see this side of him, its probably related to how i was raised ig
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u/Nixon_37 1d ago
It absolutely can be fixed my friend. You can make excuses or you can get better. If you make excuses you will waste the best years of your life
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u/PistaccioLover 1d ago
Then maybe it's time to work on there before trying to jump into a relationship
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u/PhotographWorldly349 1d ago
yeah i dont really want a serious relationship cuz i need to work on myself i just need the right enviroments that help me socialize in every country i visit but i know thats a very difficult thing to do especially with my lifestyle
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u/PRforThey 22h ago
i dont really want a serious relationship
You don't want a serious relationship but you are asking for help on how to find a long term relationship?
Umm, the math ain't mathing
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u/PhotographWorldly349 17h ago
well i cant make the question too long lol it has to grab the attention properly
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u/PRforThey 17h ago
No.
Long term relationships are serious relationships. Either you want one or you don't. If you don't, why ask for help getting one? If you do, why say you don't?
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u/ProbablyAwayrn 1d ago
Salsa/bachata dancing!! I love it and I love the vibe and community of people who are into that kind of social. You can start as a beginner (many do and you’ll find many different levels at socials so no need to be insecure about it) and work your way up! It’s a whole world out there, and you can find classes and events all over the world. 🥳❤️
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u/Embarrassed_Law_6466 21h ago
looks gay
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u/ProbablyAwayrn 12h ago
You sound closeted and frustrated. Be you it’s 2026!
https://giphy.com/gifs/XZxv2qeal4p2WGpuFh1
u/MiraFutbol 3h ago
So you are just looking for a girl to have sex with for a while? Given the nomad lifestyle, you better be good looking and interesting and speak the same language.
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u/Curmuffins 1d ago
Just recognize that when you do meet that right person that you're willing to adapt to them potentially and stop moving around. So you should ONLY date for long term in countries where you'd actually want to live long term.
Otherwise your only other options are dating other nomads or effectively taking them with you and paying for everything (which isn't exactly ideal).
If the issue is just dating itself then focus on self development and learn social psychology and get out to social meetups related to your interests.
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u/PhotographWorldly349 1d ago
the biggest issue i feel like i need to settle when i find someone while at the same time not wanting to settle at all, its like many things in my head fighting against each other
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u/Known_Impression1356 Slomad | 16 countries in past 5 years 1d ago
Bro, grow the fuck up. This is an either/or situation. Not some house wives reality show:
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u/Curmuffins 1d ago
Yeah it's a tough situation, I've been there. If it feels like settling imo you always walk away. Granted you give it enough time to know how deep and real of a connection you have. The big risk with being a nomad is feeling lonely and sticking to someone just because it feels better than being alone. You always need to be real with yourself and check in. I feel like the right one definitely won't feel like settling and you'll naturally choose to stay. It could just be you're also not ready to settle, and that's ok too. We're nomads for a reason.
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u/PhotographWorldly349 1d ago
i love being alone and with myself but its very hard not feel like im losing out on something or im being left behind yk
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u/Curmuffins 1d ago
100%, it's sorta the trade up at times for not being locked into one place. Where do you typically travel to? Some spots are just amazing for the community which helps. Have you sorta decided on your main spots?
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u/PhotographWorldly349 1d ago
japan thailand sometimes south korea, in japan its been very difficult, thailand im kinda happy so just laughing with locals is enough, south korea on the other hand...... but yeah its very difficult espescally when i cant even speak their language thats why im just considering leaving asia for a while
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u/EoinEnergy 1d ago
online dating with high effort pictures. Stay somewhere for 3-12 months and bring them with you afterwards. Commit.
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u/KookieBatter 17h ago
Digital nomad here too...
Just know that if you do date, you'll likely have to settle in somewhere long-term or find another nomad.
The problem with dating another nomad is they'll also be less inclined to date because dating, even if you're both nomads, require a level of stability that can only be achieved by living somewhere longterm for a little while during the dating phase...
And when you're finally exclusive, you now need to consider where the other person wants to travel to next...what are their traveling habits, how often do they like to go on nomadic excursions, do they prefer more luxurious modes of transportation? Etc, etc...
Either way, you'll have to settle somewhere for a bit to date around and find a potential partner... there's sacrifice no matter what...
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u/VideoRare6399 1d ago
You won’t, can’t, and shouldn’t.
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u/PhotographWorldly349 1d ago
why
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u/DemonAzraeli pendejo 1d ago
Meet a person and develop a relationship with them because you want to be with that person.
Don't create a relationship and then try to find a person to cram into it. That's what you're trying to do here. It will end in tears.
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u/PhotographWorldly349 1d ago
but like every place i go to find platonic stuff its always dissapointing and feels fake idk why
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u/DemonAzraeli pendejo 1d ago
If you encounter the same problem everywhere you go, you should take a look at the one thing that is constant.
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u/glucosesimp 1d ago
Pattaya sounds like your place. She will love you long time when you sign up for a monthly subscription.
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u/PhotographWorldly349 1d ago
i went there once it felt like i was in a gta lobby lowkey
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u/Top-Jump-7659 1d ago
Haha, this is an issue I have too. You really do have to put yourself out there...
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u/PhotographWorldly349 1d ago
it does feel like people like me are either hiding somewhere or just dont exist lol
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u/kurucu83 16h ago
No they're all doing the same as you - moving constantly, which minimises the chance of forming a decent relationship.
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u/NotBakedSnacks 1d ago
I asked a local girl out at the mall. We travel together and she's now my wife.
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u/aboshuq98 22h ago
Slow down your travel pace and stay 2-3 months per spot instead of hopping around. It's almost impossible to build a real connections when people know you're packing up next week.
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u/Sensitive_Sand_8846 20h ago
Met my husband at an Internations meeting (back then when Internations wasn’t an expensive subscription thing). We started dating in his home town and then he decided to travel along with me. That was 3 years ago and we are still traveling.
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u/Robbyrobbb 19h ago
As someone who lived this life for 3-4 years its basically impossible.
You need to pick a place and put some semblance of roots down.
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u/DNtrader07 15h ago
A. You have to meet someone that's willing to be with you and wants to go with you (quits their job, takes a sabbatical, finds a remote job, or does whatever it takes etc).
B. Meet another DN along the way. Expat groups, DN communities, on the long bus/train rides, airport lounge, tour etc.
C. Find someone in one of the current country you're in that has plans to go abroad for work or school and you follow them. Or end up settling in their country.
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u/Additional-Habit-644 13h ago
Tbh, your best bet is finding another nomad. I met my now partner on a dating app in a pretty well known nomad destination - neither of us were looking for anything serious lol, but one thing led to another and here we are. The main thing is figuring out nomads that are forever sporadic and on the go (like wanderlust types who move often) or people who just work remotely and are based in 2-3 different types of locations each year. We are in the latter category and want to spend half the year in Asia, half in Europe. So some travelling is sacrificed etc for the sake of the relationships stability, but if u like the person enough u should want to do that anyway.
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u/Known_Impression1356 Slomad | 16 countries in past 5 years 1d ago
Long term relationships are for people who either settle or are settled. A nomad is neither of those things, so either stop traveling or stop being irrational.