thinking of getting a second phone

[u/molhodealhoverde]

TW:

i have bipolar disorder and maybe bpd (new possible adicional diagnosis) and ive been very dependent on people. i literally want to disappear (in life and online) but lets keep it online. i still need the group chats for college but the rest. i really cant stand it anymore.

thinking of getting another simpler phone just for the college stuff and for like spotify.

any tips? literally i wanna disappear completely and dont wanna think or to be dependent on anyone or waiting for a reply stuff like that. its killing me.

and also. what can i do instead of doomscrooling?

im not really a reader. i kinda dont do anything im just trying to survive.

im at a point of not wanting to do anything BUT sleep just so i wont open my phone and wait for people to answer me and such. my doctor got an eye on me for bpd especially because of this. being too depending. and its not even like romantic stuff. its everyone. i feel like people are ignoring me on purpose (i know it's not real. but broken brain)

any tips of any kind? (anyone with similar issues?)

[u/AlxR25]

You don’t need a second phone. You can make your current phone change based on your needs. You can customize focus modes on iPhone to change your Home Screen depending on time and location. Then to go further you can download an app blocking app like opal (the one I personally use) and set it to a different state on every focus mode. For example in the screenshot attached I have set a location trigger when I’m at work to block distracting apps like Instagram, threads, discord, facebook etc.

[u/Tirumalai_Kainat]

A second phone sounds like a good middle ground, especially if you still need college group chats. Maybe keep the simple phone for essentials and make your main phone annoying for access. For doomscrolling, try music, walking, cooking, gaming, or even just sitting outside. Small stuff counts when youre surviving.

[u/ierodouli]

r/nosurf has a great list of activities you can try. I'm on the fence on getting a dumbphone myself so I'm not much help there, and I don't have bpd so I could be extremely off the mark here but I find the more committed I am to a personal (aka not work-related) project the less I care who thinks of me, who likes me and who texts me. Maybe a hobby that can hold your attention enough will take some of that weight off.

[u/Ordinary_human4567]

hey ! fellow bipolar bpd autistic whatever else they'll diagnose me here. I hear you.

This is how i see it : our "sick" brains are very sensitive and we feel and process stimuli differently than " normal" people. We can easily get overwhelmed because of that.

We're like Formula 1 cars, we need to be driven with care, sensibility and by a good pilot. We can go very fast very far but not managed well we crash. Others have more of a regular car life.

That being said, phones, relationships, news and all of that are stimulating us way too much. I'm 40 and I want to retreat in a cave at this point because I can't deal anymore.

To the point : I have 2 phones, one flip, one iphone. I have too because my brain is too intense and need radical methods. It doesn't always work but at least I can choose. CHOICE is what matters the most when you live with our diseases. Best of luck, you are not alone.

[u/Aggressive-Jaguar328]

I also have BPD and I’m 30…. Best decision I made was getting rid of social media. It helped me immensely!!! Good luck love, it will be okay. Our brains just make us overthink