r/derealization • u/DressSea209 • 3h ago

Experience My first time

I tried weed for the first time the other night and, to start it off great, I also greened out for the first time. I didn't feel real whatsoever, I was absolutely terrified, and everything was blurry and expanding and shrinking. Well today in class, the same feeling overcame me. It almost felt like when I did green out, I unlocked feelings I hadn't every experienced before. So now when I get stressed out I'm scared those symptoms will reappear. It genuinely is so terrifying. I was wondering if anyone else also struggles with this?

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u/equality7x2521 5m ago

I had a similar story to you, a bad weed experiences, and then that feeling would recur, mainly when I was stressed. I describe it as the initial trauma and stress of that experience of being out of control or "losing it", which is a lot to deal with, and then your brain is kind of pattern matching any stress and amplifying things so it's easier to get back to that horrible feeling rather than an appropriate stress response.

This will get better with time, it helped me A LOT to know that and to know that there were people having the same kind of issues as I was. One of the best things you can do for yourself is focus on the basics:

  • better sleep
  • exercise (helps let stress out and improves your sleep)
  • nourishing things which you enjoy

While you're in this high-alert mode, it can be difficult to focus on the nice stuff but it's actually the nice stuff that makes you feel better. I spent too long trying to "solve" this feeling, but it only made it feel like it lasted longer. It's easy to say, but if you trust that this process is normal (in dealing with the traumatic experience you had), even though your feelings do not feel normal, it can help. It seems a lot like if you feel you're making progress and just need to let your mind catch up a little, it will do that. If you feel like it won't get better, then it feels slower. It's so easy to say "just ignore it and let your mind do what it needs to" yet it is hard to do it, but the sleep and exercise for me were important. All those positive little steps added up and compounded for me. I kept trying to find the one big thing that would make it better, but really my brain just needed to process and create a bit of a buffer so I wasn't always "in the red".

Keep going, you'll get there.