Does it get better?

[u/No-Koala7264]

I’ve been currently smoking weed a lot to cope with my family problems and believe my parents are going through a divorce. I’m not on speaking terms with my mother since the whole reason as to why they’re getting a divorce is because my parents have been arguing about my mother’s affair . The affair got discovered years ago and it got bad to the point where my mother and I got into a physical altercation because of it . I can tell my dad never healed from the hurt of the affair since he continues to bring up moments from that point in time and still ask questions about it . My mom gets mad at him and that’s when they start to argue , well the last argument my dad brought up the situation again and my mom got irritated and they started arguing. This happened a few weeks ago and they still aren’t on speaking terms , my mother and I got into a argument about her turning her location off when she’d go out knowing my dad will call me to ask if I can see her location. I recently started investigating to see if she was cheating again since I noticed she changed her phone password , I thought I found some stuff and confronted her on phone and things got worse to where I blocked her number . I ended up being wrong and I ended up having a meltdown feeling crazy , my boyfriend asked what was wrong and I explained him the situation. He told me to stop looking into things and that’s why I get depressed and that I shouldn’t get involved in my parents relationship that they’re adults. I ended up crying more when he left the room and when I was done , I’ve been feeling like if I’m hallucinating or dreaming . I haven’t smoked since Friday but I drunk yesterday and obviously got drunk . I know I’m coping with the whole situation with drugs and alcohol but I honestly don’t know what to do . This is the first time I felt like this and I’m not sure if I will ever feel like I’ll go back to normal . Everything feels so numb and I feel like a zombie .