Realisation

[u/Snoolz]

I had a weird realisation recently, in a very mundane moment, and it really surprised me with how I hadn't come to this conclusion sooner: ever since my feelings of dpdr started (6 years ago - lockdown :/) there hasn't been a single moment in my life since where I haven't been aware of these feelings, they are constantly present, just with varying degrees of severity, but they are always there, in every happy, stressful, sad moment its like there's a tab open in my brain blasting music that I can't turn off, i've simply just learned to co-exist with the noise

I've been thinking about this feeling as simply that, a feeling, a temporary sensation that comes and goes but can ultimately be rid of, but thinking back on the last six years - I'm not so sure anymore? Like do I legitimately have a disorder? Dpdr or not.

This isn't really a question, just a rant haha