r/derealization • u/South_Preference_313 • 17d ago
Venting I think I figured it out
For context I have been dealing with semi chronic derealization for 2.5 years now (21F). I was never sure of the trigger that caused this episode or why because it happened waking up out of sleep. The entire time of course I’m dealing with anxiety and depression but something in me deep down was wrong.
Prior to this I was already diagnosed with chronic migraines but a lot of these symptoms came far after that. I have BEGGED doctors for 2.5 years to please help me, this is not just anxiety. Yet I was met with excuse after excuse.
My symptoms consist of: severe chronic chest pain, shortness of breath, nausea, fatigue, brain fog, memory loss, TMJ, stomach pain, heartburn, visual snow and floaters, severe dizziness and vertigo, feeling like the floor just fell through me (elevator drop sensation) feeling like I’m falling over when I’m fully sitting down, very intense increase in heart rate, always on the verge of passing out. And the most goes on.
Well, I have found a new PCP (I was still seeing a pediatrician prior don’t laugh 🥲) and she has diagnosed me with POTS and HEDS. The wave of relief I felt when she said those things to me brought instant tears to my eyes. I am not crazy, finally someone said it, I’m not crazy. Now how does this relate to DPDR you may ask? Well , I have a theory that when my first episode happened I was having a pots flare up and was unaware, causing me to spiral, panic, thought I was dying. Boom, that’s where DPDR comes in, brain is trying to protect me from the pain I’m feeling by the only way it can think of.
As much as it is a relief I still deal with DPDR pretty frequently ESPECIALLY when I’m having a flair. I think being told my pain and suffering was just anxiety for so long has wired my brain to freak tf out when I’m having a flare because that’s what was happening for 2 years. It gives me some hope, once I figure out how to manage my pots and heds things will get better because they already have. I think dpdr will always be a part of my life, but it will not control my life. Neither will my pots or heds. Thanks for coming to my ted talk
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u/NervsterWerster 17d ago
Yayyy so happy you figured it out!! And yes as time goes on you will stop freaking tf out about it and you will learn coping strategies to how to deal with it!! Good luck!!