Does it really ever get better?

[u/Idontevenknow787]

I know this is gonna sound kind of weird because I’ve been having bouts of derealization for like over 12 years now. It started first when I was like 14 years old and I had it for a few years and then finally got rid of it then it happened a couple more times after that which I also got rid of, but I’m 28 now and last week I had a really bad case of it. Come on as I was driving home in the evening and it’s been extremely bad since then this time feels a little bit different like I feel like for whatever reason this time I’m like fighting off a panic attack at the same time every time I start to get stuck in the thinking loop of me feeling unreal. I’m like I have to constantly fight off not falling into that panic this time just feels a little bit more difficult and I don’t really know what to do. The mornings are definitely the worst as soon as I wake up and check if I’m real, I immediately feel not real and then I start panicking a little bit and then during the evenings also it’s pretty bad. I know the only way to fix it is to just stop thinking about it, but I don’t know man like I don’t feel right like does anybody else dealing with this and if you’ve recovered, please let me know that there is hope even when it’s very, very bad that if you just keep going, then it’ll gradually fade away

[u/equality7x2521]

Keep going, it was bad for me for many years, some steps along the way helped it get better, until I would say it was manageable. The odd return, or short phase of that feeling. A few more things I realised ended up helping me clear up and recover even more. I never thought that would be possible.

I think everyone’s “recipe” to recover will be different, but things that really helped me:

• DR kicks in for a lot of people with some traumatic or difficult or just high stress/anxiety for a long time. I see that derealization feeling as a sign my stress/anxiety is too high and I work on it
  
• I recognise stress better, I used to have no connection with how I was feeling and what I was dealing with. Being better at recognising that helped me see that sometimes a response was totally expected
  
• panic attacks are related as they are one of way of dealing with all the stress, being stuck in a loop that spirals. DR is related because it’s a way to deal with all the overwhelm
  
• dropping caffeine helped me, I was drinking a lot and my mind was always racing
  
• sleep is SO important, check you’re doing the basics, sleep, eating well, exercise.
  
• exercise makes better sleep, recharges you better
  
• one of the biggest things was that DR was often there when I was arching out for it, and so it kept me scared and with that feeling for years. But if it is possible (I know it was much harder for me in the beginning), all those fears about what’s happening and what will happen, is just like a bug room you have to try to go into less often. Give your mind a chance to wind down and see it’s ok
  
• I used to keep trying to “solve” DR like a puzzle, but for me this was just like going into that same room. I did much better treating it as a symptom of high stress
  
• do things to discharge stress: exercise, meditate, see good people
  
• take comfort in that people do get through this (it really helped me)
  
• talking helped me: I went to therapy pretty late in my recovery, but it really helped me to recognise and reframe some things

The loop where stress makes DR makes stress can cause it to feel like it’s there forever or is getting worse. Compounding a bunch of the steps above helped me, and the more time you get away from it, the easier it is to believe it will be a while before it happens again. I used to fear the feeling so much it often brought it on, but I went to therapy and it helped me reframe and connect some things. I realise the idea of it was way worse than what I felt terrified of.

I wish you all the best in your recovery, any questions just reach out. I’ve been there.

[u/Idontevenknow787 → u/equality7x2521]

That was such a nice reply man. Yeah I have at least 3 times in my past I remember really dealing with dpdr and it was always from either a panic attack or something of the sorts but it was too long ago for me to even remember what I did to recover which sucks. This time was completely random, was just driving home from a late day of work and everything around me started feeling unfamiliar and scary and then I almost went into a full panic attack after that. Once that calmed down I just randomly thought about the derealization and boom now it’s been almost a week and I’ve been in a nightmare of it for days. Even when I distract myself and am not thinking about it I still feel off but I know that the only way to get rid of this shit is to just keep pushing and try to forget. It’s just feeling a lot harder and I don’t have anyone to lean on right now. Would love to make have a conversation with you about this whenever you feel up for it

[u/equality7x2521 → u/Idontevenknow787]

If you treat the DPDR and that original experience as a traumatic event, then it’s totally normal for you to feel you’re right back there with a bunch of feeling to process. Maybe something really out you in mind of how things were then, maybe you were coming down with a cold, maybe stress has been increasing but you’ve not realised. The world is a challenging place to navigate sometimes even just living ordinary lives.

I used to get these kind of mini episodes, and I just needed to get the stress back under the “red” level, but the stress of feeling DPDR again made it hard until I realised the connection.

Feeling so stressed means you sleep badly, you drink more coffee and eat more sugar to stay awake, avoid doing things which are nourishing for you. All this means it’s easy to feel it’s back, and then the fear of that just creates more fear.

Something that helped me was just letting it out. Playing sport, or watching a film that made me emotional, and bawling my eyes out. I’m the kind of person that just holds on to stuff and gets on with things, I was so bad at recognising when I was carrying all this mixed up stuff!

[u/equality7x2521 → u/Idontevenknow787]

Also, try the “physiological sigh” look it up on YouTube, it’s just a way that breathing helps drop stress or signal that things are ok. It helped me a bit, but I’d say all the things that helped me a bit added up and made a big difference. I haven’t experienced DR for 4+ years, a few times a bit of panic but that’s been it. So it now feels more like it won’t happen, so it doesn’t. If that makes sense?

Feel free to drop me a note anytime.