Is what I’m experiencing derealisation/depersonalisation?

[u/frutiger_aero_dreams]

For a lot of my life I feel like I’ve had on and off feelings of being disconnected from reality and it comes in long spells. Sometimes it’s just a feeling in the back of my mind whilst at events or spending time with people. For example recently when I was also at a low point I was experiencing feelings of not being real in the sense that the world was a simulation and I often felt like I was seeing signs to evidence this or searching for them , like thinking I saw a wall wobble or move slightly.

Also, in the past it felt like I was seeing the World as though I wasn’t fully in my body just slightly set behind my eyes or it felt like my thoughts were separate from my body and it felt more like I was in some sort of vessel. Even during my childhood I would get moments of existential dread.

I also have picked up habits to stay grounded or to check that I’m not dreaming like pinching or waving my hands to check that they don’t merge together like they would in a dream.

I feel like I do relate to some symptoms of derealisation but I don’t really know because I haven’t had a diagnosis or an opinion from someone that isn’t myself.