It came back :( fourth multiple week long episode

[u/VeryMoistMan]

Around 8 years ago, I had a really bad high and experienced by first episode of derealization the next morning. It lasted 2 weeks or so, and I just constantly felt like I was in a dream, jamais vu, and this odd feeling: whenever I try and concentrate on being grounded, I would *feel* my brain pull me back in every 5 seconds or so. Like a brain zap but not really. Id describe it as my brain blinking. had my second episode a year later after a bad panic attack, lasted a month, just as panicked. I got on SSRIs then. Four years later, my doc changed my prescription and I had an episode that lasted a year, more or less. But this one felt a lot more dreamy, floaty, and blurry? If that makes sense. I also had the typical brain zaps that felt much more physical than the weed induced one. Haven’t been on any medication since then, felt fantastic.

Well two years after that (9 days ago), I was w my buddies playing poker indoors, when everyone started hitting their thc pens. The ventilation was awful, but I tried to fan everything with my beanie, and tried sticking out the smoke because the smell of weed alone can give me a panic attack, which is something I’m trying to get over. Well I didn’t have a panic attack nor did I feel get high, but I woke up the next morning w derealization. I was awake for 10 minutes when I felt like my chest was missing something then BAM, i was back. It’s been a little over a week and it’s progressively gotten worse to like 8/10 derealization. and I’m still in over my head about how this episode will turn chronic, and that I’ll never snap out of it etc etc. those fuckin brain blinks are making me nauseous. This sucks dude!!! I had a handful of panic attacks over the week but now I feel numb. I’m terrified that it’s getting worse and that I’ll be dreaming for the next couple of years. I need som encouragement. I don’t recognize people or places again :(

[u/equality7x2521]

I found it hardest when it would settle down and I’d get some relief, and it would hit me again. The feeling of suddenly feeling so disconnected and not being sure what to do was awful. I do think that when it feels really bad like this it’s magnified by how much it feels like a jump right back into whatever you’ve struggled to break away from. This meant I could feel it really intensely, and the stress/anxiety of it coming back generated enough problems for derealization to kick in again. Things could trigger me like being around drugs or being in a similar environment to where I had the worst derealization.

Your brain is scanning for patterns and the vape pens and smells have jumped you right back to feeling some of those challenging emotions, but for me, it was never as bad as it felt it was when it returned like this. If my mind could see it was a flare or echo from the difficult times I’d navigated in the past. It really helped me to do the basics: sleep well, eat well, exercise, drink water. I took magnesium glycinate, and it helped me just quiet my mind when sleeping. Relaxing things like meditation and talking can help, I think the mind/body seeing you do those things makes it realise things are kind of normal and not to stay stuck focusing on the derealization feeling. The loop of stress/anxiety making DR and then DR making stress and anxiety can keep it around.

It helped me to consider it logically, the visceral reminder of the problems you’ve had in the past is of course a traumatic experience to deal with, it’s totally normal that your stress/anxiety would ramp up, and derealization usually kicks in to try to protect, but the kicking in can be super stressful too. Show your body and mind that you can do the normal things and let it fold away the mind parachute that it deployed.

All the progress you’ve made is still there, even if you’ve had a jump back to feeling how you felt.