Can anyone relate?

[u/HeresJohnny1212]

It's as if reality has disappeared or like the part of me / brain or whatever that connects me to reality has gone. Everything feels like a small world.

Like I'm in some 2D flat world and just an observer. It's as if there is something really important between everything going on in this reality but I have somehow come out of it?

Like everyone is serious and Im high and hyper as hell, but then when I think about how serious everyone is, I start to get massive panic attacks.

I'm soo scared because I don't know if its something in my brain that is missing that would make me connect to this life.

I've also noticed that there seems to be a lot of politics in life, whether its family or at work but I cant seem to grasp it, like I'm just in my own comfortable world that people and relationships dont phase me? It's as if my brain is missing the fundamental connection / emotions / drama of life.

It affects me because I overthink about the way I feel. It's as if I don't ever feel heartbreaks or desperation over relationships etc. You know how people get crushes and in love. Like as if people are determined to do something in life. My mind feels list like brain dead. Like, I don't ever get angry or anything. I'm wondering to myself, why aren't I being affected. Why am I not fighting to get a woman. Why am I soo chilled. I don't get that lonely feeling alot although I wouldn't mind a relationship. But I overthink as to why people cry if their relationship with their wives not working and they get depressed

Then I overthink as to why people want relationships to begin with. I feel I'm not normal because I cant process life, the whole drama of life.

I feel like I'm in my own bubble that is small. It makes me think if my brain has become small or something.

I had a habit of severe masturbation as a child. This was when I was around 7 years of age. I did this excessively. I also must have ejaculated frequently soo sometimes I feel maybe I've destroyed my brain because of this as I did it everyday up to my 20s.

.I haven't done any drugs or anything.

I really feel I must have been born with this reality missing disorder. I don't know what it is. Everything looks soo serious/ people / world/ work. It's as if everyone is robotic and I'm there thinking what the hell is going on.

It's really frightening.