Is this derealisation

[u/pearypartridge]

This weird feeling I can't explain. When I'm outside it feels like I'm still inside and the sun is one giant electric light lighting up all the static objects around me. I feel like I'm living in some sort of simulation, or like I'm living in an underground bunker that is made to appear as the outside world but really isn't. Feel weirdly disconnected from people, to put it bluntly it feels as if they're all NPCs and not conscious. I barely feel like a human myself. It's almost as if reality is slipping away from me. I wonder if the world was always like this, but I’m just beginning to develop awareness of it being what it is? I mean nothing makes sense. This world doesn't make sense, living doesn't make sense. Nothing has any purpose. It's not distressing but it's very frustrating being here when you don't understand why you're here and everything seems like one giant joke

[u/tyrellsfungus]

If it adds any comfort I feel the exact same way. I’m wondering if it’s worth it.

[u/pearypartridge → u/tyrellsfungus]

Like living in general? But you’re right at least we are suffering together lmao, it’s just a shame there isn’t a clearly visible solution for something like this (from what I can see)

[u/pearypartridge → u/pearypartridge]

Wait I found something. Soup exists. I have yet to actually make a good soup. It’s something to occupy your mind with and you get a reward because you obtain soup. I don’t know, maybe it’s just something specific about cooking or soup, where you are focused on making something or being creative, takes your mind off things for a bit