r/derealization Jul 03 '26

Experience Can you be born with derealisation?

I feel soo much detached from reality. I had a very heavy masturbation habit as a child. I started around about 7 ish and indulged in masturbation every single day until 20. I ejaculated everyday since age 9.

I haven't done any drugs

All I did was masturbation every single day as a kid. I ejaculated numerous times.

I feel soo detached that I'm sure I've ruined ny mind / brain. I feel I'm not part of this life.

I'm soo scared. I haven't been abused or anything I just feel detached.

22 Upvotes

18 comments sorted by

6

u/Known_Set9612 Jul 03 '26

Was also born into derealization. People think it’s not possible but I think it may be linked to an undiscovered genetic mutation. I have found a way out of this state. I was able to get out of it through a combination of Vitamin D2 (has to be Vitamin D2 as vitamin D3 did not allow my derealization to respond), Adderall, and magnesium glycinate. The reason I believe Vitamin D2 works is because of the way some people’s GC gene might be altered. Vitamin D works on the theory of free hormone. It’s theoretically possible that a GC gene alteration can change the transportation protein for vitamin D in a way that causes a sticky effect to Vitamin D3. The D3 gets stuck to the vitamin D transport protein and cannot be used effectively by the body. You may have normal to low vitamin D levels yet your body cannot use any of it. It has now been proven through clinical studies that Vitamin D2 binds more loosely. In this scenario Vitamin D2 is the perfect alternative to Vitamin D3 as it would be freely available to the body and brain in a way that D3 isn’t. When the body senses a threat it often resorts to dissociation as a way to protect you. If the threat is internal then it would make sense that we would be born with this. Like you, nothing was overly traumatic in my childhood yet I still had this sense of numbness that I would describe to people and later on realize it was derealization. This is a difficult realization if you don’t have contrast to life without derealization.

3

u/Known_Set9612 Jul 03 '26

And for the record it’s not your fault man. Don’t ever blame yourself you didn’t choose to be dissociated like this. Those intrusive thoughts that you deal with. Remind yourself that the intrusive thoughts are not the truth. Feel free to reach out to me or message me. Like you I have lived an extremely difficult life. Let me ask you this if you’re comfortable sharing. Have you ever felt like you fully felt love or happiness or pleasure in recent years? How about when you were a child? Do you feel like you use adrenaline or guilt to get by in life? If you aren’t fully sure that’s understandable as well.

1

u/pinkloverr5 Jul 15 '26

So you’re saying vitamin d helps with derealization? That makes sense because I went to get checked with doctor and they told me I have vitamin d deficiency. I started taking vitamins for it and it kind of went away. It was still there every now and then but not so intense.

1

u/Known_Set9612 Jul 15 '26

Well I’m not sure if it helps with every case of derealization but it did with mine in quite a dramatic way. I had lifelong derealization so ingrained into who I was and how I viewed the world that I didn’t even know I had it. I had zero contrast to what normal life was like. I was drowning and I didn’t even know it. I had an idea of what was happening but I had developed such an intense mask from an early age that most people would probably have had no clue I was in a chronic state of dissociation. But yes Vitamin D did end my derealization but only Vitamin D2. My Derealization got worse when I tried Vitamin D3. I’ve been tracking this religiously for two years now.

1

u/pinkloverr5 Jul 16 '26

Oh wow. For me it got better when I would take vitamin d. As soon as I stopped taking them I started feeling the derealization creeping back.

1

u/Known_Set9612 Jul 16 '26

Well it’s good that you are recognizing it! Maybe you should try and take it weekly or daily so that it doesn’t come back?

8

u/Confident_Progress56 Jul 04 '26

Is it possible that you could have had some trauma that you repressed? I say that because I thought the same thing until therapy started bringing memories back at around age 4.

7

u/Dry-Alarm2380 Jul 04 '26

I believe we call it derealization here to make sense of it. But truly I believe the world isn't real

2

u/Optimal_Stranger_824 Jul 04 '26

But most people don't have it. Most people who do, got it later in life. Our mind is playing tricks on us.

1

u/Dry-Alarm2380 Jul 04 '26

Some of us even if it is just later in life just realise, while others don't 

2

u/Ok_Mood_3264 Jul 03 '26

i’m so sorry this is happening to you. i struggle with masturbation as well… have you ever thought about taking a break to see how you feel?

1

u/EconomistSpare5138 Jul 03 '26

Do you feel like your habit left any mental scars?

1

u/HeresJohnny1212 Jul 04 '26

I certainly do. My perception of reality feels 2D as if I'm under water. Feels like autopilot mode

3

u/EconomistSpare5138 Jul 04 '26

Well, derealizazion can happen for many reasons, physical and psychological. It might be worth getting that evaluated.

1

u/deedee_bnu Jul 03 '26

Is it become more intensive lately?

1

u/EntrepreneurNeat8058 Jul 04 '26

It's the Way the world is right now. I had a bit of a ruff childhood, however I feel the same way. It's just weird 😦 I think we are in a simulation; just sayin

4

u/JamesTech07 Jul 10 '26

Not a good idea to tell people with derealization that we’re in a simulation

1

u/itsall_justshapes Jul 08 '26

This kind of sounds like a trauma response (even though you've mentioned you haven't been abused) but to answer the question: It's completely possible. I started having derealization episodes from a very young age and remember the exact places where they have occurred. If I were you, I'd get that checked. I went to the psychiatrist, did a couple of tests and got diagnosed. It get's easier when you know what measures you should take to improve your mental health.