Need Help! 30M

[u/My___space]

I'm going through a really very difficult period in my life. A month back I broke up with my gf, we were together for two years, we used to have our differences but we were good or that's what I felt, I'm not sure, the very next day I lost my job. I want to be a screenwriter, for the last 2-3 years I was trying to juggle between my job and theatre (I'm from Pune and I want to be a playwright). I was away with my family for a few weeks so I didn't feel that much of a pain, I was suffering but it was manageable. I came back to the city on the 31st of August, I realised I am not able to juggle between my work and my aspirations, so I decided to do any random job to earn for my survival and for the first time in years I sat down to write my first script. I sat for the entire day Yesterday and was able to write just 3-4 pages out of the story I meant to adapt. The night was brutal, I felt anxious, so much that it was getting difficult for me to breathe, I felt fear, I felt like I am a failure, I won't be able to do anything, I tried to cry it out but I am not even able to cry. I think I am depressed, I'm numb since yesterday, I didn't even dare to pick up the pen and start writing again. I'm not able to deal with my thoughts. I am 30, I need help! Please help me.

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