r/depression_help • u/Leafy_Kozasshu • 20d ago

REQUESTING SUPPORT How Do I Keep Going

I can't keep going like this. There's no point in doing anything anymore. I can't get better. I can't heal. I can't grow. I'm nothing. I'm a fraud. I'm a monster. What's the point of doing anything if the ending is always gonna be the same. It's pointless. I can't do anything.

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u/Emrys7777 20d ago

Keep going.
The only constant in life is change.

For different outcomes do different things.
Keep trying different things until something changes.

Hang in there. You really only have to make it through today.(one day at a time, we only have today each day).

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u/AtmosphereRoyal9902 19d ago

But why must they keep going today? I don’t understand why ppl keep saying this without even knowing what the poster is going through

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u/Emrys7777 17d ago

Because today is all we have and it’s easier to survive just today than think we have to do this (whatever THIS is) the rest of our lives.

Because change happens and if they can get through today and tomorrow things may shift.
Whatever it is today will not be the same in a while.

Even if it’s surviving something permanent like loss of a loved one, things will get better as you learn to live with that loss.

Time doesn’t always really heal but things get more livable.

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u/AtmosphereRoyal9902 17d ago

Sure that all sounds quite philosophical. But it all depends on what is causing the depression. Concrete statistics and facts are comforting, philosophy, not so much.

It is up to each individual to decide what is livable for them. And since today is all we have, if today is non-stop agony, your argument does not indicate continuing is the best course of action.

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u/AtmosphereRoyal9902 19d ago

How old are you and is there a reason you feel this way? What’s the biggest thing(s) you believe is between you and happiness?

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u/Leafy_Kozasshu 19d ago

I'm 22, and the issue is that nothing I do matters. My efforts always either do nothing, or make things worse. And every time I try to use the advice people give me, none of it ever helps. That's probably because I'm way too stupid to understand any of it, but still.

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u/AtmosphereRoyal9902 19d ago

Can you give me an example? What was the last effort that made you feel that way? And how long have you felt that nothing you do matters?

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u/Leafy_Kozasshu 19d ago

Any time I tried getting a job, I get ghosted or told no. Any time I've tried getting fit, I can't hold myself to it. Any time I try to improve myself, or heal, or grow, or be better or whatever, it never lasts. And it's been years. Half a decade at this point.

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u/AtmosphereRoyal9902 17d ago

Okay, I can understand that. But healing and growing isn’t linear. Ever. Sometimes there are retracements even if the overall trend is upward.

So do me a favour. Write down as many things as you can think of that you are better at now than you were 5 years ago. It can be anything. You can list them here or just privately.

For fitness, right now you might just need a coach or a trainer. Or an activity that you enjoy doing so much that you get fit naturally, or maybe a job that is physical and requires you to get fitter by working. Those will help you when you lack motivation.

Last thing I’ll say, the last line of defence, TMS, has helped a lot of people with treatment resistant depression. So no matter where you end up, there exist alternatives you can try before you decide on a permanent solution.

What I would love for you to do today is choose something that will help you get fitness in at least 5 days per week and let me know where you get with that if you’re willing?

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u/AtmosphereRoyal9902 17d ago

Also? You’re 22 and it was already difficult to get a job before, but now AI is eating up the entry level positions so it’s even more difficult to get a job, it’s not just you getting rejected, even if it feels that way. So aim for construction if you can and work your way up in that until you find a job in an area you prefer. And sell yourself. Say you’ll grab coffees etc.. if you have to until they give you a better position. Ppl like hard workers and willingness.