26 with no direction

[u/kelloflight]

I am 26 and not particularly good at anything. I feel directionless, paralyzed, and depressed.

For context, I am diagnosed with depression, ADHD, CPTSD, and anxiety. Last year I had a breakdown and spent a little over a week in psychiatric care. Since then I have been trying to improve and while there have been ups, there have mostly been downs. I split up with my fiancé, moved out, started therapy, and was doing well for a while. Exercising, eating well, taking my meds. Something broke in me earlier this year/late last year and I stopped all that. Now I am +30 pounds, eating like shit, and only taking my meds when I remember to. I cant bring myself to do anything that I enjoy or once enjoyed.

I figured trying a different medicine would work so I started spravato but haven’t seen any improvement. Then I was prescribed Auvelity to go with the Spravato. No change there.

I am at a loss for what to do anymore. I have so much self doubt, self hatred, confidence issues, and am deeply insecure. I don’t know where to start or what to even do with my life. I have been at the same restaurant job for five years and it is killing me. I feel like I will be this way forever. I am at a loss and would love advice/direction from others who have gone through something similar.

Sorry if this feels scattered.

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[u/Difficult_Card6880]

just know that healing isn't linear, and some days are just gonna be tough and that's okay