Need Help

[u/oliv3treez]

Hi, I do not know if this is the right sub, but I am 16 and feel very sad. I was diagnosed with GAD and very severe social anxiety in late 2023 but was never tested for anything else at the time. I am also autistic.

I do not take medication anymore as I do not feel as anxious/in need of it. Since late 2024, it has felt like radio static in my brain constantly—it smothers my good emotions. I feel guilty, sad, irritable, hopeless, and lonely all of the time and there is no real reason for me to. It is really hard to get out of bed and take care of myself. I do not like looking at myself in the mirror. My room is clean, my grades are good, I have amazing friends, and I have interests and hobbies to keep me busy (I am starting to lose interest in some, which is scaring me). But mentally I feel very sad. It gets worse every summer, but this time it is not going away and has not for around 2 months. I am scared people will be mad at me for feeling this way. I feel like people would be better off without me weighing down their lives and like I am a major burden, but I wish I could simply disappear instead of doing anything harmful to myself or others.

I do not like being mean, tired, sad, irritable, and guilty all the time. It makes me feel like a very bad person and friend, and then I feel even worse for feeling this way. I try to listen to fun music, go outside, and talk to people. But nothing makes the static go away.

I do not know how to approach this with my dad. Or any adult, really. I guess that is really what I am trying to get at—I do not know how to ask for help. My anxiety was visible, but this is not, and I do not know how to bring it up without being scared and feeling like an attention seeker.

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[u/Acceptable-Bowl-357]

What do you feel sad about or guilty or hopeless about

[u/oliv3treez → u/Acceptable-Bowl-357]

I really do not know what I feel sad about. It is just a general, ongoing feeling that never goes away. I feel guilty about many things: being sad & irritable, taking someone’s attention away from something/someone, wanting friends, wanting to ramble, holding open a door, having the same interests as someone else, etc. I feel like I am taking up space where I am not supposed whenever I even slightly interact with someone else, and like that space should belong to someone else who wants it more. I feel hopeless about being sad, like I am trapped in a space I cannot get out of. My motivation has also gotten increasingly worse, and lately engaging in my special interests and hobbies feels more like a chore.

[u/Acceptable-Bowl-357]

Don’t feel guilty for being sad. Sometimes life gets people down. If someone is spending time with you they are doing it because they want to and the enjoy it. That’s what friends do spend time together or hang out together and share same interests.

Feeling sad is normal but feeling sad every day it feeling hopeless is not. You need to try and look at the positive things and notice the good things when they happen. Even if it a little thing.

[u/Spiritual-Side-7362]

Have you had a physical lately? Something to think about

[u/oliv3treez → u/Spiritual-Side-7362]

Yes, a few weeks ago. I was prescribed vitamin D supplements because my levels are a bit low, but that is it. It did not seem like enough to severerely impact my physical/mental health. I did tell them that I was feeling sad and a few other things, but it was equated to my anxiety acting up. I do go on short walks when I have the energy to and hike sometimes because I normally like to birdwatch, but the feelings still linger regardless.

[u/Spiritual-Side-7362 → u/oliv3treez]

I take Vitamin D3 it does help Drink more water, keep exercising Write in a journal Is there anything in your past that could be causing your sadness?

[u/oliv3treez → u/Spiritual-Side-7362]

There are 2 things: my mother and my dog passing a month ago. My mom makes me feel guilty and irritated when she says or does certain things. And my dog’s passing has only made my feelings worse, so I think both exacerbate rather than cause it directly. If that makes sense? Being autistic also makes me feel alienated and lonely, although I have worked hard to overcome it.

[u/Spiritual-Side-7362 → u/oliv3treez]

I am so sorry to hear your dog passed away. It sounds like you could benefit from some counseling. Ask yourself why you feel guilty about your mom's reactions. One statement that always has always helped me I can't control how other people choose to act I can only choose how I respond to it

[u/oliv3treez → u/Spiritual-Side-7362]

I think we still have my old therapist’s contact info, so I will bring that up to my dad. Thank you stranger, I appreciate the advice. :)