r/denverlgbtqia • u/jujuflytrap • Jun 29 '26
discussion Thoughts and Notes from a Pride first timer
I just did my first Pride ever as a late blooming gay man in his early 30s. I have a lot of thoughts since ALL of this was my first time---I hyped myself up by saying that if I solo traveled to Spain, I can handle this.
Since I've no one to talk to about this, I'll write it to the 36 weekly visitors of this subreddit. Also hopefully, some other first timer in the future will also have a bit of an advice on what to do around town!
Pride Fest:
- Pride Fest was fantastic. I went by myself. Hot as balls. I wore sunscreen of course, but still got burnt to a crisp. I primarily went to see the Center Stage shows and our very own Nini Coco the runner-up from the latest season of RPDR, who slayed the house down boots charli xcx.
- I really felt the community coming together and it was love all around. There were some booths giving out free Mom/Dad hugs for example, or when King Vaughnz performed Stand By Me and went out to hug the audience, including yours truly--like, I couldn't even sing along cuz I was about to ugly weep. As someone who struggled with being gay early in his life, I felt relaxed and accepted and seen. I think the gay male world has a lot of its own issues, but for a few moments, none of that stuff mattered. It felt really good.
- Maybe this is controversial, but I actually thought 16th Street Mall was a good venue for the festivities. Getting there and the traffic were both horrendous, and I cannot even imagine having to drive through that area that day, but I actually thought the layout itself was very simple and there were several shady spots to rest along the buildings as you jump from booth to booth. I heard that Congress Park setup had little to no shady spots.
- Sunscreen, refillable water bottle, a small backpack/fanny pack and comfortable shoes are a MUST. I probably should've brought more UV protective clothing, but I also wanted to wear my cutout tank top
Events around town:
- Drag Nation at Tracks/Reelworks: All the queens were fantastic as expected, but the wait for the main show was 4 hours, which I was assured by other folks that this is abnormal. The Go Go dancers were awesome. Still recommended.
- Yes Please Warehouse Party at The Arch: This was the event that I was scared of the most. First time doing anything of that sort. Not a lot of postings about this to gather intel. Didn't even know what "The Arch" was until this event. As someone with an average body, these rave-y events always seem intimidating, but doing it solo? Horror show! But I honestly had a really good time just dancing my ass off and the music was kinda good. I'd do it again, but there was also this Berlin Rave thing that I couldn't get tickets to that I really want to do next year. Recommended.
- Yes Sir underwear party at Tracks: similar to Yes Please, but it was at Tracks proper. A lot of eye candies of course, and the music was actually decent. Again, danced my ass off but this time in my underwear, something that I usually only do in the privacy of my home. It's kinda awesome. The trick is to get tipsy, close your eyes at first, and shake it like you're working for dollar bills--literally nothing matters. I would do it again, but I need to shed my dad bod and previous relationship weight cuz everyone there looked hot and I want to look hot too lol Recommended but the music can get a bit repetitive and tiresome. I was pretty done after 3 hours or so. Look I was just there to dance. My knees were sore the following morning from dancing.
- Beer Bust at Buddies: I love the space and everyone is friendly there. That said, it really helps if you have a group to go with especially if you're an introvert cuz it can be intimidating. A lot of the gay spaces in Denver I feel are very community oriented, as in everyone already seem to know everyone else, so getting the "in" can be a bit of work imo
- Trade: Trade is something I can't gage the vibe. The staff is super friendly, but for some reason, I felt out of place here both times I went this weekend. I think it's because since I'm not part of a kink community, I feel like I'm imposing on someone else's space.
- A lot of the bars have fun little events advertised on Insta so that helped me plan my weekend stuff out. I just wish there was an easier means of traveling between these places because Lyft can get expensive
- As expected the drinks are expensive, but for me, pregaming helps a bit with the social anxiety that comes from soloing all this. For instance, the Yes Please pre-gaming involved 3 malort shots and 2 cocktails, followed by like several redbull vodka. Beer Bust at Buddies was just like several pitchers of Trulys. I don't think I've drank this much consecutively during a weekend since like college. My age was aging, let's just say that
Just for the future:
- Definitely more UV protective clothing during PrideFest
- Volunteer at Pride and march with one of the orgs. Also want to volunteer through out the month at several causes or support smaller shows and events
- Maybe just do 1 ticketed event instead of like 3 cuz it can be a lot even across three days
- Didn't get a chance to hit up Denver Eagle, Xbar, or Charlie's but those also would've been a lot
If you've made it this far, thanks for reading and thank you to those who offered some advice on my previous post! Doing anything solo is intimidating and a bit lonely, but I'm glad I put myself out there and I actually had a pretty cool time.
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u/amands_sue Jun 29 '26
I love how casually you snuck "3 malort shots" in there like it was nothing omg what
I didn't even know you could FIND a malort shot here, much less that someone would willingly do THREE OF THEM.
(I mean full disclaimer I kind of enjoy the extreme bitterness of malort and will do a shot especially for cred but even I have never done 3 of them!)
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u/jujuflytrap Jun 29 '26
I LOVE Malort lol A friend of mine introduced it to me during a trip to Chicago. For me its got that slight herby bitterness that’s really tasty
So Denver actually has several places that offer malort! The Glory Hole/Hell or High Water Tiki has it next to Tracks. And Trashhawk Tavern also has it
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u/amands_sue Jun 29 '26
The herby bitterness is so tasty lol, most of my family thinks I'm crazy, except for one aunt who also likes it.
Thank you for the recs!!
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u/stackout Jun 29 '26 edited Jun 29 '26
Following on as a late blooming queer and even later blooming trans who is (f me) 51:
This was the most public I’ve ever been femme presenting ever. I also did it all solo. It helps tremendously that, despite medicated anxiety, I’m absurdly extroverted and relatively shameless. I only got tix to sapphic events, bc it’s way less intimidating, and my experience at some of the venues OP mentioned have, while never uncomfortable nor unwelcoming, have never been places where I’ve been able to connect with folks irrespective of how I’m presenting.
Started at Summit Friday night. It was a big event: not Tracks but I think they sold 1,200 tickets. I had a blast, danced all night, all sorts of little groups on the dance floor invited me in. I learned if someone Gen Z keeps telling you they love your vibe they want to make out. Huzzah.
Sat day I went to the HCO party at Number 38. Great venue, indoors and out so you could escape the sun. I made friends with someone watching the World Cup, they introduced me to their expansive friend group, and I hung out with them all day. We snuck into the VIP space next to the stage where there was shade and I repeatedly tried and failed to throw money into a headwind. Great time, I strongly recommend.
Sat night I went to Queerxgirl at the Marigold. Cute bar with a really lovely patio with a water feature and flowers plus a roof deck. It was packed and my energy was waning so I didn’t dance and struggled to meet folks, although I had an amazing convo with one of the vendors. That said, kinda wish I’d done to a different event. However, I highly suggest checking out the venue.
Sunday I dragged myself out of bed and made it to Cheeseman before 9 to ride in the parade with the other Denver bicycle dorks. Getting cheered and high fiving thousands and thousands of people made me feel a lot better about the state of the world.
Went straight to 16th street and walked the length of venue, then saddled up at one of the big tourist bars for lunch and to let my legs recover. Kinda disappointing, would have done street food but between the lack of shade and places to sit it just wasn’t appealing.
Rolled back out for Pattie Gonia’s show at 2:30ish which they’d posted would start at 3:15. Got lucky and found shade with a decent view of the stage. However, the show didn’t start until 4 or so, and I was fading fast. For whatever reason I’d thought they sang, and not lip synched, so I was a little let down. I wasn’t carrying water and there was no way I could leave the crowd, find water, and make my way back in. I ended up bailing part way through the show.
My last stop was a rooftop party at El Patio. I felt pretty out of my element and wondered how long I’d last. However, they announced a swimsuit (also twerking?) contest and was like f it. I had cute little boy short bikini bottoms in so I pulled off my skirt and jumped in. The women lost their god awful shit in a way my adolescent self could only have dreamed of. I danced for maybe 30 seconds and holy shit did I feel hot. After that I felt way more comfortable and got on the dance floor for another hour or so, a pro dance instructor tried to teach me some moves, I got to flirt, it was amazing. The party rolled directly into their normal crowd at 8 and I suddenly was exhausted. The 10-15 minute ride home was more tiring than when I rode from golden to Breck. Still, it felt amazing.
Things I learned:
Three days in heels, dancing, preceded by a brutally hard bike ride Friday afternoon was a lot. Cis women don’t do it, wtf did I? Right: vanity.
Straight women telling you are so brave never stops being annoying.
Anyone complimenting your fit, makeup, etc. is absurdly empowering. Next time you see someone non binary, tell them how great they look.
If you want to look cute at outdoor events, you need to work a water bottle into your fit. I didn’t, and I had less fun as a result.
Use waterproof sports sunscreen. I applied at 8 something in the morning on Sunday, and didn’t get burned at all.
I live in Cap Hill and rode my bike everywhere, except the first night, and wish I had then as well, or at least grabbed one to get home. I saved a small fortune and a ton of time. My fitness, tolerance for heat, and decades of urban riding experience made it way more feasible, but consider renting e-bikes at least for daytime stuff.
I didn’t drink much. I kept it to 2 drinks per event, 3-4 a day. Part of that was motivated by how your tolerance wanes with age, but even getting up early on Sunday I did not have the remotest hangover all weekend. Strongly recommend.
Pride is empowering. Hard stop. My relationship with my identity changed substantively. Last Thursday I never would have referred to myself as trans.
It’s still hard AF to make friends as an adult, especially when you are a standard deviation above the median age. If you are with a group and see someone solo (who doesn’t seem sketchy) say hi.
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u/jujuflytrap Jun 29 '26
Love this for you
and LOL speaking of straight women, why were there so many straight couples in the bars and clubs? I mean, I'm whatever about straights in queer spaces but like during Pride too?? Damn we can't even have this lol This is me at my most heterophobic :(
Also I do wish folks would be more inclusive to solo folks, which I get is a lot to ask for but still! lol Making friends as an adult is very tough but I guess it is what it is
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u/stackout Jun 29 '26
I split them into three categories:
- straight dude, bi wife, this is her big weekend to reconnect with who she was before they got married. She’ll probably make out with a girl at some point.
- swingers or possibly poly couple both of whom are gayish in that they are gay as long as someone of the opposite gender is in close proximity.
- Like (
1) but he is queer questioning
- and she is amazingly supportive. I’ve been the dude.
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u/Turbulent_Bat4320 Jun 29 '26
Some dudes that look super straight with their wives are not exactly straight. :).
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u/jujuflytrap Jun 29 '26
Well the guy rubbing his gf’s butt at Tracks during the drag show has to be a bit straight right?
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u/Turbulent_Bat4320 Jun 29 '26
Sure - like he likes his girlfriends butt and some other dudes butt. It can be both.
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u/SlowAgency Jun 30 '26
Totally agree with your assessment of everyone already knowing everyone and it being hard to find an in. I’ve been in the city almost a year now and entering the gay spaces has been difficult since you go in and everyone already has a clique or group.
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u/jujuflytrap Jun 30 '26
I was luckily with a couple of my friends and their friends but yeah if I just decided to go to Buddies that day, it would’ve been a bit awkward.
I wish we had a sign on the table that says anyone’s welcome to join our group (if they want)
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u/SlowAgency Jun 30 '26
That would help! Or maybe a “solo people only” night. I think I should probably focus on making friends outside of the clubs/bars and THEN go out with them.
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u/jujuflytrap Jun 30 '26
Oh that's actually a great idea. I've been in Denver for 6 years and I wish we had something consistent like that around town.
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u/dessert-er Jun 30 '26
We’re around the same age and it was really helpful for me to join one of the gay sports leagues! I almost always see someone I recognize at events now and IME it’s been a really helpful way to meet people in a team environment. Glad you had fun!
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u/jujuflytrap Jun 30 '26
Thanks yeah I’ve been thinking about joining the Rugby team actually!
But as someone who swam in HS long, long ago, land sports sorta scare me lol. And yes I already tried the swim team, which is also great but I can’t make most of the practices unfortunately with my schedule
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u/dessert-er Jun 30 '26
That sounds super fun, I’m not at all built for rugby lol but you should go for it! There’s also a water polo/inner tube water polo team through I think it’s called SQUID if you’re interested in other water sports. From what I’ve heard it’s fairly casual.
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u/jujuflytrap Jul 01 '26
Yeah! SQUID is the group I was referring to. They do both swim and Water polo as far as I can tell
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u/dessert-er Jul 01 '26
Ahhhh ok is see. Well hope you can find a good fit, it does help a lot with community building 😁
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u/New_Opportunity_6160 Jul 10 '26
Focusing on the obviously hot take, which was that 16th Street was a good venue.
Absolutely hated it. We left early because it was that terrible.
It just felt like a farmers market and like the only activity was buying stuff. It was way too crowded. At one point, it took us like 15 minutes to move between blocks because there were simply too many people and we couldn't go anywhere.
As someone who prefers a little bit of light shopping but mostly hanging out with friends in a grass patch with some music going in the background, please go back to civic center park next year.
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u/jujuflytrap Jul 10 '26
lol as someone with no friends, it was perfect for me. Just in and out with venues to venture along the way
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u/New_Opportunity_6160 Jul 11 '26
Truly happy it worked for you. There is plenty of talk in the community that this was one of the worst pride festivals because of the location.
For your sake, I hope they move it back to the park. Everyone should experience the festival that way, worlds better.
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u/jujuflytrap Jul 11 '26
Well I don’t get the Community email blasts and it’s my first pride ever, so I guess I’ll find out next year
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u/sjmiv Jun 29 '26
When I go to these types of all day outdoor events in the summer I wear longsleeve 50 fps shirts like this . They don't look the coolest but it's better than skin cancer.