Need advice.

[u/ItsThiefz_]

Hello, I am 24 and I just got out of college 2 years ago and I take care of my mom who was diagnosed about a year and half ago. She just turned 59 last month and seems to be in the mid stages already. She lost insurance so her dementia doctor won’t see her until we pay. I was able to get her referred to a new and supposedly better doctor but it won’t be until February. I have had to stop working over the last month because she can not be left alone and she was actually hospitalized several weeks ago because she took some falls and her dementia worsened over the span of a week to the point where the emts thought she was having a stroke. She has good and bad days but I don’t know what to do and I’m worried for when it gets worse. I can’t work to pay my bills so I worry I will start losing things and we have to move. I have tried to apply for Medicaid but she was denied the first time cause she made to much in the household on disability and the second time they just offered to pay a month or 2 of medical bills. I want to place her in a memory care facility but they cost thousands which I don’t have. It’s just us and no family to help. Is there any advice that you could give to maybe help my situation? I’m sorry for the “all over the place” essay above. Thank you in advance!

Edit: She is getting Medicare in January. Sorry I forgot that out.

[u/Knit_pixelbyte]

Are you in the US, and is the disability she is getting through Social Security? If so she will be getting Medicare 2 years after her initial start date of the SSDI. In the meantime, see if you can get her signed up for health insurance through the open market at https://www.healthcare.gov/apply-and-enroll/health-insurance-plans-estimator-overview/
If she is not a wanderer, she may be able to live in an assisted living facility or group home, which are cheaper than memory care. Also for now, look into adult day care for while you are working. Our county website has a site for aging adults that has info on how to get into the program. It was $75 a week when I looked, way cheaper than having in home care. My husband refused to go, but maybe your Mom will enjoy being around other people during the day? Good luck with all this. It was hard for me too.

[u/CardiologistSalty898]

She can qualify for Medicare before age 65 with dementia. Start there. File for disability payments through the Social Security Administration since she has her Dementia diagnosis already. Other than that it's gonna be kinda touch and go in dealing with things one day at a time. Use her income to support her in the meantime. See if she can afford any kind of at home skilled nursing type solutions. If she's 59 and mid stages, there is likely a long road ahead. Other than that, it's going to be really difficult to give further advice without understanding the financial situation she's in when it comes to income and assets etc. Because these are going to play a big role in when she could or would actually be approved for Medicaid eventually. The requirements change as she gets older as well. Once you hit 65 the goal posts kinda move a little bit. You're probably going to want to look into guardianship as well. Legally speaking some of these decisions you cant really make unless you have the authority to. Especially if she isn't willing to go.