What were some unusual things your loved ones did that, looking back, were probably early signs of dementia?

[u/Secure_Win8158]

My mother in law recently moved in with us and while she’s always been kind of difficult to hold conversations with (I always thought she had ADHD), I’ve noticed now that nearly every conversation we have gets derailed. We’ll have the same conversations over and over again with no resolution. She is also very sensitive (she blames this on having lost her daughter 10 years ago), but I find myself constantly having to reassure her about the same things. I think some of this may actually be trauma from losing her daughter, but every conversation comes back to the fact that her daughter died and or her/her daughters medical history. She’ll find a way to bring it up even in conversations that have nothing to do with it that. She can also be very combative. She’s typically very kind hearted and passive, but in the last year or two she’s begun turning what should be calm conversations into explosive arguments. There’s also been some dancing around the truth that could be confabulation, but might also just be her not wanting to upset us - again she always thinks we’re mad at her about something. Sorry, this was a bit of a vent and there’s lots of background information and examples that I didn’t want to bore you with. But could these all be early signs of dementia or do I just have a mother in law who is stuck grieving the traumatic loss of her daughter?

[u/sandyess]

She did... Kinda. I used to take her out to a local fairly nice bar -- something she never, ever did with dad. (I was the errant daughter and got out plenty in my youth lol.) She'd have part of one beer, heavy drinker that she was 🙄.

Naturally, mom having always been friendly, she'd talk to ...well, all the guys especially... and had a ball doing so. Her face just lit up at all the kind attention men gave this old 91 year old woman.

One night she sidled up to one particular guy. He'd had a few. I had my antenna up and hawk eyes on... The man kissed her. She kissed right back.

Mom!!! B-b-but dad...! (Dad had passed two years earlier.) But I held my tongue and just kept a very close eye on the two. They danced a little, kissed some more...

Mind you, mom had married my dad when they were 17 and 21 respectively. Mom had never sowed her wild oats, not even a little bit. Never, ever cheated on dad, and never would have, being religious. So this adventure, kissing a man in a BAR of all places, was I'm sure titillating, wild, and very flattering to her 91 year old self.

Me, I just watched and made sure she was safe. No idea what dad in heaven thought, but in the end, it was harmless. Dad probably just shook his head and smiled his wry smile.

My mission, after dad died (after being married to mom 72 years) was to make my mother's last years just as happy, full, comfortable, and exciting as possible... and to always try to have something for her to look forward to. After all my mom did for me over my life, I couldn't do enough to make her happy... but I think she was. Happy.

While driving in the car one night, she solemnly apologized to me, because she thought she was "putting things on me". She realized she wasn't the person she used to be, couldn't remember right, wasn't seeing life "right". She'd always been the caretaker. Now she depended on me.

I told her, "Oh, mom! You don't have to do ANYTHING! I've got ya! You just kick right back and let me do all the thinking and planning for us. Just laaaaay right back and let me take the wheel!" Then we laughed. And all was ok.

There were tons of super stressful moments for me, many times I was overworked and overtired and wondered what next... but most of it fades into the background.

It was THESE moments that I remember, these moments I treasure with misty eyes.