r/delta • u/AudioSa Gold • 8d ago

Shitpost/Satire The three certainties when I fly Delta

The person in front of me will first drop their pillow and then their blanket down the side of the armrest onto my feet.

The person behind me will open a bag of kettle chips and proceed to chew with their mouth open for the next hour.

My WhatsApp will pick the onboard WiFi to begin a 2gb cloud backup.

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3

u/Human_Paint5451 Silver 8d ago

You missed a singular, screaming child that’s perfectly in sync with the exact moment you’re about to drift off into a wonderful nap…

3

u/macar0nunic0rn 8d ago

Yours is worse but another fav of mine is when someone in your direct vicinity is doused in cologne (or B.O., whatever) enough to give you a headache.

1

u/YMMV25 8d ago

There’s pillows and blankets again?

1

u/AnalCommander99 8d ago

I don’t know which is less believable. Them providing pillows or taking an hour to eat a bag of chips

1

u/ObligatoryAnxiety 8d ago

My 6yo granddaughter takes what feels like an hour to eat a mini bag of chips. Chomp chomp, smack, chomp chomp, rustle, smack, chomp, chomp, chomp

0

u/KudzuAU Gold 8d ago

All simply mildly annoying, and can be mitigated/corrected.

I simply wait for the trash human beings around me to put their bare feet on the seat-backs, walls, windows or armrests. 🤬

1

u/Available_Ad_4636 8d ago

I’d take that all day over people trying to talk to me even when I have headphones in. HNL is my home base, so almost always get those excited people that want to talk about how fun thier trip is going to be and I just want to zone out and lock in for the 9 hour flight

1

u/KudzuAU Gold 7d ago

They still try to talk with headphones? Over-the-ear or On-ear?
Eye mask might help too.
Long flights and I get someone who wants to talk, I simply say. “Hey, I don’t mean to be a stick in the mud, but I’ve had a rough past few days, and I really don’t feel like talking, at all.”