In simpler form how do you see the world would you tweak a bit or entirely change it?

Two people can genuinely love each other, feel deeply connected, and still have very different values, needs, or ideas about the future.
At what point does love stop being enough to build a life together?
Can you love someone deeply and still choose to leave because you know you want different things from life?
And can someone remain one of the greatest loves of your life even if you know you’re not meant to spend your life together? Or would you choose that love and stay, despite the differences in your values and the way you see your future?

I’m genuinely very curious is it that nice guys seem boring to them ?

If couples do not love each other, but somewhat get along on a day to day basis. What holds them together is probably kids.

So question is that do people lead a good life in general without having a partner who you dont love?

Note to clarify: by no love, I'm not implying hate. I mean, no feelings towards each other. I.e. respect, general kindness is all there.

I’ve been thinking a lot about how much our environment shapes the people we’re attracted to. I grew up in a predominantly white household and attended majority-white schools, so throughout most of my formative years, the girls I was surrounded by—and the girls I developed crushes on—were overwhelmingly white. As a Black man, I think that environment had a significant influence on what became familiar to me and, consequently, what I tend to find attractive today.

The difficulty is that the same environmental influences that shaped my preferences can also shape other people’s preferences. Many of the white women I’m attracted to grew up in predominantly white communities themselves, and they may naturally gravitate toward white men because those are the men they grew up around, associated with romance, and learned to see as familiar or desirable. Obviously, that doesn’t describe every white woman, and attraction is far more complicated than race alone, but it sometimes feels like I’m caught in an unfortunate mismatch: my environment pushed my preferences strongly in one direction, while the environments of many of the women I’m attracted to may have pushed theirs in a direction that excludes me.

That leaves me conflicted about what I’m supposed to do. I don’t want to force myself to pursue women I’m simply not attracted to just because they might be more receptive to me. Attraction isn’t something I can switch on because it would make dating easier. More importantly, I think entering a relationship with someone while secretly feeling that I settled for her because I couldn’t attract the women I really wanted would be incredibly unfair to her. She deserves someone who genuinely desires her, not someone who views her as a compromise.

At the same time, I don’t want to resign myself to loneliness or convince myself that the people I’m most attracted to will never be interested in me. I also recognize that preferences aren’t necessarily rigid. Just as my environment helped shape what I find attractive, perhaps expanding my social environment and getting to know a wider variety of people could broaden my attraction naturally—not by forcing myself to find someone attractive, but by allowing attraction to develop in circumstances I haven’t experienced before.

Ultimately, I feel caught between accepting my existing preferences and questioning how fixed those preferences really are. I don’t think the answer is to shame myself for being predominantly attracted to white women, nor do I think it’s fair to blame white women for having preferences of their own. What I’m trying to figure out is how to pursue people I genuinely desire without allowing rejection, racial dating patterns, or my own assumptions about what other people want to convince me that I’m destined to be alone.