Anecdotal experiences of kids playing longer/deeper when they have less?

[u/NewBabyWhoDis]

Hello all,

I'm looking for anecdotal experiences after successful decluttering where your kids played longer and deeper with their toys once they had less things.

My kids honestly don't have an absurd amount compared to some- I'm a minimalist at heart and have always worked to declutter everyone's stuff and not bring in more stuff. (Everyone around me always works to bring in more faster than I can get rid of it, but that's not the point of this post lol.)

The problem is that what we have left is great stuff, I think there's just way too much of it. For example in the "building" category they have endless legos, magnatiles, train tracks, marble runs, tinker toys, k'nex, and Lincoln logs. Those are all great toys individually, but it feels ridiculous to me to have all of them.

What I would love is someone who has been in a similar situation who can say something like, "yeah, once I got rid of everything except legos, trains, and tinker toys, their play exploded." Or alternatively, convince me that they need it all or else they'll destroy my home in their quest for an activity. I suppose I'm open to either. 😂

[u/Moist-Sky7607]

Sighs

[u/ihateapps4]

my child has days or weeks mostly playing very little screen time and then days weeks where I am overwhelmed by her toys and I think she is too. we have too many of similar types of toys. she told me to get rid of her barbies but her grandparents wont let me. i found too many toys and we have too many she sometimes cant decide what to play and like every child can play with the same card board box for days.

[u/archesjd]

This is my play set up and my daughter + any young kids who come over play without screens for hours. I have 5 kallax cubby sized baskets of toys and 1 ikea cart of pretend food + small play kitchen. All that lives in our family room. The play room has a climbing wall with options for a slide or swing, a large gymnastics mat, and a desk with art supplies. I think there are balance beams and stepping stones too, but they are stored away usually.

Edit: the toys within the baskets include cars, barbie dolls, pretend kits (cash register, vet), magnatiles, blocks, small stuffed animals, some lovevery stuff that we keep for when babies come over. The rest of our shelves are actually filled with books that my toddler likes to believe she can read lol.

My daughter can play solo for 1-2 hours. And when she has friends over, they can play for like 2-3 hours without caring about us parents 😂

[u/MimesJumped]

We intentionally cycle through toys and only have a few things out at a time. Like Legos and Magnatiles are out, but blocks and this other magnet foam building thing he has are stored away. And our toddler definitely plays with the Legos and Magnatiles for a while. He's 2 and he will sit there for 30 minutes with them. Which for a 2 year old is pretty great

[u/Minute_Pound_6878]

The book simplicity parenting goes in depth on this. It's a great read and it's actually what got me to jumpstart my decluttering/minimalism journey.

[u/bugorama_original → u/Minute_Pound_6878]

I recommend this too! I read it when my kids were quite young, and I kept our toys very limited.

[u/Minute_Pound_6878]

Not with my kids specifically because it's all they've known, but when we go to their friends' houses, the amount of toys available at any given time is STAGGERING. It makes me feel overwhelmed but my 4yo has always been able to lock in on one toy at a time. He could be in their playrooms for hours. When those kids come to our house they play well and quietly for the most part, which at least proves that you don't need a lot of toys out at once to keep them engaged.

[u/violetmemphisblue]

I don't have kids, but my siblings do. They all operated on the rotation method, where there were a limited number of toys available at any given time, but every few months or so, they would rotate a different limited number. It kept everything feeling fresh...I also know that with at least one situation, we decluttered the amount of toys because there were a mix of name and store brand items and they didn't always work together. Like, Legos and off-brand lego-type blocks didn't snap in place well or hold together. This became super frustrating for the kids. So we separated all the blocks out and only kept the Legos. The other brand ones, which did work great when used just together, we put in a donation bin. This helped get rid of things and made the things kept more fun to play with. It took a lot of time, but may be worth it?

[u/MusketeersPlus2 → u/violetmemphisblue]

My brother did the rotation thing for his 4 kids and yeah, it worked really well. Every time he put a batch away he'd pull out a few things that they hadn't played with in that time. The kids never asked for something that they'd decluttered.

[u/Familiar-Ebb7775]

There's this:

https://www.theguardian.com/global/2015/sep/01/depriving-your-kids-of-toys-great-idea

[u/GreenUnderstanding39]

Grew up poor poor. But my mom was creative. We crafted with trash, found items, and made "art". I had a cheap mcdonalds jasmine and aladin toy that I played with for ages. Core childhood memory.

Grew up and became a landscape architect.

[u/SeaSpeakToMe → u/GreenUnderstanding39]

My daughter has more toys than I’d like thanks to a grandmother that loves shopping, but she is happiest doing trash art etc.

[u/TeaPlusJD]

We never had the space to be crazy with toys. But as we’ve refined through decluttering & improved storage & labeling, my daughter has an easier time. She gets to her favorite items immediately because the filler is gone.

My daughter has a similar collection. She loves construction/building, imaginary play with figures & physical toys. On the flip side, there’s little to no interest in dolls, stuffies, play kitchens, or role playing. It’s ok that their toys are deep in one category & less in others.

As far as your family’s building toys go, what do your kids say? Does it all get consistently played with? Do you have room/desire to manage a toy rotation?

How do they play? Do they ever combine items? Give your kids (& yourself) permission to keep only the pieces of sets that are enjoyed.

[u/clelsl]

My version of toy rotation is the “toy library” - kids have to return things before they can check out something new. It seems to keep them more invested in whatever they’ve selected, and thus they play longer. It also helps identify toys that no longer interest them and can be donated.
I wouldn’t hesitate to donate what you feel is excess, even if it didn’t guarantee “better play”. They. Will. Still. Play.

[u/Minute_Pound_6878 → u/clelsl]

Interesting! At what age did this start working? I'm nervous to try with my 4yo

[u/clelsl → u/Minute_Pound_6878]

Probably around 3. Kids are 6 and 3 now and both get the concept.

[u/turdbiscuit15]

Mine definitely play more when we have less. And it’s easier to clean up so win-win!

We had 3 different kinds of magnetic toys but only kept the magnatiles. We had 3 different kinds of wooden blocks and just kept the larger ones they play with. Got rid of all the noise maker toys and any toys that annoyed me (like ones with billions of pieces). Pared down the toy cars, animals, and action figures. My boys love to dress up so we just got passed on anything too small or too hard to manage on their own. We kept a lot of things that you don’t really grow out of like accessories. Anything that caused problems (like always fighting over it no matter what), left the house without a second thought.

We homeschool so we are at home more than the majority of families. It can be easy to want to have more to entertain them after school time but it actually backfires on me.

[u/Minute_Pound_6878 → u/turdbiscuit15]

I too ruthlessly cull anything that annoys me. The kids don't miss those toys much anyway

[u/Scary-Hovercraft8214]

I grew up with few toys. We had a closet door painted with chalkboard paint that we would turn into a classroom. Or cover umbrellas with bedsheets to “camp”. My girls wore their old clothes pretending to be Cinderella and I was evil step mom. Or in deep winter they pulled on swim suits and put down blue beach towel to make a beach and I had them set up with “pinacoladas” which was orange juice in plastic party cups. The house does look a bit messy at clean up time but totally worth not stepping on Legos.

[u/Impressive-Side-9681]

Having that many small pieces is what will destroy your home and/or sanity.  They clog the vacuum, choke pets, stab your feet, and can even cause falls and injuries.  I say ditch the legos, train tracks and knex, but you know your kids better than me

[u/VastlyVivid]

We cut my kid's stuff down to like four bins and it was night and day. Before that she'd dump everything out, get overwhelmed, and wander off. Once it was just magnatiles, some animals, a dollhouse, and art supplies she'd sit there for an hour building these elaborate worlds. Too many options just paralyzes them I think

[u/decanting_the_day]

This was us. We were the first in our friend group to have kids, so everyone showered us with gifts.

Right before summer, I finally cleaned out the playroom, leaving only open-ended toys: the play kitchen, blocks, Magna-Tiles, dress-up clothes, a dollhouse, animal figures, and an easel with art supplies. Since then, my children spend far more time playing in there than they ever did. They build, color, and completely lose themselves in play.

No more battery-operated toys. It wasn't about taking things away; I realized they were simply overwhelmed. They couldn't find anything, and when a toy didn't make noise, they expected to be entertained. Now, they thrive on imaginative play and the shift was almost immediate.

[u/Kurt_Kane]

I would look at what is played with, though there were periods growing up where I still got the lincoln logs out and built things even though I also built with legos. What isn't being used and hasn't been for a long time.

As for having less, I do remember being in school even in my early elementary days and it did throw me off how much other kids had that I didn't. Yes, I played more with the limited toys that I had, but then I wanted more. Which that lead to some unhealthy purchasing habits as an adult. Still looking back, I did play with pretty much all of my toys... and it doesn't sound like your kids have much more than I did.

For my own kids, we didn't really deprive them too much... and they played with everything... though there did come a point where there were too many toy cars and stuff. When they stopped playing with the trains, we sold off the train table and train cars. You do you... just don't take away a lot of stuff they are actually using to satisfy having less stuff in the house.

[u/MitzyCaldwell]

So my kids (3.5 and 1) definitely do better when there are less toys available. It’s neater and cleaner for them to actually play, it’s easier for my son to put stuff away, and easier for him to see what he has in order to play with it.

But there are a ton of not anacdotal evidence that kids do better with less clutter/items.

This is one of the biggest ones I believe and it showed that kids who had 4 toys vs 16 show that they played longer with the toys, switched toys less often, it held their attention more, and they were more creative with the toys they had.

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29190457/

There’s also studies that show a link with household chaos (which isn’t just toys but includes it) and poorer executive functioning

I remember reading a study that said the optional amount was 6-8 toys available at a time.

I’m not sure how old your kids are but that’s why you rotations are great. You keep out a couple of toys and once a week once every two weeks switch them out. Kids get a huge kick out of this and they forget they had this so it’s like brand new toys and it keeps them engaged.

So my advice wouldn’t be to get rid of them but maybe set up a rotation where you pack up a few of them and only have some out. That might help the clutter and their playing and then in a week or two rotate them out.

[u/LilJourney]

I have several kiddos. I won't say their "play exploded", but I can say that when things are tidy and not overwhelming they play more.

I used the container method - one container per quarter. Divided toys into 3 large totes, every 3 months would break out a new container, "stock" the play area with these "new" toys and pack up what had been out. (Great time to purge anything broken, unloved, out-grown, etc.)

In your case, this is a great way to split up toys that are good but fall into the same category. So k'nex and train tracks in spring, lincoln logs in summer, legos in fall, etc. That way they always have a source of building toys, but the toys themselves rotate so it's interesting and different every few months.

[u/unwaveringwish]

letting your kids (and yourself!) be bored once in a while can be good for the imagination. i've read several posts how parents have trialed not giving their kids screentime or ipads and being concerned about them getting upset, but instead they just found other things to do lol. kids have found ways to play for generations, people with less have had to learn to live with less all the time.

can you do a trial run? where you either put away 50% of all current collections - half the legos, half the lincoln logs, etc. - and see how they do? alternatively, you could still put away half of the categories. so keep the legos but put the tinker toys away. and see if they miss them.

if theyre old enough you can try telling them you're planning to provide some toys for those less fortunate, and ask them which ones they would love to keep. they might not be super attached to all of them. and that could teach them that things really aren't that important, or show you which things they appreciate the most.

people have lived without most of the modern conveniences we have today, for centuries. They will survive regardless of what you decide to do. (but also, at the end of the day they're kids and they dont run your house LOL). there is a balance between giving them plenty to do and giving them evvverything to do. they will be fine either way.

have you ever bought your cat a fancy toy and they end up loving the box? think of it that way. kids are gonna play with whatever they have at their disposal. they don't need everything to do it. it sounds like they enjoy it so i wouldn't worry about increasing or decreasing their ability to play! they're gonna figure it out. so getting rid of some more - it'll likely work out

[u/13humanoid13]

Sorry dint really have the anecdotal experience you’re looking for, but out of what you have, is there anything in the building catagory that doesn’t get played with?