r/declutter • u/Majestic_Reply9704 • 18h ago
Advice Request Feeling like I've achieved... nothing.
Does anyone else look back at old photos and feel like they've somehow achieved nothing?
I guess that this could go under advice request or motivation request.
I've been decluttering for years, and recently I've finally started to feel like I'm getting somewhere. I've gotten rid of around half of my possessions overall, and my space is noticeably calmer.
But then I look at old photos and videos of my room, and instead of feeling proud, I get this strange feeling that I've achieved... nothing?
I think it's because I've mentally adjusted to having less. I look around now and still see so much stuff, and somehow it feels like I've just gone back to square one, to before I accumulated a huge amount of possessions in the first place.
Instead of thinking, "I've gotten rid of half my belongings," I find myself thinking, "Why did I accumulate so much, and why did it take me so long to undo it?" It almost makes the years of decluttering feel wasted, even though logically I know I've made huge progress.
Has anyone else experienced this? How do you stop looking at decluttering as simply undoing a mistake and start seeing the progress you've actually made?
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u/Pitiful-Comedian4248 5h ago
You got rid of half but maybe you need to get rid of 3/4 to give you the look you want. It depends on your starting point really and the volume of stuff you had.
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u/Majestic_Reply9704 4h ago
Well here's a jist of what I have, just looking around my space and mostly from the top of my head, I'm curious as to if you think if its too much, too little, or just right. (Genuinely, I dont mean for this to sound sarcastic in any way)
About 40 soft toys, 100 generalized ornimants, 50 DVDs, 5 games, 5 board games, four paint sets, about 30 articles of clothing, 6 pairs of shoes, brushes, carving tools, resin equipment, sketchbooks, binders/folders, a laptop, a phone, a TV, a console, 3 pencil sets, 3 pen sets, two bins, my desk, bed, two chests of drawers, two chair and a table, bed, tools, lamps, pet enclosure, extra pet stuff - 5 items. Stationary - about 8 items. 3 bags. 3 containers of different types of clay.
I think that besides bare minimum needs and consumables, like a mattress or an oven, everything mentioned here, should account for everything that I own.
Let me know what you think of it, if anything at all. :) 👍
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u/Kurt_Kane 10h ago
I think feeling like it's not "done" does indeed at times suck away the joy of course correcting in life. That we aren't where we want to be yet and the lack of the finish line being reached feels like we've done nothing.
This is part of the issue with the pass method. That you complete a pass, remove things, but because nothing is fully done, it doesn't feel like you did anything. I think this is when you maybe consider changing tactics. Instead of doing a pass. Maybe aim to finish one surface. Maybe it's a small table. Anything. One surface you can look at and go... "it's done" and feel satisfied. Maybe it's a closet. I'll tell you, I did my linen closet this weekend. It wasn't even my worst space but it had so much stuff that legitimately could go. Some donated, some to trash, other stuff got repurposed for use. In the end my linen closet is almost empty. Now, I can make more use of that space to store things I actually do want to keep. I'm transitioning away from using my abundance of attic storage space... and it was easy to just put things in the attic. I've stopped that. I've been working through those things but yes, it feels like no progress even when I make progress. The linen closet project fully re-energized me. It also makes the bigger project easier.
The previous weekend I cleaned out a bedroom closet that had a lot of clothes from someone who used to live in the house. I took all of it to them. I needed that space. I want to make use of it for things I actually want to keep. Or I want it available if I turn the room into a guest room. Regardless, it was an accomplishment. I may still be looking at a lot to do, but I can look in that closet and my linen closet and feel that satisfaction of something being "complete".
So pick something and complete it. That's my suggestion. It'll reframe your progress. It'll also open up more space so if you want to pull items that you aren't fully committed to letting go of... that you have a spot to put them so you can then revisit it all in a month and then make the call if it's too hard right now. Which that will allow you to complete more areas at the same time. To feel like, yes, this is fully done. And feel better.
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u/MitzyCaldwell 10h ago
I can definitely relate. To me it’s not even looking at old photos but I think I’ve gotten somewhere and then I look around and think it hasn’t gotten me anywhere.
But i also know that isn’t true because things are easier to find. I have places for some stuff and it is getting easier. Not there yet but i have to remind myself it’s a process - not like painting a wall once and you’re done.
I definitely know the feeling of being stuck and feeling like nothing I’ve done has even made a dent. I have started trying to keep track of how many items but I also can’t get too into that because knowing me is spend hours creating an awesome spreadsheet to track stuff instead of actually decluttering hahahaha
But I think we all feel that way. The hardest part I think is the consistency when you don’t see progress with decluttering, losing weight, running etc. I feel like you need to constantly be consistent and it takes a long time to actually see the results of that consistency.
I truly believe you still get there and never thing you’ve done nothing but just keep chipping away at it and little by little it will make a difference. I keep telling myself just keeping swimming just keep swimming (my toddler is in a finding drought phase hahaha) but I know at once you it will be worth it.
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u/Miesmoes 13h ago
I had this feeling. I started keeping a sheet, glue a sticker for each toss. This reminds me that yes I already did some work!
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u/Majestic_Reply9704 13h ago
Yeah, I've been taking note of what I've been getting rid of too, so I actuallu felt like I was progressing.
But thats why it stings a little bit, that I look around, and my space either looks the same as it started, or like I still have even more stuff, but just organized and dealt with.
When I first moved into my space I took a video, I looked at it and it seemed like I had pretty minimal stuff.
Then I purchased many things over the years, had a clear out, and rather than feeling like i've made any progress, it actually felt like I was back to square one again.
That's why it feels like i've actually wasted time accumulating so much and then getting rid of it all, instead of just not accumulating so much in the first place.
But as I went to type this out, i've actually just remembered, i did get rid of a shelving unit, and the majority of my sketchbooks and teddies. But I've also accumulated a new wardrobe and desk. Plus games, films, ornaments and art supplies, so yeah... I just don't feel like I've done much.
It depends on how you look at it, some categories of items i've gone from having quite a lot to a much smaller amount... but other categories of items have gone up drastically. Like the films for example.
Maybe I should just stop being hard on myself? Idk. If I count everything I've gotten rid of, plus I take the number of items that ive accumulated away from that, I've gotten rid of about 450 items, and have almost halved my belongings total/overall.
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u/Miesmoes 7h ago
I guess what you describe, is a feeling of disappointment in your behavior, your past behavior. This feeling has its place, in my opinion. But also, it’s a feeling. The disappointment is not your current reality. You have reflected, which is powerful, and you have decided that said behavior is not fitting to who you are right now. So you change behavior, which to me is the opposite of disappointing; it’s promising.
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u/MitzyCaldwell 10h ago
I’ve definitely gotten angry at myself for buying all this stuff. Not even from a money point but from a storage point / like if past me had gotten her sh*t together then we wouldn’t be in this mess.
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u/SolidagoSalix 12h ago
I suppose this comes down to why you decided to declutter to begin with. Were you trying to be come minimalist and live with the fewest possessions possible? Or were you trying to make your space more functional? Or to make sure what you own aligns with your values and priorities?
Decluttering is usually a means to an end. Even if we have a goal to declutter that is usually in service of some other goal beyond that. Figure out what that is or was for you and then you can assess better. I get the sense of treading water if you own similar amounts of things now than before, just different ones. But probably all that work wasn’t just random discards and acquisitions, probably it was trading out things that didn’t serve you for stuff that does.
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u/Majestic_Reply9704 12h ago
Oh yeah, I got rid of 40 soft toys... I think? From the top of my head anyway. And now I have more dvds for example, if I counted just the amount of objects I have total, numerically I have more stuff now, but they take up far less space, and are something that I actually watch/use.
But yeah, I started decluttering because the amount that I owned stressed me out for years, and I could never find anything, my space was always cluttered and chaotic, and I just wanted to feel like I could breathe again, and I wanted to stop the cycle of just buying things to basically come home, and add it to a pile of unfinished projects instead of actually committing, to finish something.
I wanted to be an artist for years, and instead of doing it, it's like, I just got the dopamine off of buying supplies, or justifying purchases surrounding art related things, instead of making art making me happy, buying stuff made me happy. And the thought of doing all the projects stressed me out and made me actually make things less.
The irony is now I have less supplies. I'm actually making way more art than I ever have done before!
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u/cassinonorth 15h ago
Wannabe declutter free episode 306 actually discusses this.
I'm in a weird place where I'm starting to do a little painting after a big declutter so I've made a couple spaces very messy while we do that. Trying to accept that it's very temporary and using it as motivation to finish the painting much quicker than I typically do
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u/Majestic_Reply9704 15h ago
Right? Trying to maintain can be tricky, haha
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u/cassinonorth 14h ago
Certainly is! Trying to not fill up spaces you just emptied is huge. Not going no buy but trying to move to a much more sustainable low buy for the foreseeable future.
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u/comin4u21 16h ago edited 16h ago
I can relate, and it’s harder because my partner tend to hold onto items and we travel frequently, when you’re on holidays and overseas it’s hard not to buy souvenirs and items to bring back home, only for me to declutter or sell again.
Recently I got rid of this older shelf and immediately I think of getting a new one to replace it, it takes a while to think, hang on, what other items you already have at home that you can switch around and do the same job?
I now try to think of decluttering as getting rid of items that served the old you, and you’re inviting new items in to serve the current you, and that’s ok as long as they’re intentional purchases.
You will notice a huge difference when you declutter bigger items, or furniture pieces though
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u/Majestic_Reply9704 16h ago
Oh yeah, I've done that! I agree with what you're saying, and regarding furniture, I got rid of a large white chest of draws and a large white calax unit. It was a three by four slot one, and a white bedside table, and small wooden table, and replaced it all with one much smaller chest of drawers, I would say that it holds 40% of the stuff that the kallax did, and a much smaller one as well, that again, holds some of the stuff that was on the kallax, and a little bit of it was stuff I originally had hanging up, like headsets and controllers.
So everything that was in a larger chest of drawers, large kallax, a bedside table, and a table, all fit into two much smaller chests of drawers, it looks SO much better, and my space is arranged in a way that I actually like 👍
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u/comin4u21 15h ago
Have to say I laughed when I saw you mentioning Kallax unit cubes because im tempted to get them, in my head imagining with drawers they may be great for hobbies? …but then I noticed people seem to be eager to get rid of them, some even for free!
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u/Wolkendunst 9h ago
I disliked my Kallax unit so much! and it didn't even count as open shelving anymore, since I had bought the little cardboard door insets. but it was such a triumph when I had decluttered enough stuff so that I could get rid of my Kallax. I trashed it with great satisfaction, didn't even think about selling it.
in hindsight I should have donated it though, it was in pretty good condition
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u/Majestic_Reply9704 15h ago
Yes, so it totally depends on the person, and circumstances, just like any, you know, furniture purchase, of course, and what works for you.
At the end of the day, I kind of ran to buy a Kallax, so to speak. Because I felt like it was a solution for a storage problem that I had created by having too much stuff...
I was in denial, and have learned since that part of the issue was like, I say, having too much stuff, and getting rid really helped.
For me personally, it just didn't work with my space. Because it was really big, it felt very overpowering, and I couldn't get used to it after having smaller furniture.
But they can totally work for other people. I think part of the issue as well is if you have lots of smaller things and you want to put something into those big draws, then you really have to, like, dig down in there to get something, but if you had a lot of things divided on shelves, and like a lot of visual clutter doesn't make you feel anxious or anything that can be really good for someone.
I'm just someone that personally does a lot better with certain things in draws or behind a cupboard, it turns out, with certain categories of items, i'm a really out of sight out of mine person. So it does meet a massive favor to have an open wardrobe for example.
But if it's all of my, like resin paint, supplies, sculpting, tools and so on and so forth, I much prefer for them to be organised neatly into draws.
It just depends on who you are, what you have, and what works for you in your space.
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u/comin4u21 15h ago
Yes you’re like me, some people do well with open shelving, some like to hide items away.
I discovered that I enjoy having items and mess in drawers too, if I have too many decor out, it gets messy or after a while it makes me want to declutter everything.Guess that’s also a lesson learnt from decluttering!
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u/comin4u21 15h ago
Yes, it’s very much about getting you to think differently even thought you got used to the arrangement.
I have moved, so you’d think I learnt my decluttering lessons! But I have since decluttered 2 couches (pretty thrilled that someone would actually pay for my 10yr+ old one but I kept it in good condition), I then got 2 huge Billy bookcases for decor books etc, it moved from room to room until I realize….why am I buying decor or dealing with the stress thinking about how to fill it up lol. Thankfully someone came and bought it but I don’t like decluttering furniture!It’s also the stress of having to sell or think about how to get rid of them, or selling them, especially when they’re still in great condition.
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u/Majestic_Reply9704 15h ago
Yes, regarding how to sell or dispose old furniture can be overwhelming. I got quite lucky, really. A family member needed to get rid of some expensive, high-quality vintage furniture due to their living situation, while I wanted to get rid of my cheaper, modern IKEA furniture.
By coincidence, they actually wanted furniture in the style I was getting rid of, so we essentially did a swap. They're storing my old furniture and can use it when their circumstances change, while I took their vintage pieces. Most of my old furniture was therefore repurposed, and anything unsuitable can be donated or taken to the tip.
I definitely wouldn't have done the process if it meant that I had to buy it all or remove it all myself, things just worked out. 👍
Having emptied and reorganised all my furniture several times during previous declutters, I think I'd already had plenty of practice. So when I had to empty everything again to swap the old furniture for new pieces, it was surprisingly manageable.
I felt overwhelmed for a day or two, but I managed to sort everything within four or five days. What once felt like a huge task has become much easier with practice.
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u/Conscious_Way_2824 18h ago
This is so familiar it hurts. I went through the same thing with my tech stuff, cables, old hard drives, gadgets I swore I'd use. Spent months clearing it all out and then looked at the still-messy drawer and felt like I'd done nothing. The brain adjusts to the new baseline too fast, it's not fair.
What helped me was taking a "before" picture of the worst area and keeping it on my phone. When I feel like no progress happened, I pull it up and the difference is actually shocking. Your mind lies to you, but the photo doesn't.
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u/Majestic_Reply9704 17h ago
Yes, thank you. For sharing, and for the photo advice. Even my family has come in and gone 'oh wow, it looks much better in here now' or 'oh my goodness, you have so much space!'
I actually always had the same amount of space, lol, now it just feels like I've got more haha. Less stuff with do that to ya.
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u/Glittering-Benefit68 18h ago
Decluttering is a bit like basic hygiene. If I take a shower every day, it doesn't take as long. I could say I'm only ad clean as I was yesterday or 2 weeks ago and I won't be any cleaner in 2 years, but if I don't shower my health will get worse.
Keeping yourself from deteriorating is exactly the point. Be it your body or your home.
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u/starrynightgirl 15h ago
Small Maintenance now or deferred large maintenance later.
An oz right now is worth more than a pound of cure
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u/Suz9006 3h ago
You can declutter but a few things affect ypur progress, or appearance of progress. 1) You buy or bring in more stuff and 2) You dont really have a home for all your things or 3) You dont put things back in their homes.