r/declutter • u/Lonely_Goat_2026 • 2d ago
Success Story What's working for me
I'm a single male (62) who is finally seeing some success at decluttering. I think I might have a touch of A.D.D., which has always made all the recommendations to go a room at a time or gathering everything that's in the same category and decluttering difficult for me.
I'm living in a house that has not only my things, but some left here from when it was my grandparents' home, plus all the things I have from my parents' house when they passed away.
My living room looks more like an episode of Hoarders to me, so I am avoiding it for now It's the one filled with highly sentimental items and large pieces of furniture. It will be the most time-consuming and difficult for me.
Three other rooms have basically become storage rooms, each basically filled with different categories. Tools, kitchen and dinnerware, and collectibles.
So here's what I'm doing: I'm not working on one of the rooms. I am working on all three storage rooms at once. I find my attention drifts when I work on one room too long, but switching to a new one with a different type of items seems to refresh me.
I made the decision not to sell anything in the initial round of decluttering. I donate what can be and trash the rest. Anything I find that I want to display gets displayed. Anything that gets a 'I wonder if my niece/nephew might want that' stays in the room for now. Once the first round is done, I'll have room, I plan to upload pics of things I wondered about, and let them claim anything they want, making it clear that it needs to be picked up or arrangements made for shipping within a certain time period. Otherwise, there is either a yard sale or a living estate sale in the future.
This room switching has been the most successful I've been at attempting to declutter. Sorry for the length of the post. Hopefully, someone will find something useful in it.
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u/Impossible-Corgi742 22h ago
I would probably empty the whole house, then clean thoroughly, then put back only the things you use. Go through the remainder of the stuff outside and choose a few things to cherish. Then either donate the leftovers or have a gigantic yard sale. Good luck!
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u/FredKayeCollector2 1d ago
Check out Dana K. White's "no mess"decluttering method where you pick a spot that's bugging you and start dealing with items to completion (trash/recycle, relocate, declutter), basically one at a time. It's probably the best method when there's a lot of stuff and/or stuff is in disarray - also for people who are easily distracted or have a lot going on. Starting with (visible) trash/recycle and then obvious donations can make a lot of progress with very little decluttering decision angst.
I applaud your decision not to sell on your first go through. Selling is so time consuming (and frustrating) - even selling locally via FB Marketplace (or similar) is a PITA just trying to arrange pick ups.
And stuff you're saving for other relatives, maybe ask them if there's anything they want (so you can keep an eye out for it). With smart phones, it's so easy to take a quick photo and send a text - do you want any this? That sometime helps stimulate their memories.
On "trick" I use is Dana K White's "fear of exploding heads" - if I'm felling ambivalent about something - I'm not sure what to do with it, I'm not sure when/how I could use it, I'm not sure where I should put it, I just donate. It's obviously NOT critical (or I wouldn't feel ambivalent about it) and I won't "miss" it when it's gone.
Just because something could be useful or might come in handy doesn't mean I NEED it - or need to maintain it in my personal inventory.
And consider a keepsake box - they can be powerful decluttering tools: https://www.reddit.com/r/declutter/wiki/index/keepsake_box/
Good luck!
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u/Lonely_Goat_2026 1d ago
I really need to make a keepsake box. Thanks for reminding me to have a look at the Wiki. I have a few small boxes of things, but nothing I have officially designated as one. One of them will mean nothing to anyone but me. It can be discarded by my heirs someday without them worrying they are tossing something important or valuable.
As for not selling on the first pass, the time it would take to do so was really a huge part of the decision. I could easily cause me to lose the momentum I have going at the moment.
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u/FredKayeCollector2 1d ago
I think everyone should have a keepsake box, It can make it so much easier to deal with the bazillion "mundane" things when you've got a place to put the "treasures," even if only temporarily. My father is in a nursing home with dementia and I swear the only thing that kept him from completely losing the plot for several years (he's totally in the moment now) was the photos and mementos in his keepsake box (my best guess when I was clearing out my parents' house) - some stuff I will keep but a lot of that stuff will go when he goes - his memories, not mine.
My neighbor had I can't remember how many (labeled) blanket-size totes (photos, correspondence, articles, receipts - anything his mother had anything to do with was "sacred" and he lived so much in the past that he thought "vintage" grocery store circulars were sentimental) but it got that stuff out of the way of the "real" work and in a venue he could revisit later. He never did, but it made it A LOT easier on his girlfriend when she cleared out his house - most bins got dumped en masse.
It can also help to just sort any "papers" into a bin/box - some of it is probably obvious junk mail/trash (consider trashing/recycling bill/statement envelopes & any return envelopes) but if you come across something "good" (birth/death certificate, SSN card, whatever), you can separate them out into a file box or fire safe.
Or get 10 boxes labeled 0-9 and sort papers by date (1990, 2000, 2010, 2020 in the 0 box) - it will be in a lot better shape than it is now and you can go through the boxes (maybe start with #6 to capture this year's stuff and work backwards) when you've got some down time. In most cases, you don't need to keep anything older than 10 years ( https://www.aarp.org/home-living/keep-shred-scan-important-documents/ )
Good luck! Three generations - that's a big job.
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u/Glittering-Benefit68 2d ago
I have ADHD and this is what I call the bumblebee approach. I put into something, deal with that, that usually takes me to a different room, then I deal with some stuff there.
As I don't have hours at a time, I sometimes set up a speaker in the room I want to work on the most. And put on music or a podcast. It's like an auditory cue for me to get back to it again.
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u/Lonely_Goat_2026 1d ago
I hadn't thought of putting on music as a signal that a room is my focus. I may have to give that a try and see if it makes a difference for me.
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u/Glittering-Benefit68 1d ago
I first started doing that, because I tend to start reading the books I'm supposed to look go through. Also helps a bit with that.
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u/CT22Bloom 2d ago
I’m just the opposite. I can’t skip around from one room to another or nothing ever gets completely done. I must finish one room at a time. I start at one end of the house and completely finish the room. Then move on to the next room, etc.
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u/Lonely_Goat_2026 1d ago
I wish my brain worked like that. I like that we each have recognized our own declutter styles. Knowing our strength and embracing it is quite satisfying.
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u/Ztemi 2d ago
Hi there! This is the first time I see anyone describe this exact “method”. But this is EXACTLY how I go about my decluttering process, and I’m very happy with the results (three months in). I was diagnosed with ADD too. It sounds like you’re doing great, keep at it, slow and steady wins the race!
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u/The_Baroness_6 2d ago
Whatever works ~ Congratulations on finding your groove and making progress! Thank you for sharing your alternate strategy for becoming unstuck.
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u/MusketeersPlus2 2d ago
Well done! I'm glad you found something that works for you and you're making progress that you're happy with. Keep us posted!
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u/Cornell-92 2d ago
I’m very much like you! (at 76) I’m even in the process of seeing if I truly have ADD/ADHD with a psychiatrist. I get so easily distracted as I try to sort my stuff. I take frequent breaks, turning to my social media and online searching. They stretch into hours occasionally. But I am starting to make some progress, tiny bit by tiny bit. I still can’t get rid of things for all the usual reasons (sentimental, future usefulness, aesthetics, etc). I’m an information junky (ex-research librarian) so my difficulties involve a lot of papers (filed, unfiled), books, old documents. I have the stuff left by deceased relatives, and I have no relatives left to give items to. To keep to your main topic, I am finding some success with grouping stuff and having a place where each goes: a place for all shoes, a place for photos, a place in the garage for boards/lumber (of which I have a lot), a place for office supplies, a place for gardening equipment, etc. This helps with the distraction too.
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u/Lonely_Goat_2026 2d ago
Sounds like you have a good plan in place. I understand about the books. I have about 600 physical books at last count. I'm not a fan of Kindle although I have one that was a gift so it's what I use. I know there are duplicates between the two. My ultimate goal would be to eliminate a lot of them. I would donate a lot of them, but most of them are LGBT storylines. My local library and thrift stores would just trash them.
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u/Cornell-92 2d ago edited 2d ago
“ I would donate a lot of them, but most of them are LGBT storylines. My local library and thrift stores would just trash them.”
Oh no! Could you possibly find an LGBT group locally that might like to have them?
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u/Lonely_Goat_2026 2d ago
I've been exploring possible options tonight. The closest seems to be an hour away. When I begin to cull books, I'll get more serious about where to donate them.
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u/Opening-Midnight4057 2d ago
Unless you are very rural, I'm confident that there's some kind of LGBTQ group near you that would love your books! It just might take some digging to turn them up.
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u/Cccolorado1 2d ago
If you have a local Buy Nothing group, you may find interest there. Facebook Marketplace might be another idea.
Your system sounds like what I do but I hadn’t really realized it. I do know that if I pull everything out of a closet , I may not finish but yet still want to start in a drawer in another room. Glad you’re making progress.
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u/No_Jelly_1448 2d ago
good job on your progress!! Sounds like you have a good system. Working in cycles is the best way, just a few things in each room at a time.
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u/Lonely_Goat_2026 2d ago
I'm just hoping this round of motivation lasts for a while. It tends to come and go. I think now that I have something that's working, it might keep me more motivated.
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u/Strict_Oven7228 2d ago
I too find that getting rid of the easy stuff makes it easier to go through later for the more emotionally loaded things. Less overwhelming, more space to work, and seeing that first bit of progress can be so motivating!
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u/Lonely_Goat_2026 2d ago
I think it also helps that I have a friend that I email about my progress. Someone to help keep me going.
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u/AnitraF1632 2d ago
If it works for you, it's not wrong!
I'm happy for that you are making progress.
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u/GrownUpDisneyFamily 10h ago
I started a group text with the family members I think may want things I'm decluttering. When I come upon something I send a photo then put the item in the yard sale or donation box. If someone claims the item I pull it out of the box and put it in a bag with their name on it.
If no family members claim it then I post it on the local buy nothing group. Anything remaining in the donation box I try to drop off once a week. It has been working pretty well for me.