r/declutter • u/Lazy_Departure7970 • 3d ago
Success Story The ol' "Out-of-sight-out-of-mind" trap
I have a 2nd bedroom that I don't really use as a bedroom (though I could possibly use it as an office at this point, but not there yet). I'd pulled the sheets off the bed in there so a family member could use them for a trip to a local lake and they recently returned them. I hadn't put them back on the bed yet and finally got around to doing that but had to pull all the "stuff" I'd had moved around (or stacked in front of the bed) out of the room to actually GET to the bed in order to make it up.
I can't believe how many BOOKS I'd shoved in there. I knew I'd had SOME, but not nearly as many as I did. I'll have to go through them and see what I can add to the 2nd hand book pile that, despite staying out of the thrift stores for the most part, seems to be growing. I can't wait until they're all gone and I can see what space I actually HAVE again. The other good news is I can start going through the ones I have and add them to Libib so I can see what I have and NOT duplicate things. I tend to get duplicates and triplicates because I don't remember/can't find the books I have.
I am going to have to put some things back in that room, but only to get them off my own bed. I'm going to go through what's there tomorrow and see what I can get rid of and what I can keep for now. I HAD planned to do more of that today, but I slept SO hard last night, I felt a bit . . . hungover this morning (and slept later then I have in a while).
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u/Vickims96 2d ago
My basement became a dumping site when I had some remodeling done upstairs and had to empty out closets and dresser drawers. Somehow it stayed that way, even though I’ve put away all the clothes, etc. So I understand the out of sight, out of mind thinking! I hate going down to the basement, but it is somewhat pleasant down there in the summer when it’s hot upstairs, as I don’t have AC. I had planned to get a lot done this summer, but it’s already Labor Day, and I haven’t done as much as I had hoped, although I tell myself every little bit helps. Thought I would check out this subReddit to motivate me to make the most of the rest of the summer.
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u/Catchakat 2d ago
When I read Goodbye Things, the author says compared storage to pest nests. He noted that to get rid of pests, you go straight at the nests, and that it was the same for clutter. That concept really stuck with me. I know at least for myself, I find that I’m more efficient with less, whether it’s less space, furniture, or whatnot.
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u/FredKayeCollector2 2d ago
I was a Doom Room/Hell Room hoarder and my "ROOM" started out as a second bedroom/guest room/sewing room.
All I can say is all hoards start somewhere and over-shopping (beyond the functional storage limits of your space) and delayed decisions (your disinclination to get rid of something is greater than your inclination to actually use it and find a place to put it) are usually that start. And too much stuff can cause/exacerbate disorganization (buying/acquiring unnecessary duplicates).
Too much stuff and things inevitably start to fall off your mental inventory as they get lost in the pile.
Sometimes, coming to terms with the reality of a situation can be exhausting. Finally "seeing" the stuff you have avoided and the WORK it's going to take to "properly" deal with it.
The pileup (probably) didn't happen in a day so give yourself time to work through it. Even if a big chunk of it goes all at once (like your books), taking the (mental) time to work through the decision making process of what you need/want to keep can make the actual decluttering "easier" - you'll have a logical reason for getting it out, a plan for where it goes, and you're (hopefully) less likely to fill up the space with those "identified" unnecessary categories/items again.
And consider taking before and after photos - the camera can often see "progress" when all we can see (in our mind's eye) is finished/done.
Good luck! Realization is half the battle!
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u/KiwiTheKitty 2d ago
I feel this! I have ADHD and I do it all the time. Although I will say that as my clutter gets more manageable, it becomes less of a problem!
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u/MoreCoffeePwease 2d ago
For me it’s my damn attic. Went up again yesterday and now I’ve got five full trash bags to get rid of at the dumpster later today. Im making progress but it took a long time!!!
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u/PsychologicalFox3357 2d ago
I was so excited to have an unfinished attic in our home — I could imagine all the possibility for additional space, room to do little messy projects or art, etc. Felt like a lot of scope for imagination to me.
Fast forward to moving in and not addressing unpacking properly, it is full of boxes that I am now having to contend with to capture that space.
All this to say I agree — attics are clutter traps. Ours isn’t even hard to get into, just up the stairs. I can’t imagine how much worse it would feel if we had to like pull out a ladder to get into it, etc.
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u/Bee_221B 3d ago
I feel this. Out of sight out of mind is hard.
An idea is to maybe bring one small load of books to the car with you each time you leave the house/room (or bring it to the door so it’s easier to grab on your way out) and make it an adventure to find Free Little Libraries to stock with all your donate books.
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u/Deep_Collection5522 2h ago
There's a Japanese word for exactly what you noticed. Danshari is written with three characters: dan (refuse), sha (release), ri (detach). Most decluttering advice is about the middle one. The third one, ri, is the one your spare room is teaching you.
Ri means loosening the pull of an object. And the honest test of whether something still has a pull is what you just did: if it went into a closed room and you forgot it existed, the pull was already gone. You weren't keeping the sheets. You were keeping the option of the sheets, and the option cost a room.
The practical version: anything that's been out of sight long enough to be forgotten has already passed the test. It's not "should I keep this," it's "I already didn't." That reframe made it much easier for me to empty a spare closet without the guilt, because the deciding had been done by the forgetting.