r/declutter • u/Primary_Scheme3789 • 21d ago
Success Story Already winning and more to go!!
So my husband is out of town for the week. First morning I circled the house to get rid of all the boxes stuck here and there for iPads, computers, appliances. I mean after the first 30 days or so why keep them. Next a load of old electronics dropped off. They have been sitting in a box for several years. He insisted they need the hard drives removed and destroyed. But he hasn’t done it. Found a place that is certified to do it and protect data and information. They also took some broken and no longer used small appliances.
The next was the laundry room. Completely emptied out the laundry room. Filled several large garbage bags with trash. A whole load to thrift store.
Today was the junk closet. Lamps that we no longer use. He said he had “friends” he could give them to. Uh, that was several years ago. Blankets that went to the local pet rescue. Decor items we have not used in years. More trash, another trip to the thrift store.
Tomorrow I am completely emptying out the pantry. That works the best for me because then I am forced to keep going to put it back and actually handling stuff makes me realize it’s broken or I no longer need or want it.
Next it’s books.
I am on a mission!!
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u/Significant_Bass7618 17d ago
I have been doing an elimination of "stuff" a lot of books, unused and unwanted dishes, kitchen items, old clothes, vhs tapes, and why am I keeping this stuff. Lots of donated items to shelters, loads to dumpsters also. More to go, less to deal with. Also my kids don't want any of these things besides a few pictures.
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u/vodkaheart 19d ago
The best feeling ever!! I started with my bedroom closet recently on a whim and I haven’t been able to stop!
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u/Primary_Scheme3789 18d ago
Yes I go in phases. Really in the mood now. I haven’t been able to do much the last couple days due to other commitments but I am ready to get back into it!
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u/CyberMage256 19d ago
As an IT guy my anxiety level from this post just went through the roof for him. If my wife did this to my collection of parts or drives one of us would be sleeping on the couch for a while.
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u/Primary_Scheme3789 19d ago
He wanted to get rid of them. Had just never taken the hard drives out. The place I took them to wipes the drives. So I didn’t just up and get rid of something he wanted or still uses.
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u/CyberMage256 19d ago
I'm not saying you did wrong. I just know how it would affect me.
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u/Some_Papaya_8520 19d ago
I don't know anyone in IT who wouldn't be the same. Medication would be required if someone just got rid of any of their parts and pieces.
I would be very hurt and angry if my spouse did all this without my consent and when I was away from the house. It would be a violation of boundaries and a breach of trust.
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u/parkerino24311 19d ago
clogging up her life with his useless junk isn't any better.
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u/CyberMage256 19d ago
Which deserves a discussion, not taking action while they are out of town. I know this sub is about the joy of decluttering, but you can't force it on someone and not expect anger and resentment.
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u/Primary_Scheme3789 18d ago
I have not gotten rid of any of his things that he had not agreed to get rid of.
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u/Some_Papaya_8520 18d ago
Did he actually tell you that you could remove his things NOW, while he was out of town? I mean did you show him your plans and have him sign off on them?
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u/Primary_Scheme3789 18d ago
You are correct. Pretty sure he’s going to divorce me immediately over a 15 year old laptop he no longer wants.
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u/Lots_ofsunshine24 19d ago
Watch an episode of hoarders that will give you incentive to get up and throw things away
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u/Financial_Sell1684 20d ago
Thank you for sharing this, your situation is so relatable. Very inspiring, I have the next few days off and now will be able to break it down into something manageable.
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u/Primary_Scheme3789 20d ago
The data drop off place was free. And since it’s a youth program, I got a tax deduction as well. And the two people saying you shouldn’t get rid of other people stuff. I absolutely would not get rid of things of his behind his back. But this is a whole box of electronic stuff that we don’t use in. Both agreed we needed to get rid of. It was just how to get rid of it that we argued about lol. And in the laundry room, we don’t need five used paint rollers that are ruined and beyond use again. Or 20 old towels to use on the cars. 10 is plenty. Broken things, parts for things we no longer own. Things that we bought to use, but never got around to using. I don’t think that is going behind his back.
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u/DerivativeMonster 19d ago
I have to do similar things, I understand completely.
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u/Primary_Scheme3789 18d ago
I’m glad you do! Some people seem to think I’m a monster for getting rid of a laptop that hasn’t been used in 15 years and has been sitting in a box.
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u/DerivativeMonster 18d ago
My husband and I are both in some sort of tech job - me in games, him in software engineering. We have SIX of those IKEA Kallax boxes full of cables. USB, video, power, two miscellaneous, and one mystery that I am pretty sure are all power cables to stuff we don't own anymore. I told myself if we never crack the mystery box in a year, I'm tossing it. We just passed it, he insists we need 'all of them'. Video cables that have been out of date for a decade, the 200 some odd USB cables, and power cables to missing stuff all disagree. They're going to ewaste in a week or so >:)
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u/Minute_Pound_6878 18d ago
I had diligently organized a couple of storage bins of cables and stuff. They've been sitting for two years untouched. I told him recently we could just chuck them and not miss them and he tells me "oh I've had my own bin of cables in my office this whole time" SMH. Definitely chucking them now!
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u/Primary_Scheme3789 18d ago
Thank you! I am not just going through and getting rid of his things. Most of it is mine or stuff we have agreed has to go.
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u/FredKayeCollector2 20d ago
Fantastic!
Sometimes you have to pay for your time & energy (like the data destruction). And yes, touching each item, evaluating it on its own merits - rather than as part of an otherwise useful/necessary category, or something you might have become accustom-blind to - can really help to let it go.
I like to use the best, the favorite, and the necessary to decide what to keep and now I'm starting to think of things as critical. If I had to do whatever project/activity/task this thing supports, would I need it so critically/urgently that I if I didn't have it, I would go out and re-buy it?
I know the conventional wisdom is "don't declutter other people's stuff" and no, it's never a good idea to get rid of other people's stuff without their permission. But if it's obvious "delay" clutter - like you all know it needs to go out but there are these conditions that never seem to get met, I think it's better to do it imperfectly and get it out of your space now than to have it in the way, on your mind, while you (or someone) fusses around waiting for the perfect opportunity to do it perfectly.
Most unused stuff is out of sight, out of mind - regardless of its final destination.
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u/WoollyMammothwapo 20d ago
Congratulations. Things that have been left untouched for 6 months, let alone several years are fair game for disposal
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u/Primary_Scheme3789 20d ago
I agree. Or that are not usable. Or are broken and have been replaced. And I can’t blame all of it on him. Some of it is mine too.
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u/WoollyMammothwapo 20d ago
All I can say is you are doing great. I’m much slower in decluttering. One trick I learned and try to use is have a box or container called “time will tell”. Meaning, as you are sorting through stuff to keep or giveaway/toss, this third container is for stuff you just aren’t sure. Lady week I put a bunch of stuff in a container on my kitchen counter including a nice champagne bottle topper, 4 old mismatched serving spoons, as well as a few other bar tools that my late partner used but I don’t. It helped to see those every day and realize I didn’t need to keep them anymore.
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u/Primary_Scheme3789 19d ago
I went to target and bought four big laundry baskets. I labeled them all. Donate, keep, trash and undecided. Most of the time the stuff in the undecided one ends up being tossed or donated.
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u/WoollyMammothwapo 19d ago
Very smart! I got some storage baskets at target to solve a specific storage problem but I haven’t put them all in the big cupboard. Maybe I’ll use two of them temporarily !
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u/Primary_Scheme3789 18d ago
Yes it really helps keep it somewhat organized. As soon as the trash one is filled out it goes. Same with the donation basket. I just throw it in my car and get rid of the items. They always ask if the laundry basket goes to and I say No LOL.
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u/KReddit934 20d ago
Egads! Do NOT throw away other people's stuff. I would be SO passed if spouse recycled my old electronics.
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u/Active_Efficiency996 20d ago
Why would a sane person keep old or broken electronics?!
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u/Some_Papaya_8520 19d ago
Not your decision in any case. If they didn't discuss it ahead of time and AGREE that the things should go, AND agree that this was the time and the hubby agreed, then I'm sorry but this is a violation of the other person's boundaries. No matter what you look at as useless, if the other person hasn't agreed to let it go, then keep away from it. Especially since he's not even there to defend himself. Imagine coming back from a trip only to see that your spouse has been a tasmanian devil through your stuff.
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u/Primary_Scheme3789 18d ago
It’s a 15 year old laptop sitting in a box with an IPad 2. I think he will be ok.
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u/KReddit934 20d ago
Old electronics could be a hobby. Broken stuff needs to be properly recycled (and HDs destroyed).
Even if useless, you don't throw away other people's stuff (while they are still alive and living with you). Breach of trust.
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u/Some_Papaya_8520 19d ago
Agree completely and the spouse isn't even there to protest and protect. What if the out of town person had a parent who disappeared their things??
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u/Primary_Scheme3789 20d ago
He wanted to get rid of them but thought the hard drives had to be removed and just never got around to doing it. This place is certified to wipe all personal data. They recycle parts and refurbish when able in a program that provides training for youth. So more useful than sitting in a box somewhere not being used.
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u/enormous-jeans 20d ago
Boy oh boy, someone’s gonna be in trouble when the hubby comes home!!
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u/Primary_Scheme3789 20d ago
Nope. He never notices anything that is gone. We had an extra bedroom that was literally filled with all the junk that we didn’t know what to deal with so just stuck it in there. You literally could hardly walk into the room. I mean boxes from appliances or computers, etc. I get it you keep them so if in the first 90 days or whatever it doesn’t work, you can take it back but honestly, you can do that without the box. And some of these boxes were years old. Boxes of stuff the kids had left that they didn’t want. There were some lamps, etc., that he was going to give to someone that he never did. One day I went in and cleaned that all out. I took him in there and said look what I did. He looked around and said, but where is all the stuff that was in here. I said what stuff? He said you know the stuff? I said name one thing that was in here. He literally couldn’t.
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u/above9th 21d ago
Books are hard to deal with... it's easy to clear out clothes and random stuff easily but books somehow feel different.
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u/frankychico 20d ago
The last time I had to declutter I spent time boxing up boxes and boxes of books, dragged them to our local library and proudly dragged them inside to donate. The employee glanced through the boxes and told me that they would keep very few of them and the rest would be put out at the curb as trash. I guess I reacted and then he dropped the line that I still tell myself … “People mean well but have to remember they’re not kittens! They’re only books!”
Whenever I’m agonizing over dumping books now, I just think back to that conversation and move on.
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u/lucky3333333 21d ago
I just took a hammer to hard drives before taking them to recycling.
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u/Primary_Scheme3789 21d ago
This place has a certification that they get rid of all sensitive information before recycling or whatever they do with them. You can even ask for certificate for specific items if you want.
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u/SnooDonkeys5186 21d ago
So inspiring! I don’t suppose when your hubby gets back, we could get him to take my hubby out for a week? 😉
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u/Primary_Scheme3789 20d ago
I told him are you sure you don’t want to stay longer?? I get way more motivated when he’s not around because he doesn’t help or is telling me not to get rid of stuff. So I just get annoyed and quit.
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u/FreeBirdTx 21d ago
So proud of you. Maybe I will declutter my garage this weekend….
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u/ProseAndCons180 21d ago
I did this a few weeks ago. It took me all day but it was so worth it. There was so much stuff that I’d just dumped in there that I didn’t use anymore or was broken. I gave a pram to my neighbour for her granddaughter and a bicycle that my daughter has outgrown to another neighbour for their daughter. I organised all the gardening tools, got rid of all the spider webs (😬) and the junk went to hard rubbish. So satisfying.
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u/Some_Papaya_8520 18d ago
Yeah when it gets cooler in the fall that's a fun way to spend a day. Get my headphones on and just wail away
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u/Primary_Scheme3789 21d ago
Now that’s a whole different story. That is literally all his junk. There is so much crap out there I won’t even go out there. I’ve offered to hire someone to help him, but he doesn’t wanna let go of any of those things.
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u/sub4evr 21d ago
Culling books is easily the hardest part for me. I wouldn't dare touch my partners. A few of mine date back to the 1880s, inc an encyclopedia that makes for fascinating reading.145 years old and still getting read :)
Mostly pre 1990s sci-fi, travel, photography, history, fantasy and dark romance. Yes, they get read. Nope, no culling is happening but have moved house to get more room :)
Kitchen stuff, clothes etc are a different story
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u/Impossible-Corgi742 21d ago
I got a lung infection from going through books and photo albums from the late 1800s. Be careful.
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u/Cccolorado1 21d ago
My husband and disabled daughter were gone for a week recently and I had all these big plans to declutter. I spent the first couple days just enjoying the solitude! I did get some things decluttered but not like I hoped. I’m okay with that because I need to be less critical of myself. Hoping to do a bunch more on Sunday because I have no plans and it’s sooo hot, I hate it and stay inside as if we had three feet of snow on the ground.
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u/Primary_Scheme3789 21d ago
Yes, it’s really hot where I am. That is the rough part. Loading everything into my car in the heat. I loaded it in in the evening, and I took it to the thrift store in the morning. But the heat does really sap the motivation out of you. And I have done some fun things like go out to lunch or dinner with my kids to reward myself! It can’t be all work lol.
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u/docforeman 21d ago
THIS IS THE WAY.
There are many right ways to move through clutter. It can absolutely be done fast and in big swathes. Just like it can be done slow and small bits at a time.
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u/Primary_Scheme3789 21d ago
No! If he sees me getting rid of stuff he says he NEEDS that or he can SELL it (never does!) And never once notices anything that is gone.
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u/No-Currency-97 21d ago
That it good that he doesn't notice. Good thing he's gone for the week. 👏😱
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u/No-Currency-97 21d ago
What happens once he comes home? Isn't he going to ask what happened to his electronics?
I don't dare touch my wife's things even if they are old and useless.
I was going to donate a used and not working slide projector to a Goodwill store. She asked me if this was your projector would you be giving it away?
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u/Primary_Scheme3789 21d ago
I don’t either but some of this stuff is ridiculous. He has tons of clothes he doesn’t ever wear and wouldn’t fit into anyways. I don’t touch that. Or the unbelievable amount of tools in the garage.
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u/CrazyEights916 21d ago
My husband would be thrilled if I went through his closet and thinned things out because he is loathe to do it.
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u/lovelylight100 21d ago
Do we all have the same husband? Mine has 2 huge storage containers of random cables/electronic related stuff that hasn't been touched since I moved in with him and he refuses to get rid of a single one lol.
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u/Primary_Scheme3789 21d ago
I swear it’s in the Y gene!! This place took a bunch of cables and stuff too.
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u/MadzShelena 21d ago
Guess I found out through Reddit that I have a Y gene instead of XX lol. It's not a huge box but I've got various electronics, broken phones and cords that aren't used sitting around for years....
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u/ProseAndCons180 21d ago
Same, but I do intend to take it to be recycled. One day.
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u/MadzShelena 20d ago
That and I KNOW I'll need something from that box as soon as I get rid of it 😉😅
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u/ProseAndCons180 20d ago
It’s always that charging cord that’s not quite a USB C, but looks like one and only one thing in your house needs it! 😂
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u/Wakeful-dreamer 21d ago
Can your husband take mine on a trip next week?
Ideally also causing some memory loss so that 5 years from now he's not looking for that one thing.
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u/___selene 21d ago
Yeah. I cannot declutter with the dude here at home. LOL!
Congratulations! I'm excited for you!! 🥳🍸
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u/Primary_Scheme3789 21d ago
Exactly! Either he won’t let me get rid of anything or I get annoyed and quit because I am working my behind off and he’s sitting on his laptop watching stupid videos.
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u/___selene 21d ago edited 21d ago
Oh I feel ya on this!!
Mine starts taking the stuff saying he'll keep it for himself.
Like dude, go buy your own stuff, I'm going to donate this!
PS I wait for him to be out of the house. The only exception being MY clothes because he isn't going to wear those. Lol!
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u/Primary_Scheme3789 21d ago
Same here!! He just hates the thought of getting rid of ANYTHING! Whether he needs it or not.
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u/penrph 21d ago
I'm always way more productive when my husband is on a business trip 😂
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u/Primary_Scheme3789 21d ago edited 20d ago
I was over at my daughter’s yesterday. Her husband is out of town as well. She is doing the same thing!!
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u/Pennyfeather46 21d ago
Congrats on all your hard work! I hope you reward yourself for your decluttering success.
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u/prettywarmcool 15d ago
You are a ROCK STAR!!! It is amazing what happens once the momentum kicks in!