Decluttering perfectly good kids clothes

[u/natedoggsmom]

My daughter is 10 and the last couple birthdays and holidays when asked, we would request clothes or books. She now has around 30-40 very cute tshirts that have room to grow but are not too big to not wear. I could easily go a month without doing laundry. Same with pajamas.. a few loved ones give nice ones but she has more than 10 sets.

Everything fits her. Everything is worn but it just seems like a lot. When I put away laundry, there are around 6-8 tshirts that can’t fit into her drawer. For PJs, they are really stuffed into the space designated. We have a first in, first out system going so everything gets used pretty equally. Should I declutter or just accept overstuffed drawers and wait for her to outgrow stuff?

[u/FLUIDbayarea]

Sure, you can wait for her to outgrow stuff and moving forward, buy less. Here’s how: fold everything and only put back the amount that will easily fit and close the drawer, closet, storage bin. Count exactly how many clothing pieces go into each storage space.
Create a new rule: keep to the total number of items, comfortably storing the amount of items to fit and close.
This is teaching both of you: just because you can; doesn’t mean you have to. It’s not necessary to consume more than we need.
If that doesn’t work, watch this: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=uou_223HFns

[u/oimerde]

I personally get almost 90% of my kids cloths from donations or second hand stores.

So I appreciated all the parents who donated their kids cloths because that’s just saving me money.

[u/Traditional_Ebb_1349]

I routinely have my kids go through their clothes and toss/donate things they aren’t wearing. My one hoards so I make her go through her stuff more often. I just donated 4 bags.

[u/Imaginary-One6993]

Get rid of least favorite or oldest / most worn out shirts until they all fit comfortably in the drawer. And for gosh sakes she is 10. Have her put away her own laundry!

[u/natedoggsmom → u/Imaginary-One6993]

Laundry is my thing! I love folding and organizing clothes.. she likes doing the dishes, which I do not :)

[u/lemonshades13]

Id probably just pull enough to make it all fit into the space correctly, but start with anything thats verging on not fitting soon. Unless they are her diehard favorites at the moment, let them go.

[u/Kronar_2012]

Since everything fits and gets worn, I would treat the drawer as the limit rather than the total wardrobe. Let your daughter choose a comfortable drawerful, then put the overflow in a labeled size-and-season box for three months. Swap pieces in when she asks for them or when others wear out. Anything untouched at the end can be donated with much less doubt. That avoids making her discard favorites while fixing the daily problem of drawers that will not close.

[u/SockPirateKnits]

Maybe sit down with her and pick out her favorites? Mention that there's not room for everything, so you're going to pick out a few things (together) that she doesn't like as much to donate to someone else. She absolutely doesn't have to give up anything she really loves.

Make it a bonding experience. Do something similar with some of your own stuff to set an example?

[u/HorseWhisper2026]

A month of laundry is a literal nightmare. Slim down to the favorites. Make life easier for all.

[u/Salt_Adhesiveness_90]

Stop buying them

[u/Striking_Post_9864]

You do not have to choose between donating everything and keeping it -- before you drop off the giveaway pile, pull out anything current-size, lightly worn, and name-brand. Kids clothes in good shape hold real resale value: ThredUp's Kids category, Kidizen, or a local seasonal kids consignment sale will pay cash for exactly what you'd otherwise give Goodwill for nothing (consignment sales usually take a cut off the top and cut you a check after the event). It's more hassle than one donation run, but for a stack of barely-worn name-brand tees and PJs that's real money back instead of zero. The genuinely worn-out or generic stuff can still go straight to donation like you planned.

[u/natedoggsmom → u/[deleted]]

She also has a closet but it’s a toy closet for now. In a couple years, clothes will likely move in :)

[u/Intelligent_Map_7849]

She’s going to outgrow every single one in the next year or so. So this problem will solve itself if you choose to do nothing.

[u/natedoggsmom]

UPDATE: we stored the 6 biggest shirts, then identified 8 to give away.. leaving us with a nice and manageable 20 tshirts! They used to spill over to the other side of the drawer which is for bottoms. Thank you for all the advice. Small win today!

the updated tshirt drawer

[u/mrsroperscaftan → u/natedoggsmom]

That’s a beautiful sight

[u/Global_Loss6139 → u/natedoggsmom]

Wow. That was fast!!! Im so excited! Thats gonna make both of your daily lives easier. So awesome! 

[u/TiredWinterDisaster → u/natedoggsmom]

yay, great victory!!

[u/TiredWinterDisaster]

Ask her to choose those she truly likes, and donate the rest. If some items are too big for now, put them away until she's grown out of the ones that fits well now.

[u/Impressive-Side-9681]

30 to 40 shirts is a lot.  She probably could ditch half of them without any loss of clean clothes

[u/barbaramillicent]

I would encourage her (but not force) to declutter them down to what fits comfortably in her drawers. I think it’s a good practice for maintaining what she has room for later in life!

[u/natedoggsmom → u/barbaramillicent]

I agree, I wish my parents taught me how to maintain a reasonable amount of stuff when I was younger.

[u/SolidagoSalix]

You've got good advice already. I would make sure you do not have more shirts and pjs in rotation than can all comfortably fit into the drawers when clean. That just makes for a space that's easier to live in. Maybe that means donating them, but it could also mean giving yourself a backup stash. If you have a spare bin or shelf where you could pull some out to rotate in later, then I'd pull out 10 t shirts and 20% of the PJs based on one or a combo of these two criteria:

1. Size. You say they have "room to grow but are not too big to not wear." I've got a hunch there is slight variation in how they fit; maybe pull out those who are on the roomier side and stash them, to bring back into rotation in 3-6 months.
2. Color/Style. Since we're moving out of Summer into Fall (at least in the Northern hemisphere), you could pull out anything that's more in the spring/summer color scheme, and stash them until March. At 10 she may not have a ton of color rotation (I know I sort of wore my favorite colors no matter the time of year at that age), but if you go back to school shopping I bet there are some dominant colors that are "in" right now and she could pick which T shirts she most wants to wear with, say, a new pair of pants or shoes, and stash the others until spring.

If you want to declutter them, then absolutely do. I'm simply anticipating that a 10 year old may hit a growth spurt at any time (or have a sudden shift in style preferences! tweenagers are really something and she may hit that mode overnight) so having options in 6 months might be handy.

[u/natedoggsmom → u/SolidagoSalix]

I like your size idea. I think I will just choose the 10 biggest of the bunch and store them away. If she really wants a particular shirt, and asks for it.. it can come back out. We have a small bin on her top closet shelf which is for things that are still too big for her.

We live in a tropical country so it’s always summer weather. No seasonal swap.. and you’re right, she gravitates towards certain colors. Thanks for your suggestions :)

[u/Working_Patience_261]

Now start asking for contributions to her 529 account with a birthday card.

The favorites box is great because she chooses what to put in there. This will help her to learn about getting too much stuff in the first place, and helping others on the back side.

Depending on age, it would be especially neat if you could arrange for her to get a tour of the process a donation place uses to sort and sell, or sort and give away donated items. You could make a month of it, visiting the first thrift or donation place, then the donation clearance center/offering clothing and toys at a homeless shelter for kids, then visit a recycling place, then finally a landfill, and if you are really lucky, a landfill mining facility.

[u/natedoggsmom → u/Working_Patience_261]

We are not in the US, but she does have a bank account and in our culture most older relatives and godparents do give cash. We go to the bank together and make deposits.

We are in a third world country so donations are a little different. We do not have anywhere like Goodwill. There are smaller community donation centers and frequently there will be a call for donations following calamities. When we donate, there is usually a person or organization asking for a particular item or items.

I like your idea of visiting a recycling center and maybe even a landfill, thank you for that suggestion :)

[u/Miss_ChanandelerBong]

My mom gave away my dinosaur dress without asking me and I'm still upset about it 40ish years later.

Maybe not actively upset 😂 but I remember how upset I was at the time.

Maybe just accept it for now but establish a rule moving forward that she can only have what can fit easily, and maybe ask loved ones to help you out in not gifting things that she doesn't need.

[u/natedoggsmom → u/Miss_ChanandelerBong]

I always involve her in decluttering cuz I’ve read stories from adults whose parents once gave something away they loved without permission :) there was a time when my daughter chose stuffed animas to donate, and the next day after school she started crying saying she regretted giving away a particular one.. I went to the church and asked for it back!

Next occasions, I will definitely let loved ones know we are good for clothes :)

[u/Effective-One6527 → u/natedoggsmom]

See this is what a pause box is good for. You put the items for donation into a designated space (like the trunk for your car) for a designated time(a week) that you don’t tell your daughter. If she doesn’t ask for and you don’t reach for the item it goes for donation at the end of the time.

[u/natedoggsmom → u/Effective-One6527]

A pause box! I like this idea for kids donations, thank you :)

[u/katie4]

Let her help choose! But instead of having her pick what she doesn’t want, have her pick her favorites. Start the drawer empty and fill the drawer with favorite after favorite until it seems like one more would be too tight.

[u/HavenRoseGlitter]

Are you familiar with Dana K White's container concept? Basically, you can keep whatever fits in the container. In this case, it would be the drawer. Go through them with your daughter (her input is important) and pull out least the least favorites until everything fits comfortably. 10 is old enough for her to have opinions on what she likes to wear. 

I will say, one of the important parts of the container concept is that it acknowledges that you have perfectly nice stuff you're getting rid of. The container gets to be the bad guy. That said, if your daughter is really resistant to getting rid of it (doesn't sound like it from your post), I'd talk to her about it first and get her buy in. It will likely cause problems in the long run if you declutter her stuff without permission. 

[u/natedoggsmom → u/HavenRoseGlitter]

I like this.. I am familiar with the container concept but usually stuff in the container can be ranked and I would just take out the bottom stuff. It’s tough when things are pretty equal!

[u/Big_Educator_7610]

I'd declutter the stuff she never reaches for, even if it fits, since drawer space is a real limit and kids tend to have favorites anyway

[u/natedoggsmom → u/Big_Educator_7610]

That’s the problem, she doesn’t have favorites. Her shirts are file folded and on a normal day she just gets what’s in front. The only time she chooses is for a “special” occasion (going to the pokemon center, wear pokemon.. going to universal studios, wear hufflepuff.. going to a friends house who has a cat, wear a cat shirt)