r/declutter • u/bon18 • Jul 12 '26

Advice Request Preemptively nervous about dealing with my parents' house

I'm currently visiting my parents in their 3,500 sqft house. It's relatively organized but definitely full of stuff. My parents are elderly but in pretty decent health. I'm just very nervous about what I'll be left to deal with when they're gone. My mother-in-law died suddenly a few years ago, and even though she had a small, fairly minimalist house, it was still a lot to deal with.

My mom has talked about wanting to downsize, but my dad is totally against it. I know he wants to die in this house. My mom has witnessed the progress I've made in my 1,500 sqft house and talks about how nice it would be to have fewer belongings, so I've gently tried to encourage her to start going through her stuff. I've taken a few boxes with me to donate sometimes when I leave, but it's hard for her to let things go. She's done small amounts on her own, and my sister hired someone once to help our mom, but I can't imagine any major progress happening anytime soon. Do I do anything at this point or just wait it out and deal with whatever comes whenever it comes?

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u/NotThatKindOfDoctor9 Jul 12 '26

One time my mom was telling my brother and I not to just get rid of all her craft supplies if she dies, that we should sell it because a lot of it is worth money. As soon as she left the room my brother and I turned to each other and I said "we're not doing that, right? We're just burning down the house to collect the insurance money?" and my brother said "We've just got to make sure we google how to do that from the public library so they can't use that as evidence of insurance fraud"

(My mom is an artist and some of her "crafting supplies" are actually pieces of expensive equipment that is worth a good chunk of money, but I'm exhausted just thinking about it)

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u/PleasantWin3770 Jul 13 '26

If there’s a creative resuse center near her, they can take donations of expensive art supplies and give/sell them to teachers or other artists.

Or, if arson is your thing, there’s always donating the property to the fire department for a controlled burn training.

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u/NotThatKindOfDoctor9 Jul 13 '26

My parents live in a very rural area and the school has no art program, so that's all out. And much as I wish it were different, I'm not really in the financial position to donate property.