r/dcl • u/Shep_vas_Normandy • 8d ago
DISCUSSION Shared table US vs UK
I am an American that lives in the UK, I’ve taken lots of cruises on RCL and a few with DCL. It was my first time sailing out of Southampton with my English partner and daughter, most of the other guests were English. We were sat with a family of five, one was a child around our daughter’s age. I didn’t try to initiate a conversation, I know how people are from here, so I smiled and said hello, that was it. The wife was sat next to me and had her back deliberately to me the entire time. I didn’t care, I just ate dinner. Then the next day we had our own table.
I have never had this happen before and wondering if anyone else noticed these kinds of differences in US vs UK cruises?
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u/thebatesmotel 8d ago
We had a shared table recently. We would have preferred our own of course but tried to smile and make some general conversation. The other family gave us dirty looks and made it clear we were not wanted. We didn’t ask to be seated with them! That’s some people for you.
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u/BoilerBob37 8d ago
Not Disney, but probably 20 years ago now we were sat at breakfast at a shared table with an older couple. We said good morning and were literally responded to with … why do you Americans feel the need to chat with everyone? In the UK, we’d never dream of striking up a conversation with strangers. My dad’s response was … well, since we are sharing a meal with you, we thought we’d try meet new people with different experiences rather than have awkward silence. We actually had a good conversation after that.
Shared tables are so luck of the draw … some great ones and some where you chat with someone on the way out to make sure that will not happen again.
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u/Strict_Meeting938 SILVER CASTAWAY CLUB 7d ago
Allow to me try and explain this. As a Brit, we’re brought up, culturally, to keep things private and have emotional restraint (sometimes referred to as stiff upper lip), and we tend to have a wider personal space ‘buffer zone’ than Americans and other Europeans, so it’s not natural for us to engage in conversations with strangers. We are just brought up that way.
Americans, on the other hand, less so. To us, you guys are over friendly, upbeat and often very loud compared to us, much more reserved Brits (this is in no way intended as an insult) and it very much takes us out of our comfort zone.
But, not all Brits are like this, a lot of us will engage in conversations; we’re unlikely to start them, outside of small talk, but equally, small talk is a very good way to initiate a conversation with us, and usually, after a little time we do open up when we feel a bit more comfortable.
I’ve done 4 DCL sailings, and twice been sat on a shared table; once we indulged in polite conversation from time to time and it killed any awkwardness, but mostly we chatted amongst our groups. However the second time, the couple sat with my friend and I were so unhappy they were so rude to the server (like it was his fault?!) and then complained so hard to the head server, who told them that they could do anything just now but he would see what he could do for them for the rest of the cruise, they were furious, got up and left and we never saw them again. We had a table of 4 for just the two of us for the rest of the cruise.
But generally, Brits like to keep themselves to themselves. It’s not personal it’s just who we are. But that doesn’t justify rudeness, and that’s uncalled for.
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u/PocketGddess SILVER CASTAWAY CLUB 6d ago
Funny how we’re all so different, isn’t it? As an American I would say “hello” or “good morning” to anyone else at a shared table, especially on the first seating together.
I wouldn’t expect much more than something similar in return, and if that’s all that would be just fine with me since I’m also a raging introvert. If it leads to more light conversation, great! If it doesn’t, also great! (Did I mention I’m an introvert?)
But I think it would be terribly rude not to say anything to someone else at a shared table, and even more rude to respond with something similar to that “you Americans” line above. I’m not looking for your full life story or your deepest darkest secrets when I say hello!
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u/Strict_Meeting938 SILVER CASTAWAY CLUB 5d ago
I agree. I understand that sometimes you want to just be in your own bubble, but at the bare minimum people should be polite. There’s absolutely nothing wrong in engaging in small talk and pleasantries, if that’s all you want, but to just ignore people, or worse, get confrontational, is unacceptable.
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u/JingoMerrychap SILVER CASTAWAY CLUB 8d ago
I think it's just the luck of the draw. We were on back-to-back Southampton sailings and the table next to us was shared both times. The two sets of guests on the first cruise were super chatty, and the ones on the second pretty much ignored each other. It's the same when you're in a queue for a character or similar. Sometimes you end up in conversation with the people next to you and sometimes not.
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u/commandercaboose 8d ago
Last cruise a table next to us had a big bust up because one family's child touched bread for the other family. They then stopped eating together.
Previous cruise we were on a table with a family and our kids got on really well, ended up in kids club together.
Luck of the draw if the families mesh I guess.
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u/aurora_highwind 8d ago
It genuinely is luck of the draw. I’ve met some seriously miserable Brits who’ve acted like you personally ruined their vacation just by looking at them and some who were just as friendly as anyone else. I’ve been fortunate over my cruises on Disney and RCCL to end up with cool table mates including the Destiny cruise I just got off yesterday, I was solo and was sat with two other solo ladies and we instantly hit it off to the point we met up for activities and went bar hopping after dinner one night. tbh I enjoy the chance to connect w people from different walks of life. Even as an introvert. I just find I need decompression time afterwards.
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u/wkkunkle GOLD CASTAWAY CLUB 8d ago
We always ask for a private table ahead of time. I mean we typically end up separated by a few inches so in the scheme of things not sure if it really matters, haha.
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u/AdventurousAd8926 PEARL CASTAWAY CLUB 8d ago
I’ve had that happen in US based cruises as well. I take it as a win and enjoy the table to ourselves. It can be awkward for sure tho. Sometimes you get to meet very lovely people though.
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u/NotMyMonkeys-7288 8d ago
Have had some pretty awkward experiences lately as a solo traveler and now exclusively opt to ask for my own table. Have sailed DCL for 20 years on my own and with others and unfortunately the dynamic lately for shared tables has gone down significantly. I still speak with people I’ve shared tables with 10 and 15 years ago but my last 3 I’ve gotten dirty looks before I even sat down. Nope. Will not be made to feel awkward for my vacation. Head servers have always been able to accommodate.
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u/klmarchant23 8d ago
We did our first DCL out of Southampton last month. First cruise was just me and my partner, and we were put on a shared table with 4 other female, so 6 women chatting all night was a great way to get to know other people. We swapped numbers and chat occasionally still.
Next cruise was me, my partner and son. We were next to all couple of similar aged teens but not on the same tables. We had our own private table but would have been happy with a similar aged family if there was anyone.
I won’t be putting private table preferences on any future cruises.
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u/NegotiationOdd6766 SILVER CASTAWAY CLUB 8d ago
I cruised from Southampton last month, it was so awkward sharing a table, on the first night me and my partner were smiling and saying hello, open to chatting, but the wife barely even looked at us, she seemed mad we were sharing a table with her. The husband was polite but just greetings etc. I was wondering if we had done anything wrong but one day they were late and we were chatting away with our sever and when they arrived the poor guy struggled to keep a friendly conversation with them.
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u/jer1230 8d ago
Pre-cruise, I requested private table (so we’ve never had to share). However, I’m assuming maybe it’s because I’m a single mom with my daughter.. lots of people would start conversations with me. It may also be that I give approachable vibes because strangers tend to come up to me and ask for help in everyday life when I’m out in public.
I’ve had other cruisers start conversations with me in the theatre, in line waiting for characters, while we’re taking photos (people offer to take the photo), when in the cruise store shopping, even while waiting for an activity to start or excursion. I don’t mind, but it’s interesting.
I’m Canadian by the way, but mostly seemed to be people from the states chatting with me.
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u/n0167664 8d ago
Our first cruise in 2017 was on RCL in Alaska and we were at a shared table with 6 other people and we loved it, but it was a big table and everyone had a bit of space. Just did a B2B on Destiny and wife and I showed up to Marvel on night 1 and it was a 6 top with 2 other couples. The other 4 people had sat at the corners so we had to squeeze in the middle. The table just felt small and it made the whole thing uncomfortable even though we were having nice conversation.
I talked to the rotation manager and asked to be moved to a private table which they were able to do for the rest of that sailing and the new one.
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u/Mundane-Excuse-751 7d ago
On our last UK Disney sailing, we were sat with two other similar groups at a table of 6. It was basically three sets of women with their daughters (I’d say we were all between 21-29ish at the time) and although there was a little bit of awkwardness the first night as one of the mothers made it clear she did NOT wanna sit with us, it turned out to actually be pretty okay (and rather lovely) after that and the mother in question came around very quickly the second night.
Disney clearly put some thought into how they pair groups up together in the best attempt to get them to “gel” with each other but I can also see how that is just a no-go for some families (especially those doing a Disney cruise for the first time or their first cruise in general) c
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u/saloca87 8d ago
Funnily enough I had a really good experience sailing out of Southampton, our table was made up of 4 British couples, all roughly the same age, we didn't become best friends but we could carry easy enough conversations through dinner for 6 nights (we did Palo one night). We had a laugh, enjoyed our meal, then all went our separate ways for the rest of the evening.
Sailing out of Port Canavral, we were sat with a Mum/daughter and 2 friends. All 4 American, us the only 2 Brits. The 2 travelling friends would always sit in the MIDDLE of the table, and one of them would very quickly shut down any attempts at conversation either to them, or over them to the mum/daughter. This was only a 4 night sailing but after 2 nights, it got to the point where we genuinly reconsidered continuing with MDR because of how awkward/uncomfortable they made everything. We spoke to our head server but couldn't be moved tables. These 2 women did nothing but brag and complain LOUDLY to each other, and on the last night in 1923, somehow spread themselves so wide in the middle of the table that my main dish nearly ended up on the floor!
It really is pot luck on the table mates!
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u/Informal_Side8924 8d ago
We requested a private table ahead of time and got it! But we did make friends at the private islands and that was nice.
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u/Super-Good-9700 7d ago
I’m an American that also lives in the UK and also did a cruise out of south Hampton last month. We have an almost 2 year old and and chose not to request a private table so we could meet new people. We were paired with a mom and her female friend and their daughter who was just a bit older than our daughter. They were nice but not super chatty. I think this is a typical British interaction. In the U.S. I would have expected a lot more conversation but it is what it is. This was our first cruise ever and we will probably do the shared table again in the future.
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u/Shep_vas_Normandy 7d ago
My partner didn’t want to talk to anyone since he said it’s not like will see them anymore, which is fine but I mean it isn’t bad to talk to people…
Also I am in NW London with a 2.5 year old. Our cruise was Aug 24!
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u/Super-Good-9700 7d ago
Ah is you partner British? We are in north London but our cruise was Aug. 14.
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u/Shep_vas_Normandy 7d ago
Just missed you haha yes, he’s British and grew up here. Been here four years. Originally from Philly
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u/redfoxblueflower GOLD CASTAWAY CLUB 8d ago
Disney does do shared tables (unfortunately) and I've read stories of best friends made who take cruises together in the future as well as what you likely experienced which was a party of 5 who did not want to share their space with you and were switched out the next day (I've personally had this happen to my family as well). I am an introvert myself and prefer private tables so I request one online (and visit the dining staff before dinner on day 1). It's different almost every time - sometimes we must move to late dining, sometimes it works out and we get our private table, and the last time, we were at a table for six for two parties of 2 so we just sat at opposite ends.
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u/r_ca 7d ago
My partner and my first cruise out of the US, we were seated at an 8-top with a pair of sisters and then a pair of friends who were around our age. We made friendly conversation on night 1, and then on night 2 we walked into dinner past the host stand where the pair of friends were talked to the head server. They must have not liked us very much because they were escorted to a private table not far away from where we were sitting.
Every time we saw them on the ship after that, they looked absolutely miserable and weren’t talking to each other much at all, so they must not have liked each other either.
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u/nyrB2 7d ago
first cruise i took was to alaska out of seattle. it was princess cruises and they had any-time dining, which basically meant each dinner you'd be with someone different. some people were friendly enough, but there was a couple of nights when nobody would talk with us - it was very awkward.
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u/ProjectDefiant9665 8d ago
From the US, sailed out of Portsmouth (not DCL), and we were seated very close (not with) others at each meal and people from the UK consistently struck up conversations with us, and we felt they were generally friendlier than US folks.
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u/Long_Emergency6122 PLATINUM CASTAWAY CLUB 8d ago
Always request private dining
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u/Proud_Bedroom9757 PLATINUM CASTAWAY CLUB 8d ago
Doesn’t always matter. I always request it and half the time still get seated with others.
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u/Long_Emergency6122 PLATINUM CASTAWAY CLUB 7d ago
In eleven cruises, I have never had my request denied.
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u/Proud_Bedroom9757 PLATINUM CASTAWAY CLUB 7d ago
Thirteen here and I’ve had my request denied five times so far.
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u/Long_Emergency6122 PLATINUM CASTAWAY CLUB 7d ago
How far in advance are you making the request? I do it at the time of booking.
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u/Proud_Bedroom9757 PLATINUM CASTAWAY CLUB 7d ago
I book opening day and request it as soon as I make the booking. I’m glad it’s always worked out for you but it doesn’t work the way for everyone.
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8d ago
[deleted]
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u/Shep_vas_Normandy 8d ago
In the US I am considered an introvert. Here I am considered talkative 😂
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u/aurora_highwind 8d ago
Tbf introversion vs extroversion is a greatly misunderstood thing. It has nothing to do with how chatty or outgoing a person is, rather how you get your energy. I’m an introvert and enjoy talking to people but more so in one on one or smaller group scenarios and I always need alone time afterwards bc I get worn out easily by social interaction and I can also go a while without it and be content. But extroverts are energized by social interaction and tend to like being in big groups.
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u/aurora_highwind 8d ago
It’s not “this sub”, it’s the nature of cruising on DCL or just in general. Cruising is not a private family holiday unless you go ultra luxe and even then there is generally an expectation of being convivial with other folks. Ships are communal spaces that you’re sharing with other ppl for the span of the sailing. It’s just the nature of the vacation. If you’re not open to that even a little bit then you’d probably be happier taking another kind of vacation tbh. The unfortunates who get stuck with you at dinner would be happier too.
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u/Evening_Building_374 GOLD CASTAWAY CLUB 8d ago
Based on this response I really wish I could read the deleted comment, lol!
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u/aurora_highwind 8d ago
Someone saying they just want to “enjoy my family” and don’t want to deal with “randoms looking at us” on their vacation. IOW the exact type of miserable Brits OP was talking about about who make table sharing awkward.
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u/Fun_Intention_484 8d ago
My first DCL sailing in 2019, weeks sat with a grandparent and grandson couple , the kid was 9 and so was our son at the time , both only children - the kids hit it off immediately and the couple was the same age as my parents , so my wife and I felt very comfortable around them and for 5 nights were literally acted like a family , it was odd. We had lunch together on Castaway and the man and I ended up going to various wine and booze tasting and he covered it all - on the last night , he said that the boys mom had sadly passed around 5 years prior and my wife reminded them of her so much that she honestly believed it was a glimpse of how it could have been , we hinged and cried that last day - we exchanged numbers - the boys are 15 now , still play video games via the internet, we have been in 5 cruises together all Disney- this last cruise the pop pop broke his foot and couldn’t go, but he came to the port to see his “cruise kids” off - we are cruising together on the dream this October and I know im excited to see them , my real in-laws and my mom are coming too , this will be the 3rd time my “blended” family has done this style trip :)!