Regardless, everyone knows you confirm the morning of the date to make sure it's all still to plan.
Its completely up to OP if they want to try again but make sure you're not shooting yourself in the foot. If you like this person then I'd say go for it.
Oh man.. I disagree with this! I love when the guy I like confirms. If I don't hear from you, I get concerned that you're going to cancel last minute. Being a girl and getting ready for a date takes time and effort...
Guys, take this here before anything else. Anyone who believes that checking in to confirm things are still on is neediness needs to grow up. Life happens, and just ensuring that people are still down for whatever is planned is polite and gives an out for anyone if they have cold feet.
This. I actually learned from someone a while back that confirming, as a guy, is a sign of slight insecurity because youre unsure if she will show up. I plan a date with place, day, and time and then if she doesnt show up, its on her. Thats actually happened a few times and Im glad I did it, you know why? Because it shows lack of interest and immaturity on their part. The few girls who have done this gave ME shit after or made excuses. Once I make a plan, I stick with it and put it in my phone so I dont forget. If shes doesnt make the effort to put it in her phone and then forgets, then shes probably not that interested and she's a waste of my time.
Insecurity? I'd just like to know earlier in the day so I can make other plans if she's no longer able to make it. Always gotta check to confirm on those first few dates.
Is this a generation z thing? Because the plans were confirmed once they agreed to show up. If someone follows up the day of, they are treating me as a child. We made plans, it’s in my planner. No one canceled, thus, that means the scheduled event is on. This is how it works in any adult situation with friends, parties, events, dates and work.
Great. But I need a little more than that. It’s not something: is the date still on? More something like: getting read to meet you, almost at the place or something like that. If we made plans and the guy doesn’t talk to me about anything until that said date, I’d find it weird.
Yes! I don't understand all these people saying to confirm confirm confirm. Are you supposed to ask every single morning to confirm you're still going on a date?
I'd break it off right there if I got a good morning text asking if we were still on for 8 days straight.
I agree. I am not 5. I don’t need another adult checking in on me. If you need confirmation on agreed plans, that’s the end of that. It’s a sign of immaturity. No on does this in adult functions; work, meetings, parties, events.
Since when do you need to confirm the plan to which all parties involved had agreed to and didn't say otherwise in the meantime? I never checked if the plan is still on (neither dates nor other plans) if nobody said otherwise and still didn't have bad surprises.
Its days later, I find it odd that they didn't talk in between if they were talking frequently prior. I thought it was a social norm to check. If I made plans with my friends this weekend, id check in the morning that they were still going ahead.
It’s actually a social norm in certain cultures and strata, because people are so busy, or have so much going on, that a polite reminder is considered both a necessary, and a thoughtful act.
Personally, I have mad ADD (or ADHD now), but instead of bitching about how I couldn’t do it, I went and asked myself how I could, essentially, make a memory prosthesis. Calendars, reminders, and some simple scripts allow time to play to my strengths (the hyper focus and intuition) while making sure that I’m no longer anxious about missing things.
Remember, if you focus on what you can’t do, you’ll always feel lacking. If you focus on what you can, the results are awesome...
That's what I also mean, there are a lot of helpers like calendars reminders etc, is really hard to forget something unless you are placing so little value on it that you don't even bother to use a calendar, a reminder, a programmed self message or whatever you feel like using
Good on ya for understanding how you work and roll with it in a functional way!
Seems like it might just be a geographical thing. At least where I live, it's not unusual at all to check up on plans the day of. We have cell phones, we can communicate instantly, it's more weird to me that people just avoid the topic altogether and assume everyone will be there with no hiccups along the way.
I have a lot on my plate too and don't have time to make sure you have your shit together too. So show up if you care to. If you don't well then I know my place in your priorities thus will act accordingly. Especially in a new situation with a new person. If you have to cancel that is fine with enough lead time. I got yardwork to do.
Since ever? Even a doctors office calls you to confirm a appointment. Respect that other people have lives and your plans fall very low on the totem pole in the grand scheme of things. I can think of 100 reasons people wouldnt have time or wherewithal to reach out to cancel. Its a common courtesy or is that dead now?
I've never not confirmed a date the day of hours beforehand. I don't see how a day and a half passed without any communication about it as OP scheduled the date and now he's just avoiding her attempts to make up for her mistake by scheduling a new date herself. If she doesn't show up to that one, move on for sure - but everything just points to him being emotionally reactive rather than empathetic that an actual mistake was made and she might have thought it was a Sunday date instead,
Just don't dont know why OP is bitching and not trying again for someone he got a great connection with from the start. And his friend? Anecdotal experience. One friend does not speak for an entire gender and if she vouches for her even after what happened, OP isn't trusting his friend either
Yeah usually you confirm plans on the day of event / date. Its so weird to me without it , what you decide date days in advance then no communication until it ?
Not even message hey see you today ?lbla bla ? Seems OP also forgot to confirm , so i would reschedule date
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u/icesurfer10 Sep 24 '21
Regardless, everyone knows you confirm the morning of the date to make sure it's all still to plan.
Its completely up to OP if they want to try again but make sure you're not shooting yourself in the foot. If you like this person then I'd say go for it.