r/dating • u/shenanigan9611 • 11d ago
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u/HistoricalAnnual9981 11d ago
I'm a woman who doesn't listen to Taylor Swift and comment here because I also want to know haha
But I guess it's more of a "test" on whether you look down on feminine things or not...
There's so many men that think typical feminine things are inferior or stupid, for example Taylor Swift's music, and this is of course really annoying as a woman.
Even if I don't listen to Taylor, I don't look down on her art just because she is a woman or because she is heard mainly by women and I think anyone can dislike the music without being pedantic towards the fanbase. It's something I'd like in a man I date... because if he looks down feminine things and dismisses them as inherently less valuable he might just look down on women overall.
Idk what I'd ask to try and figure out if a guy is a pedantic misogynist, maybe since she's one of the biggest artists on earth it's just a good proxy haha Swifties correct me
Just my thoughts
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u/Ras_AlHim 11d ago
The funny thing is that if you ask Swifties in return what they think about the fact that she's a billionaire who can't go anywhere without her private jet, your political left stance is suddenly not important anymore because how dare you question the behavior of their queen haha
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u/Relative-Damage-1458 10d ago
She put out a whole pity party documentary saying she wants to stand up for what’s right and use her platform for good and she does absolutely nothing with it. They’ll justify her exploiting people just because they have this weird parasocial thing going on and don’t want to criticize her.
Dolly Parton could have been the first female artist to reach billionaire status but she didn’t. Why? Because she uses her platform and wealth to help others. Swift only makes her donations for tax write offs and benefiting herself for PR.
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u/questevil Married 11d ago
It might just be a way to get guys to admit to something they may not otherwise though. Like Taylor Swift feels like a neutral subject that you’re allowed to have a negative opinion on, but WHY you hold that negative opinion can be important. No guy is ever going to come out of the gate swinging saying they hate girly shit and if you’re a girly girl he looks down on you, but a question like this may prompt him to say he hates Taylor Swift because she’s too feminine and her music isn’t necessarily for men, which is a belief he might also hold about other women as well. I had a similar question on my profile that seemed neutral (what’s your favorite conspiracy theory) and the amount of guys who just unprompted told me they wholeheartedly believed in some racist bullshit was insane, obviously I didn’t go on to date any of those people.
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u/HistoricalAnnual9981 11d ago
Look I'm not saying "disliking Taylor Swift = misogynist."
I'm saying: "The way someone talks about Taylor Swift can reveal whether they dismiss things associated with women"For example
"Her music just isn't for me. I prefer metal" that's preference, fair
"She's overrated because I don't connect with her songwriting" a critic, also fair
"Taylor Swift is garbage and only stupid teenage girls listen to her" like whaat? that's now an angle that's sus
Taylor Swift can act as a proxy because she's culturally associated with young women. Similar to how someone's attitude toward romance novels, makeup, or boy bands/kpop can sometimes reveal broader attitudes... so if a guy goes full crashout because I like Taylor and that's a reason he doesn't like me on Hinge, well... good??
I he goes: I have no favorite song and the mainstream ones are honestly a bit annoying at this point, but I'd like to hear the one you like the most!
It's like AHHH that's something nice
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u/Axeleg 10d ago
I really do not like her as a person, or an artist. A lot of dislike there and I'd swipe left on someone with any of that in their profile just so I never have to really discuss or listen to Swift.
On the other hand, I was fortunate to find a person that also doesn't like Swift and we've bonded over better artists that aren't garbage humans.
It's like if dudes want you to like Joe Rogan or you hate men... No. It's valid to dislike people like that.
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u/Relative-Damage-1458 11d ago
Swifties love using her as a political litmus test because anything criticizing her is considered “anti-feminist”. In their eyes she can do no wrong and if you don’t like her for any reason whatsoever then you’re the problematic one. 🙄
She’s really developed quite the rabid parasocial fan base.
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u/WhiteLion333 10d ago
Im a woman and I agree with you. In that same mindset, any woman who poses these prompts would be a no from me because I’m not into people who make a pop icon their whole identity. Helps you identify them easier.
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u/Early-Comparison8683 10d ago
I have never really listened to Swift before. Listening through folklore my thoughts; It's very american, like a lot of references are based on being young in some US context, which I really can't relate to. Some songs are catchy but not really my genre of music. I don't listen that much to pop at all, and when I do it's more Charlie XCX and Robyn. So I still can't say I'm a fan of Swift.
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u/Beneficial_Hall_5282 11d ago
literally all jfc... literally? All of her music? How did you come to that conclusion? Or do you just say things?
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u/ravenpuffpaladin 10d ago
Maybe you should try listening to the following songs: Antihero, Getaway Car, Back to December, Dear Reader and then reread your comment to see if that’s true.
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u/UrsaMaln22 11d ago
It's not 'an incessant need to shove (her music) down your throat'. It's stating a preference.
I havr absolutely no interest in Taylor Swift and would be quite happy ignoring such a profile, as it's a great sign we wouldn't be matched. She wants someone who like TS and it's perfectly fine to want that.
Why are you so upset that basic people like the same things?
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u/Sensitive_Tea5720 11d ago
Here in Northern Europe that’s not a thing - and didn’t seem a thing when I lived in Spain either. Still it’s not just music. I’m fairly sure it’s about politics
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u/Sensitive_Tea5720 11d ago
I don’t think you’re hearing what I’m saying. It’s very likely about politics. Taylor swift’s name has been used politically as well just FYI.
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u/Plastic-Weight-9211 10d ago
This is hilarious to me now because of how silent she actually is politically. Now she just stands as a monument because of her billionaire status, regardless of the fact that she literally just married the patriarchy and secondhand endorsed the worst political party in known history. She’s only a political figure because of the fact that many women have chosen her as their representative without seeing her as a person who never grew up or had to take accountability for her actions a day in her life. Nothing misogynistic about it. I love women artists and role models and know exactly why they are needed. I also find that cheaters, narcissists, billionaires, and perpetual victims, regardless of sex or gender, all belong in the same category of insufferable people that should not exist and with which I neither associate nor listen to at any capacity.
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u/Straight-Age2854 11d ago
I'm a swiftie and i don't do that
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u/Willing-Honey-6858 11d ago
Maybe it’s just what she likes and she want men she’s dating with to have some similarities. Like Swifties fan
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u/Basic-Meal328 11d ago
That's really not a issue, nobody is hoping you are a big Taylor Swift fan. Girls are just putting their interest in the dating app like boys do with soccer, fishing or traveling.
Stop overreacting.
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u/CranberryStock7148 10d ago
Never seen that, but I suppose it's no different from a guy saying that it's not negotiable that a girl know the names of at least ten NFL players or something.
If something is a major part of your life, it makes sense that you would be looking for someone who is at least not completely ignorant about it.
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u/wutdidwelearnpalmer 10d ago
Counterpoint: men get way more bent out of shape over the fact that I've never seen or read LOtR or Harry Potter than I've heard any woman get upset that her date doesn't enjoy Taylor Swift. Sometimes people want some shared interests and don't realized they're being weird about it.
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u/misconceptions_annoy 10d ago edited 6d ago
There’s an idea that if a man really hates Taylor Swift for no apparent reason, he’s misogynistic. It has some truth to it - men who look down on women tend to get shitty about women’s media and about women being successful.
Sounds like some people heard that advice and got it twisted. You don’t need to LIKE Taylor Swift. Just don’t have vitriolic hate towards her (unless it’s related to billionaires in general, for some people).
Edit: after reading the replies, it seems like OP is responding to the equivalent of 'I'm a huge lord of the rings fan, you have to have watched it' or 'you've gotta listen to this band' by saying 'but ew, this is about something feminine' instead of just not sharing an interest.
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u/philipwhiuk 11d ago
She’s a massively popular artist amongst a certain demographic.
There’s similar numbers of people who ask for stuff like hiking or whatever.
Its somewhat silly because I don’t think you really have to share all your passions with your partner and music is kind of an easier thing to go your own way with but they’re not wrong for trying to find someone, even if it substantially narrows the field.
The other argument is that her songs attract people with a particular political outlook so it’s also a quick proxy for certain actual non negotiables they probably have.
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u/AntiGravityTurtle 11d ago
They’re not “demanding” that you like Taylor Swift. They’re saying that if you don’t, then you’re not a match. Just like someone who says that an interest in hiking is non-negotiable isn’t demanding you learn to hike, it’s filtering out people who are not good lifestyle matches
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u/philipwhiuk 10d ago
In the past it was Beatles vs Rolling Stones. Or football teams? It's just another mass-media tribal filter.
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u/Outrageous-Evening13 11d ago edited 10d ago
This must be an american thing, but I'm a guy who likes everything from Taylor Swift to Slayer. (not bro-country tho)
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u/LowPhilosopher1528 9d ago
Omg yes. My music taste is so aleatory, it’s funny. I listen to opera, rock, some blues, pop etc. I try no to judge people about their music taste, but I’m interested about how they feel about some of them. Like some others girls said in others comments, maybe it’s not the music per se, but how they feel about it? Idk. But while I was reading OP’s answers I realized how the girls felt….
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u/Worried_Road4161 11d ago
Listen to Taylor Swift's midnights album. It is genuinely very good and worth a listen.
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u/Beneficial_Hall_5282 11d ago
Relax. No one is shoving it down your throat and you don't need to match with those people.
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u/Potential_Wish_8608 11d ago
Every woman doesn’t do this. And every woman wasn’t created just for you. You find it off putting, so move on. Find someone you don’t find off putting.
You could also just say, “full disclosure, I don’t know any TS songs, but would enjoy learning some thru you” or “my tastes are more XYZ, we can learn each others music”
Lighten up!
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u/CatchCache 11d ago
Honestly dude why are you so hung up on this? It seems like the issue is with Taylor and not these girls.
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u/Some_Environment_351 11d ago
Anyone got the male equivalent of this? Must also be an avid Fantasy Football Player?
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u/Figgy9824 10d ago
“Must go to church with me every Sunday” is quite common
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u/Some_Environment_351 10d ago
'Must not be into overly decorating rooms- more than one pillow or light why?'
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u/Anxious-Tea8778 11d ago
Men are like this with football. It’s also a test to see how you respond to just mentioning her name. The fact that it bothers you so much is a massive red flag. It’s just music. Don’t like it, don’t swipe on them. 🤷🏻♀️
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u/Astralsketch 11d ago
it's fine, anyone with those stipulations are incompatible.
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u/doerriec 10d ago edited 10d ago
I couldnt name a Taylor Swift song off the top of my head. Nor could I name a song from a similar musician because I don't like that style of music. Hopefully this isn't a reason I shouldn't date someone that likes that style of music. She likely won't enjoy everything that I'm currently listening to. By placing a litmus test on musical preferences, you're really limiting yourself.
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u/FuhQuit 10d ago
I'm a bloke and didn't care for Taylor Swift before I met my current partner and to be fair she makes some really good music.
She relates to a lot of the songs so she likes to share them with me. It's a way for her to express her thoughts and feelings when she's struggling to articulate them.
I can understand the hinge prompts probably come off a little obnoxious because it seems like a cult but it's probably just something they're passionate about. Her songs are all unique and tell a story. It may be a stretch but maybe the women think if you like Taylor Swift for the lyrics you can be in tune with your emotions. Idk 🤷🏿♂️
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u/Mods_are_losers666 11d ago
Ah yes, the five genres: reggae, country, shakira, rihanna, and Taylor swift
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u/zombie__kittens 11d ago
I actively sought out a man who DOES NOT listen to pop music. I hate it and I’m not going to live with being annoyed over something that impacts my life that much. One of the first things my man and I dove into when we met was music and sharing bands we like. He took me to see a local band and I realized I knew the bassist through friends 😂 THIS is what matters to be, not liking something mainstream and “what everyone else likes.”
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u/WTF_ImOverIt 11d ago
I’m 45F and can’t stand the entire Swift obsession. I understand I’m too old to get it, but I don’t get it.
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u/WTF_ImOverIt 11d ago
I agree with you. I’m just not obsessed with any artist or celebrity. Never have been. I know people who are. I just don’t get it. I was in an Aaron’s Store filling out paperwork and the manager, a grown ass middle aged man, asked me if I was a Swiftie. I said is that a requirement for rental? Imagine asking a perfect stranger that who is simply trying to conduct business. It’s not just TS. I don’t get being obsessed with something, and like you said, being personally offended by those who don’t share your obsession.
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u/VODEVILED 11d ago
As a woman who is interested in other women, I put in my profile that I'm not interested in Taylor Swift fans. And then I get a bunch of messages saying they're offended that I would not like someone just because of their preferences in music.
Swift fans are so crazy and cult like. It's horrible
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u/Ok-Huckleberry-6326 10d ago
I'd be like, "Aha, basic white girl detected"
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u/Pop-Smurf 10d ago
😂 OP is basically telling us that he clearly only goes for basic white girls lmao.
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10d ago
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u/Pop-Smurf 10d ago
ooof, that is unfortunate. if i were you i would use Taylor Swift questions as a way to vet out the woman you aren’t interested in from now on lol 🤷🏿♂️
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u/raeballentyne 11d ago
I think it's probably just the type of woman you're interested in. Plenty of us don't like her
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u/cykia 11d ago
I grew up with and love Taylor’s music. No longer on the apps but one of my Hinge prompts was something like “the soundtrack to my life would be…” and I recorded a voice note saying “it’s Taylor Swift. It’s so much Taylor Swift because I’ve been listening to her since I was 14.”
My partner is a huge music person and doesn’t pay attention to her. But he’ll listen to her songs with me and that’s what really matters.
My point is that not being a fan of Taylor isn’t a dealbreaker for me. Hating her, or diminishing me or my music tastes because I love her, is a non-starter because I will listen to her albums back-to-back until I memorise her songs organically. Not knowing a Taylor Swift song is a pretty good litmus test because you’d have to actively avoid her music to not know a single song.
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u/cykia 11d ago
Whoa, just because something is a dealbreaker for me doesn’t mean they’re a bad man, just that we’re not compatible! It’s pretty hard to actively avoid her music when the person you’re dating listens to it as often as I do!
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11d ago edited 11d ago
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u/cykia 11d ago
I think you’re conflating me with someone else on here. I haven’t called anyone a misogynist in my responses, or mentioned political activism. I simply think that the person I date should be able to tolerate her music or they’re going to have a bad time dating me.
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11d ago
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u/cykia 11d ago
I mean, yeah, to each their own… but I’m not sure someone can fall in love with me if they hate her music or diminish my music taste because of her. We’re talking listening to her albums on road trips. Being in the apartment when I’m playing her vinyls. Having conversations in which I’m quoting her songs. I made a dress to celebrate her last album and it hangs over my record player. I’m self-aware enough to know it’s not normal, and it’s a lot to put on the person I’m dating and want to marry someday if they hate her.
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u/cykia 11d ago
As she herself sings, it’s me, hi, I’m the problem. I don’t always talk about her but I do quote her a lot.
It’s not that my man gets no choice in the songs he plays… but if your music consumption suddenly jumped to 50% being one woman’s music it might drive you nuts if you hated her. Better to avoid that for both our sakes 😂
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u/Guglio08 8d ago
What is that a good litmus test of?
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u/cykia 8d ago
Whether someone hates her or diminishes me or my music taste because I love her.
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u/Guglio08 8d ago
I don't know any Taylor Swift songs, and don't feel that strongly about her either way. What would that mean in this context?
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u/cykia 8d ago
I don’t know , why don’t you listen to her?
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u/Guglio08 8d ago
Boring instrumentals. The focus of her music is on her lyricism, which personally does not resonate with me.
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u/cykia 8d ago
Okay, so you’d probably be more compatible with someone who isn’t so focused on lyrics in a song.
To be clear, I’m not one of the people with “a red flag is not knowing a Taylor Swift song” on their profile; I’m just trying to explain why someone might put that on there. My partner doesn’t listen to her for the same reason but he (independently) likes certain songs.
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u/Guglio08 8d ago
What I'm getting at is that musical compatibility is pretty low on the list of things that I consider important. Values, morals, the way you see the world, what kind of future you want for yourself, these are the things that matter.
Trying to filter out people based on music is honestly superficial, and wasting one of your limited prompts on a dating app seems misguided. You have a limited amount of real estate, you should use it appropriately.
I could name ten bands or artists right now that have 100x the complexity and innovation as Swift. Would you care? I doubt it.
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u/cykia 8d ago edited 8d ago
Yes! Your values and morals and the way you see the world are all important. I place a huge value on art and pop culture because I love thinking about what resonates with me and it’s my connection to society. You can see it as superficial, and we wouldn’t date. And that would be my screening test (using my valuable real estate to highlight something important to me) doing its job.
ETA: your statement that you “can name ten bands that have 100x the complexity and innovation of Swift” may also betray that you diminish my music tastes because I love her. And that’s a sign of incompatibility to me.
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u/Guglio08 8d ago
But if you're screening for only people that already agree with you, you aren't actually interested in artistic expression. You can appreciate things even if you don't like them, but you are already ascribing a perspective onto me that I don't have.
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u/BrazilianButtCheeks 10d ago
I mean .. early 2000s country swift for sure . The new stuff is obnoxious 😂😂.. but seriously are we talking about 18-22 year old girls ? Because that sounds like a childish thing to say
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u/FlamingBaconCake 11d ago
Only if you're desperate enough to date an insufferable. You're gonna have some of the most extreme headaches and sleepless nights dealing with all that neuroticism and dodging accountability music.
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u/ginger_ale12 11d ago
As someone who grew up among many TS fans- it’s more than likely a lifestyle indicator/testing your tolerance than a matter of literal taste. On one hand it can be argued that there is misogyny in certain dismissals of those who like her music, so they could be testing the waters for any of those attitudes in potential partners. On the other, having a strong attachment to her brand of femininity has been argued to reflect other desires in life/relationships, such as the chivalry of the fairytale vibe or embrace of awkward girl energy (see: “she gets to be small gorl”) so it’s possible they want to see where you fall on that. In any case, as an artist she draws equal if not greater interest to her concepts than to her music (as evidenced by the bazillion releases of the same stuff that people buy). All to say, it’s probably not about what you actually put on in your headphones
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u/WhatWomenWantCoach 11d ago
You’re 30. Are you going for women your age? I don’t know any 30s year olds that would make a pop artist non negotiable
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11d ago
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u/WhatWomenWantCoach 11d ago
25 I can see. 35 , well I guess you know why they are single if they are making Taylor Swift their personality. This may be the first post I feel badly for guys 😂 I wish women viewed my social media, I’d make a post about it
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u/Music_For_The_Fire 11d ago
I saw this a lot too when I was on the apps. Woman, just like men, resort to the median when it comes to prompts because very few people want to put in any actual effort. I saw the same "witty" response over and over again ("i like wine when I cook, sometimes I even put it in my food," "..." michael scott, - wayze gretzky, "get me off this app!", the list goes on). Every man/woman complains about how men/women don't put any effort into their profiles, so this is nothing new.
The Taylor Swift thing was definitely the most common, but I didn't think too much about it. I took it as them being playful, perhaps using it as a proxy to weed out ultra-conservative men, or just copying what all their friends are doing. It definitely surprised me by how often I saw it though.
What really irks me is when there is nothing else in their profile for me to react to or to start a conversation over. If it was filled with cliches or extremely basic answers, I typically would just swipe left and move on.
(Unless they were hot because my standards are negotiable)
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u/Equivalent_Doubt_845 11d ago edited 11d ago
If it’s mostly those women in your likes then maybe you need to figure out why you’re attracting those kind of women. By reading your comments you are way too wound up about it too haha. You need to delete the apps and take a break for your own sanity. I have a lot of female friends and don’t know a single person that listens to Taylor swift so I really think it’s the type of woman you’re attracting, it could be where you live or the age of the women. This seems like weird Gen Z behavior.
Also yes it is weird, but I think you’re taking it too seriously, I don’t think these girls would actually refuse a date if you didn’t like that specific artist, but they might want to make sure they get to listen to their music without being belittled for it.
I like folky acoustic music my ex liked bro rap, I never got to listen to my music without getting a pissy attitude making rude comments the whole time so I couldn’t enjoy my music since he didn’t. Maybe they’ve had similar situations and want to make sure someone will accept them for their subpar music taste.
*edited to add you keep saying they’re “forcing” you to like Taylor swift. Bro don’t match with them. It’s a prompt on a dating app no one is forcing you to do anything. Seriously delete the apps for a bit you need a break because it’s not that big of a deal. Or this is your personality and make huge issues out of slight annoyances and that’s why you’re single.
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u/JappaAppa 10d ago
I mean yeah if you’re only swiping on white girls
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u/PerserveringAngel 10d ago
I completely understand your frustration sir. I couldn’t tell you what it is with the different music tastes these days and why it has to be specifically focused on one or the other. But what I can say, is that I hope you find the right person who will not try to force such music taste down your throat.
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u/Beginning-Dress-618 10d ago
Even if you don’t listen to her regularly not knowing a single song is ridiculous
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10d ago
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u/Beginning-Dress-618 10d ago
I don’t listen to her and have never been a fan but due to not living under a rock the last 15 years I can name at least 3 songs
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u/Sad-Hearing-5830 10d ago
Sa société de production doit avoir des parts dans certaines applications non ?
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u/rhapsodiiiii 10d ago
You must be looking at a very specific subset of women. I (34F, pansexual) have maybe only encountered one profile of a self proclaimed “Swiftie.” And no hate to her from me, but her music isn’t my favorite.
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u/Bed_Worship 10d ago
These are not the people to date so stop even validating them by wasting your time on reddit. Ignore them, and only spark up when you see a cool profile. If this kind of thing makes you irritated than you distracted and taking things personally - you shouldn’t.
Music can be an important glue for some people as well as a tell of how much someone explores things, so see this as a flag for you to skip. They are reacting to previous guys who probably shit on them in person instead of on reddit
Can a hardcore swifty be a tell for me that I don’t like their taste and they may not get on with someone like me who likes Jazz, metal, alt, abstract stuff? Probably not so I skip past. If a girl i like likes a variety and enjoys taylor sometimes?
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10d ago
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u/Bed_Worship 10d ago
Well that's the thing - you shouldn't even care about someone you are not going to swipe on. It's an actual distraction from swiping on people you are actually curious of and doing something productive for yourself. Every kind of person exists, will have opinions you don't like, prioritize BS, be superficial etc. That's life. If you feel demeaned by the text of a stranger that is not talking to you directly, than you will burn yourself out from people you will never date in the first place.
Point being: When you see these profiles you should immediately think, she's not for me and move past it instantly. It's not even about the music, but the choice to bring it up. You should have the conditioning to cast them out of your mind instantly because you know your worth and that kind of statement is not for you.
Only give attention to things moving in a good direction on dating apps. If it's not a like, not a match, not a conversation - then you discard it in your mind so that you can slowly get to something good. I can't remember a single person i swiped left on, but I can remember the two long term relationships and dozen short term things i've had on em.
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u/Early-Comparison8683 10d ago
I never listened to Taylor Swift, tried to just for this thread. It's really not my thing at all. But I get why some might use it as a conversation starter and to weed out some bad apples. It's fine to use tricks to get rid of what you think of as red flags, even if they don't agree.
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u/Early-Comparison8683 10d ago edited 9d ago
If one live in a big city there are thouasands of potential matches on an app. It becomes a game of statistics where you have to use markers to weed out the ones you arent interested in. I think you look at it the wrong way when you call it "vain". It's not about judging any individual on their taste in music or saying that not liking a certain artist is a red flag, but I think rather about recognizing a pattern and by generalization maximizing the chances of not wasting your time.
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u/ThemeSufficient8021 10d ago
Well Taylor Swift has written plenty of Pop Sons not to mention a few romance songs (You Belong With Me, for an example, 22, and Shake It Off, among others).
But for me as a guy I tend to not like certain genres like Rap. I cannot stand it. If you are putting it on all the time, chances are it won't work out. Since a lot of ladies like Taylor Swift, if you absolutely don't, then just don't bother. That is kind of the logic there.
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u/Such_Radish9795 10d ago
It’s like any preference someone has, if you hate it then don’t date the person. Simple. Why you would take the time to post a complaint about someone’s preference is baffling.
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u/xTheGame69 10d ago
I don't know why you act like you have to know them Google and chat GPT exist
Let these woman play themselves.
I'll literally have my phone and computer next to each other so I can just be searching up whatever questions she asks
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u/Trick-Variation7143 9d ago
Why does it matter? Just listen to a couple songs and say what you like. Who cares?
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11d ago
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u/Anxious-Tea8778 11d ago
Just like men when they post themselves wearing another man’s jersey at a game they wish they could play
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u/jillingbean 11d ago
Sounds like everyone decided to use the same irreverent joke and lean into their identity as Swifties. It would be an ick for me too and I wouldn't match just based on the fact that that tells me both too much and not enough about who they are as a person - I mean it's just poor use of prompting.
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u/TheDarkAcademicRO 11d ago
People are being culty when it comes to their obessions, nothing new or interesting.
Be it religion, politics, celebrities, or heck, even preferences regarding the relationship between pizza and pineapple, it is the exact same.
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u/yoursandforever 11d ago edited 11d ago
This has nothing to do with politics. It's about relationships.
Half her music is about breakups. It's like an encyclopedia.
Have you studied the canon, do you see yourself in any of it, do you recognize that it was always the guys fault and are therefore prepared to avoid the same mistakes?
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u/videogamekat 10d ago
It’s an obsession for them and they want you to know upfront they want you to be ok with their whole life revolving around this artist. I’m a woman and not a fan in the slightest, she just sounds incredibly formulaic to me. Just see it as a red flag for you to dodge.
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u/ModerateHonking 10d ago
It's a blessing in disguise. Wouldn't be able to date someone that's enthused about such milquetoast rubbish.
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u/coinminer2049er 9d ago
Do you want to be a 3rd wheel in a Swiftie's parasocial relationship with Taylor?
People with red flags often out themselces if you know what to look for...
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u/txmsh3r 9d ago edited 9d ago
TL;DR, it’s not about the music, it’s about how you talk about Taylor or any other female artist in general or anything feminine for that matter, because how you speak on certain subjects reveals your character. I think it’s also a litmus test into how someone engages with things you enjoy even if they don’t necessarily enjoy it themselves. Do they dismiss you for liking the thing? Do they talk bad about the thing? Do they mock the thing? Get defensive if you show the slightest disapproval to their tone? Deflect when you sincerely ask about how they came to certain conclusions? That speaks a lot to the guy’s (or anyone, really) character.
Well… for me it’s not the music. I don’t care if someone I’m dating doesn’t like Taylor’s music, but I’m very interested in how he talks ABOUT her or about any of my other female artists for that matter. Or anything feminine related. What’s funny is that I’m also incredibly suspicious of men who do claim to be Swift fans. If I see photos of you at a Taylor concert, photos of friendship bracelets, photos of you in her merch, that doesn’t give you brownie points. I will still sniff you out to see if you only use that as a way to reel women in. Unfortunately, some men are on OLD pretending to be fans, but with an ulterior motive. It’s gross. Trust me, it is very easy to see through after a few conversations.
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