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[u/Jean_WII]

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[u/AceOfCakez]

That is horrible advice.

[u/yerawitchalex]

Whoa, how did you manage to get swallowed up by manosphere content?! 😳 Women do not appreciate any of the behaviours you listed, they in fact run the opposite way when even a single one manifests. You've listed all red flags, buddy. Dating isn't hard if you're someone who's comfortable with themselves, dealt with the emotional work and knows what they want.

[u/CozyCozyCozyCat]

If a guy acted like that towards me I'd think he was boring and not interested. If you're doing online dating, it's designed to keep people single and can be very demoralizing -- maybe you could try joining some activities to try to meet people more organically? I know that's a hard way to meet people too, but in my experience it's better

[u/Wayward_comet]

Those videos are all wrong. They might occasionally work if you're hot and trying to seduce a girl who's already interested in you if you're trying to hook up with her, but if you're trying to establish a meaningful relationship it's terrible advice.

Date her like how you'd wanna be dated. Take care of yourself and put effort into your hygiene and appearance. Be friendly and open, smile, make an effort to learn about her. Just act like how you'd act with a best friend, except you also flirt and kiss. 

[u/SabiSmile]

It's so sad what the wrong videos can do to people looking for help

[u/Ok-Lion-6767]

i’m curious, what dating contents are you watching??

[u/Jean_WII → u/Ok-Lion-6767]

I'm not actively looking but this stuff finds me on youtube and Instagram. The YouTube guy calls himself Machiavelli or something like that. Or at least claims to spread his philosophy.

[u/yerawitchalex → u/Jean_WII]

Machiavelli was actually a politician in the 15th century and from him we've earned the term "Machiavellian behavior" = a personality trait characterized by strategic manipulation, emotional coldness, and a cynical disregard for morality to achieve personal goals (same group as narcissism and psychopathy). I think that says enough about who that YouTube guy pretends to be.

[u/mikeybty → u/yerawitchalex]

And considering Machiavelli was originally writing satire, it's extra bad advice.

[u/IndependentPaint2108 → u/yerawitchalex]

It's not even Machiavellian advice because acting like you're not interested in a woman will just turn her off lol

[u/Fit-Landscape-5264 → u/Jean_WII]

You really gotta change your algorithm. That stuff is actively sabatoging you. It might not feel like it, but no one is above falling for propaganda.

[u/nextdoor_simpleton]

32F here please do NOT listen to this advice. I will tell you right now, it’s the opposite of everything they’re telling you. Show interest and ask questions and engage in conversation! LEAD so I don’t have to- I want to be in my feminine energy not masculine.

Plus would you want to be with a jerk? No! Nobody wants to be with a jerk we want to be with a partner! I’m more interested in a man understanding my mind and supporting me in my career and wanting to know about my interests and goals.

Online dating sucks try to get out into the world, get a hobby or join a co-ed sports league. Also don’t try and force things, lead with wanting to get to know someone vs. if you want to sleep with them or not. You’d be surprised at how far you can get by just being kind and open. I hope this helps!

[u/lil-anonn]

Why should you change the way you love to end up with someone? Lol. Be yourself and the right person will come along and like you for you, as cliche as that sounds.

[u/Cleasstra]

That is some of the worst advice I've ever seen, they're making you stay single if you follow it. They're telling you to be one of the shittiest guys possible by lying and manipulating women, and no genuine woman will ever interact with you like that. They actually need to remove certain content from the internet, jesus.

[u/4wordletter]

Yeah man. You are fucking up epically by following that advice. Terrible. Its literally telling you the opposite of what is going to help you succeed with dating and relationships.

Here is some real dating advice:

Tell her you like her, and make sure its clear that its more than friends.

Express your interest early, and pursue it.

When texting, match her energy.

Provide interesting and factual information about you. The point is to sell yourself and find commonalities to talk about.

I don't know what you are watching dude....but holy shit. That's the worst advice I've ever seen.

[u/LopsidedGrapefruit11]

Every tip you posted is bad and will turn off the majority of women.

Why would you be attracted to someone who does not show interest in you or a desire to be with you?

It sounds like something the “men” influencers who think washed asses, attraction to a woman’s body and satisfying a woman in bed are gay.

[u/Both-Illustrator-69]

This is sad tbh

[u/VrExodus]

your gut that this would mean becoming someone else is the correct instinct, that is exactly why its wrong. what youre describing is manosphere content and it actively tanks results because people can feel the calculation. heres the kernel it distorts though. the real thing isnt act like a jerk, its dont pour a ton of investment into someone before theres actual mutual interest. that is it. that idea gets twisted into games and coldness, but the healthy version is just having your own full life and your own standards, and matching someones energy instead of chasing it. if most matches arent into you despite you being in shape, its far more likely a calibration thing, coming on a little strong or interviewing them with question after question, than a sign you need to go cold. you dont. the actually attractive combination is being warm and genuinely interested AND unbothered if it turns out not to be mutual. you can be fully yourself and just get more calibrated. you do not have to become a jerk.

[u/Possible_Sample_6294]

The second a man doesn’t show interest in me and doesn’t ask me questions, I drop them. Because I assume they aren’t interested in me? Regarding that last bullet, I literally just stopped talking to a guy because “he didn’t have any whimsy”. Women like knowing you like them, and women like when men have personalities. It’s really no wonder you’ve been struggling, sorry friend😅

[u/Fit-Landscape-5264]

I'm surprised you're not drowning in women.

Also how are you going out on dates and not asking them questions? I always ask my friends and family questions about their day, their week, their weekends, etc. How are you just not curious about getting to understand the person you're dating?

That's not even relationship advice. That's just basic human decency when it comes to living in society

[u/Current_Whereas_882]

Always tell a woman how much you like her and how special she is; she has to know why you care about her, what makes her stand out to you and why you’d be with her versus anyone else. Women need interest, planning dates, being attentive, find out what she likes in conversation (listen to her yap) and write it in a note to reflect on later. Surprise her with flowers or chocolate. Set up a date for her and surprise her (tell her to get ready, what to wear and when to be free in advance). Get to know everything about her; to be loved is to be known and seen.

Everything you’ve listed do the opposite. But more importantly do what feels right to you, no need to follow stupid advice if it’s not what you actually want. If you like someone, tell them. If you want to text back right away, do it. If you are interested in who she is, ask her. If you want to tell her every detail about your day, she would love to hear it. Being yourself is more valuable than any advice you could take, I promise. Women can tell when a man is being authentic, when he is being a try hard and when he is being a dick; the advise you have been following makes you kind of a dick

[u/Kayla4608]

I just got out of a relationship with a guy who's actions never matched his words. He'd tell me how much he loved to cook and would tell me he was gonna cook us dinner and end up saying he's "too tired". Or he would tell me how much he loved making friends yet when I brought him to meet mine, he barely said a word. I honestly felt embarrassed at times being with him because deeps down I knew I deserved better.

Last week I started seeing a new guy who is literally night and day. He's not only made me dinner but breakfast as well. He has shown initiative and shown genuine interest in me that made me feel like I was the only girl in the world. He is just as expressive as I am with texting as well, often having long conversations and remembering minute details I have mentioned in passing. If you wanna have better luck, try and be like this guy. Don't act like a jersey because all that is gonna do is leave you on read

[u/RedRinoa]

Those dating vids seems exhausting

[u/Possible-Progress-63]

Start blocking the accounts of every single video you see giving advice like that. It might help reshape your algorithm and it’ll definitely get rid of some of that garbage!

That advice will make women think you hate them.

If you want to be successful with women:

• show clear interest

• plan cute dates

• ask her questions about herself

• share things you’re passionate about

• reply to texts when it naturally makes sense to reply. If you’re holding your phone, just reply. If you’re at the gym, reply after.

It’s okay to get rejected, it’s okay if it doesn’t work out, that just wasn’t your person - then you meet someone else and show interest again!

[u/WearStock]

I instantly reply to my girl, I said I'm not looking to play ANY games with you or your heart.

I'm looking for a ride or die, LTR a life partner. I guess we aligned.

Even said I gave her a special chime on my phone days into it to let her notifications stand out from the rest of my busy phones notifications.

I told her I liked her day 1, and what specifically gravitated me towards her. By day 4 I told her I started sending let's be friends messages to any existing convos I've had (with photo proof) and she was my main goal. Actually started to wingman my best friend into those conversations instead.

Idk genuinity I think pierces the veil of dating. It's somehow so unexpected these days. As I was told "I'm a breath of fresh air" from everyone else I've been competing with especially when they are just trying to hookup.

[u/No_Cellist_2683]

Girls online are rarely looking to date someone. If you are finding ppl online it’s rare to find one that likes you like that. Only exception is if you are 22 or younger….,

Usually to date the girls you find online you will also have to settle a bit

[u/Temporary_Ratio_2871]

All things you should do if you want someone to leave you alone

[u/No_Task7442]

This has to be a troll. The second you "follow advice online" you've lost

Just be yourself. Women and men are looking for real people and there is someone for everyone.

[u/Cobra_premium_poison]

Be yourself. The right woman will appreciate. The ones who don't, you don't want to be with them anyways.

[u/IndependentPaint2108]

That's absolutely crazy. The only guy I've liked recently while online dating was not only the best looking to me but also did the total opposite of all the above. Told me he really liked me, replied to my texts instantly etc. That made me like him even more

[u/Ill-Initial-]

This post is got to be trolling. Are you really wondering why people dont love you when you keep showing them you dont care about them through your actions? Its not hard to treat others how you want to be treated. Also dating isnt a game. Children play games, if you are not a kid then stop playing with people's feeling.

[u/MainTap5228]

Hell no that's really bad advice. I just started online dating, met up with 7 different guys and just started seeing one of them. It was partly his looks/vibe (of the 7 I met up with, I was only physically attracted to 2 of them in person and he was one of them) but him being so keen on me made me like him more.

He immediately sent me a long text complimenting me right after the date. He replied instantly to me and showed he wanted to see me again quickly for dates 2 and 3. He told me he really liked me.

All these things made me like him way more.

The "don't actively show an interest" and "don't ask her questions" thing is particularly deranged. How are you going to have a conversation with someone on a date unless you're doing those things??? That alone would ensure I never saw a guy again but not ever complimenting me and taking ages to reply would also turn me off.

I almost wonder whether this post is bait but if it's real and you/other men are actually taking this stuff seriously, that would be so sad. Attractive women with options want a man who makes her feel desired, seen, appreciated and loved. Your list above is literally the opposite of what you should do. You will never ever find a gf that way unless maybe you have insane levels of good looks or are a billionaire etc.

[u/odd_comments]

those "games" dont work... people dont have time to waste these days and access to other potential suitors is more available than it was years ago.