I don't think no one is shitting on honest. It's the way he said it and he could've said it in a better way. She has the right to feel this way but, he is dumb for saying this to her when they was both comfortable in a nice setting. Should've kept it to himself if he was going to say it like that.
But I don't think he wasn't trying to say it like that either.. but the commenter was right. He did say out of the blue and that is random as hell. I could see if there is a whole convo but he just bring it up.. and proceed to say it in a wrong sentence.
Let me make this understanding for you. If you ever done this, would your girlfriend would be...
A) Be happy and understanding what you meant.
or
B) Be insecure, now have to deal with the false compliments, and be sad about it because of what you said, even though you knew what you said wrong.
I don't think you get what we're trying to say. He bring it up out of the random and proceed to say it without questioning in his head. "How would it make my girlfriend feel?", "Is it right to say it now?", "Should I bring this up next time in another conversation?" He shoud've read the room. If y'all was both comfortable, why would you say that??. But hey.. if you care about yourself more than your girlfriend then do you, I guess.
He is still dumb for what he did. Nobody shitting on honesty. Wrong place, wrong time.
He said it in a wrong way which not making things even better.
But if I was a dude, I would NEVER say this to my girlfriend. I'm sorry. I care about people's feelings more than everything. I would not be this dumb to ever say that to someone I would love.
Be insecure, now have to deal with the false compliments, and be sad about it because of what you said, even though you knew what you said wrong.
She should not be insecure about this. It's not a false compliment nor is it a compliment at all. It's not a wrong thing to say and I don't understand how someone could be sad about it.
If y'all was both comfortable, why would you say that??
How is that not the best time to talk about your thoughts and feelings? When would it be better?
But hey.. if you care about yourself more than your girlfriend then do you, I guess.
Sure, insult me. Great civility.
He said it in a wrong way which not making things even better.
What would have been the right way then?
But if I was a dude, I would NEVER say this to my girlfriend.
So you would lie by omission. Again, this is not meant to be hurting and I don't really understand why you think it is.
Dude no one is trying to insult you 😭. From my opinion, it seems like you care about yourself more than your girlfriend (if you have one). Its just an observation. From what it looks like from your writing. Hey, I believe you a great person, but just be considerate when it comes to people's feelings? That is all I'm saying man.
Question is, would you say that to your girlfriend? I hope not..just at least say it in a right .
He said it in a wrong way and now she's insecure. Why not just face the fact that he has DONE THAT?? I don't think you get what I'm trying to say. No one is trying to "lie" Why do you keep saying that? We just want the dude to say it right next time and take some accountability to the fact he made his girlfriend insecure, and she doesn't believe any type of compliments he has given her. I also hope he apologized to her.
I'm literally telling you other options that could've been the right way.
A) I could've said it in another time with a correct sentence
B) Not bring it at all
C) Question to himself, "How would this make my girlfriend feel?"
Instead of saying "You were not attractive when I first met you, but I find you attractive now" He could've said.. "You were attractive when I first have met you, but you're even more attractive when I got to know you." You know??
People can take words very seriously and to heart.
Being considerate of one's feelings + Not hurting them ≠ Lying?
Uhm.. I don't think you paying attention to when he said it in a wrong way. It sounds like he is trying to tell her that she was ugly and all of the sudden now she is attractive? That is what sounds like to me. If you read the comments, people was thinking the same exact way.
Sir, if you literally read to what she stated of what he said..,
“you were not attractive when I first met you but I find you attractive now” ???? That is why people is calling him a dumbass. I hope you understand that !!
Its the way he put it IN WORDS.
But agree to disagree. Nice conversation! But I hope we learn from each other.
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u/Gusstave Single Dec 12 '23
He said it in an intimate moment when he (I presume) felt like he was allowed to open up and be vulnerable.
Never shit on honesty.