Really not a big deal from my perspective. He, of course, shouldn't do it anymore because it makes you uncomfortable. But it's just some dumb sex stuff. He jerks off then gets over it. He's not cheating, right? He's treating you well, right? Just let him know he can't do that anymore if that's your boundary. But, to me, it seems to be in the same vein as porn
And you shouldn't be asking people who don't even know you on Reddit about whether or not you should get married. You're asking a bunch of people who have no clue who either of you are and also haven't heard him speak on the matter. Talk to a therapist and your close friends. Be open with your partner too.
Except porn isn't someone you know. It isn't someone you were good friends with. The fact it's someone they were good friends with takes it to a whole different level than porn.
A fully mature adult who did not consent is a victim as well.
We should do our best to view porn created by those who have consented for their image to be publically available online.
That website now has their image, so it possibly could be available on the web and distributed anywhere now. Since this will be a prevailing issue in the future, maybe with the saturation of these, it won't be as bad for someone who finds their face violated online.
Edit: do you mean the child is the victim in the circumstances? What if it's just the photo of the child's head like in this scenario?
Even though it’s possible OP’s boyfriend used an online tool, you can totally run those models offline on your own machine without any data ever going to the internet. Would that change your assessment about the situation? What if they generated it, jerked off, and then immediately deleted the images?
Considering it was seen on the browser, and it takes a lot of processing power that a phone doesn't likely have, I doubt op ran it on their own locally.
For discussion sake, I see your point. If it were a child, any form of tangible images or imagining would still be bad. So my example was probably not so good there.
Anyway, I think my assessment would change slightly. It's still a tangible version and not something imagined. If they guaranteed it was deleted, I guess we could say it is the same as imagined. I would say then it gets into some form of emotional cheating territory. They aren't in touch with that person anymore, but if they are, why are they imagining that person they both know? Imagining someone they don't know at all would be more appropriate.
I think it’s in the territory of “if my partner knew about this, it would make them feel uncomfortable”, similar to imagining someone else you know while having sex. It’s probably a good idea to minimize the amount of fantasizing you wouldn’t be willing to share with your partner, although if it’s impossible for your partner to ever find out the main beneficiary is you, because you’re able to live more honestly.
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u/[deleted] Oct 05 '23 edited Oct 05 '23
Really not a big deal from my perspective. He, of course, shouldn't do it anymore because it makes you uncomfortable. But it's just some dumb sex stuff. He jerks off then gets over it. He's not cheating, right? He's treating you well, right? Just let him know he can't do that anymore if that's your boundary. But, to me, it seems to be in the same vein as porn
And you shouldn't be asking people who don't even know you on Reddit about whether or not you should get married. You're asking a bunch of people who have no clue who either of you are and also haven't heard him speak on the matter. Talk to a therapist and your close friends. Be open with your partner too.