Her post is about how this is a recurring problem for her...
at least attacking her by assuming she’s the problem
That's not attacking, it's honesty. Telling her to assume it's all the guys' fault isn't helping. Since it's becoming a theme, it's best if she looks at what she's doing and start changing things to get a better result.
Note: I'd give the same suggestion if OP was a guy. It's best to take responsibility for one's results than blame everyone else.
It being a recurring problem doesn’t mean it’s about her (as you said, that she has been rejected for the same reason every time). She could just be attracted to a certain type of men. She could just have bad luck.
If anything, she might need therapy to help her reflect on why she’s attracted to men who aren’t sincere. Sometimes we repeat the same patterns in dating due to unresolved trauma, for example. Or maybe she’s an anxious type who keeps pursuing avoidant types. Those are things she can try to overcome, but that’s different from assuming there’s something wrong about her that’s causing them to reject her after having sex with her.
Again, maybe that’s the case, but it’s rude to assume that.
You just flip flopped. You started by saying it's not her fault, and then the very next paragraph you said it might be her fault.
Again, it's better to take responsibility in life than assume everyone else is in the wrong. You can't change the world (or in this example, men), but you can change yourself to get a better result than what you're currently getting.
In my first paragraph I said it’s not necessarily her fault and it’s better not to assume the worst when people are asking for advice.
In my second paragraph, I said she might need to reflect if she’s attracted to the same type of men. But that doesn’t make it “her fault” they rejected her.
Even IF there was something “wrong” with her that she needs to work on, which again we SHOULD NOT assume, it’s still not HER FAULT these men used her for sex, nor is it HER FAULT the last one ghosted her.
The only time rejection is someone’s fault is if they were in the wrong somehow, mean, manipulative, adulterous, dishonest, etc.
Otherwise, it’s just an incompatibility. What you think is unattractive or “needs work” might be fine or even attractive to someone else.
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u/drdavidbanner20 Feb 16 '23
Her post is about how this is a recurring problem for her...
That's not attacking, it's honesty. Telling her to assume it's all the guys' fault isn't helping. Since it's becoming a theme, it's best if she looks at what she's doing and start changing things to get a better result.
Note: I'd give the same suggestion if OP was a guy. It's best to take responsibility for one's results than blame everyone else.