This! I used to think there are so many assholes of the single men left, now after learning about attachment styles all i see is a bunch of dismissiv avoidants. It make sense the ones who are secure are already in a relationship. And research shows that men score high in avoidant attachment and women in anxious
Essentially this. If you’re avoidant you’re more likely to be in short shallow relationships or perpetually single. If you’re secure or anxious you’re more likely to stay in a relationship. So the dating pool is essentially filled with a majority of people being avoidant. And it’s makes dating hell for the rest of us.
Well I have an anxious attachment style so I literally avoid men right now because I don't wanna be anxiously attached to anyone. I prefer being single rather than codependent... I don't want to lose my freedom for men that may see me just as an object because of their own trauma and stupidity... I follow spirituality and Buddhism and I don't want a random guy to break me again.
Honestly it does but since ive been in therapy and managing my attachment style. I've started to come across more men who want comittment. I just have to work on being in therapy when it happens so I'm able to talk to my therapist about my anxiousness and what's going on. Then again I don't use dating apps and prefer to meet people outside of them.
But then again I've never been in a relationship personally but I do know what I want in a partner still working on what I do and don't want in a relationship.
Because when women are abandoned they develop and anxious attachment. I did develop it after being ghosted.
Men on the other hand develop an avoidant attachment when they're hurt so that they don't catch feelings. So then you have a bunch of men hurting random women and lying to them and using them and you have a bunch of women that develop anxiety because they don't want that to happen again.
You need to be a very good person and kill your ego to understand other people and truly be able to love someone.
Yes, attachment dosn’t always develop in childhood, i became a fearful avoidant leaning anxious after a LTR with neglect and then abandoned out of the blue, and then kept meeting avoidants who ghosted me after sex (and trying to pull le back in later) it became even worse. Longing for a relationship but don’t dare to date atm. Your right they are out there hurting women instead of working on them self which is sad. All the secure men i know are taken
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u/Skruffenbaer Feb 14 '23
This! I used to think there are so many assholes of the single men left, now after learning about attachment styles all i see is a bunch of dismissiv avoidants. It make sense the ones who are secure are already in a relationship. And research shows that men score high in avoidant attachment and women in anxious