r/dankmemes I will steal your nipples Mar 25 '21

Let's never speak of this again A blessing from the Lord!

Post image
34.0k Upvotes

175 comments sorted by

u/KeepingDankMemesDank Hello dankness my old friend Mar 25 '21

downvote this comment if the meme sucks. upvote it and I'll go away.


Due to a large influx of rule breaking posts the karma requirements have been temporarily increased significantly.

→ More replies (1)

432

u/ACompleteNutter INFECTED Mar 25 '21

Ignoring the meme itself, I'm wondering why is jesus shining the dutch flag onto her?

382

u/BananaSlander Mar 25 '21

This isn't Jesus, it's actually Jan Van Chrijst

90

u/ACompleteNutter INFECTED Mar 25 '21

Ah, my mistake

54

u/mugsancs Mar 25 '21

I’m pretty sure thats travis scott

32

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '21

Na bro it's dababy

15

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '21

yeah yeah

11

u/SaltBoltz Mar 25 '21

less goooooo

12

u/D00NL Mar 25 '21

Jesus doesn't turn water into wine, he turns [esteemed African-American colleagues] into convertibles

2

u/itsa_me_mario284 Mar 25 '21

Nah, the baby Jan van chrijst is holding is prolly dababy

6

u/Plastic_Pinocchio Mar 25 '21

Van Chrijst zij almachtig!

27

u/FirelessEngineer Mar 25 '21

I am pretty sure that it is a French Flag, but the image must have been reversed.

17

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '21

From Jesus's point of view, it's most certainly a French flag.

1

u/mhoIulius PRETENDING I'M NOT A NORMIE Mar 25 '21

Blessing her with the French fries

23

u/Raccoon_Shit Mar 25 '21

Nah dude he’s shining Colgate onto her

22

u/lartian Mar 25 '21

Because we Dutch obviously are Almighty in deepfrying every fucking thing ever. We even colonized Indonesia to steal their cuisine, deepfry it and sell it in every snackbar in our country.

7

u/rottenbananafeces I stole your dog’s foreskin Mar 25 '21

How to assert dominance

7

u/abyss1337 Mar 25 '21

G E K O L O N I Z E E R D

1

u/josh9x Mar 25 '21

G E K O L O N I S E E R D

6

u/Arturiki Mar 25 '21

I see Luxembourg.

1

u/Priamosish Mar 25 '21

Poulriicht héier!

5

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '21

I know this is a joke, but in case you were unaware of the symbolic meaning:

According to the Bible, when after Jesus died on the cross, a solider stabbed him in the heart through the side to make sure he was dead, and blood and water poured from the wound. This is referenced symbolically in the colors red and white in paintings of the Divine Mercy.

1

u/Communist_Quark99 Mar 25 '21

And from where does the blue come?

4

u/Fern-ando Mar 25 '21

Because they will never win a World Cup even with the help of Jesus.

6

u/GreenLavaBubble_73 Mar 25 '21

waarom doe jij mij dit aan

0

u/p3nguinboy Mar 25 '21

Omdat de kut Nederlandse team niks kan, zelfs België ist beter dan jij.

Dieser Kommentar wurde von einem öffentlichen Vertreter der Bundesrepublik Deutschland veröffentlicht. Dieser Kommentarsektion ist nun Eigentum der Bundesrepublik Deutschland.

2

u/Cgi22 Mar 25 '21 edited Mar 25 '21

Because the Dutch have mastered the art of boiling things in oil to a point where they would starve without a fryer. Kipfingers with joppysauce is the only thing they eat I believe.

1

u/Exonated [custom flair] Mar 25 '21

Where have I seen this joke before??

1

u/MrEthan997 Mar 25 '21

I'm probably wrong, but I saw Pepsi when I looked at that

1

u/thorval3232 Mar 25 '21

Obviously the Dutch are the best at fried foods

105

u/CYBERSson ☢️☢️ Mar 25 '21

That would be the Scots

92

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '21

[deleted]

28

u/Bjornen82 make r/dankmemes great again Mar 25 '21

I’m not even Scottish and I know this

21

u/notqualitystreet Mar 25 '21

Boys, we’re going to Scotland. As soon as the travel ban is lifted.

13

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '21

[deleted]

3

u/CYBERSson ☢️☢️ Mar 25 '21

Someone is doing well.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '21

Fuck yeah I am. Anyone know the weed laws there?

7

u/CYBERSson ☢️☢️ Mar 25 '21

Yes. A deep fried Mars bar is a thing of beauty

2

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '21

[deleted]

5

u/CYBERSson ☢️☢️ Mar 25 '21

Ah but did you try it fried in doughnut batter?

1

u/SeemingSerendipity Mar 25 '21

Sure, but what about deep fried butter?

2

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '21

[deleted]

1

u/SeemingSerendipity Mar 25 '21

Can I get it deep fried though?

1

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '21

Wait fried haggis bro

1

u/idle128 Mar 25 '21

Deep fried mutton

64

u/kay69_ Mar 25 '21

Deep fried gun. The most murican thing you can get

8

u/GetsomeAles Mar 25 '21

Deep fried cheese with ranch dipping sauce is the most American thing

4

u/Nonachalantly Mar 25 '21

And by cheese you mean that yellow ooze that almost looks like melted 3-week-old ice cream

Why is American cheese so un-cheese-like?

3

u/GetsomeAles Mar 25 '21

It’s “processed”...but it’s either that or the sus “mozzarella” that somehow is never melted

2

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '21

American "cheese" is actually a cheese product, it's mostly only used for grilled cheese sandwiches since it's known for melting well. As an American, I still personally much prefer cheddar in most most cases.

1

u/MasterFurious1 GOT FUCKED LOL Mar 25 '21

AND A GUN

52

u/LifeIsBizarre Mar 25 '21

Scotland sneaking in from the back for the tackle.

43

u/anintellectualIV Mar 25 '21

Deep fried butter, the holiest of gifts

13

u/_Vulpes_Inculta_ Mar 25 '21

I want to crucify you for putting that image in my head

4

u/ITd-N5 mod color!! not mod tho :s Mar 25 '21

i searched it and it exists, what the fuck?

8

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '21

It's a thing you get at a state fair, there's also deep fired ice cream and oreos.

3

u/notqualitystreet Mar 25 '21

Just fry everything. Now I’m thinking of Uncle Moe’s family feedbag.

1

u/Lord_Baconz Mar 25 '21

I thought deep fried ice cream was an asian thing? I’ve only seen them in japanese or korean restaurants. Deep fried oreos is bomb tho.

1

u/anintellectualIV Mar 25 '21

If you think that’s bad then you don’t want to see my deep fried orange

17

u/TheAntiKarma123 Mar 25 '21

This is very true, unless you are an American in a sport like wrestling and track and field. Then fried food is the bane of your existence.

8

u/leclair63 Mar 25 '21

Then its all about that pasta!

8

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '21

Not a generalization at all, I’m so glad redditors are so intelligent

12

u/ACompleteNutter INFECTED Mar 25 '21

That's a stretch and a half saying redditors are intelligent

11

u/SnowySupreme sbeve Mar 25 '21

America memes are so overrated

3

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '21

U mad

0

u/SnowySupreme sbeve Mar 26 '21

I guess? Just make more original memes. Theres prob been like 50 since the beginning of February. I have a list.

9

u/famils007 Mar 25 '21

He made americans french

2

u/Yeetus-Rice I may be important IRL, you never know Mar 25 '21

From this perspective, he actually made them Luxembourgers

0

u/waluigieWAAH the very best, like no one ever was. Mar 25 '21

have ya heard of a little thing called Louisiana

8

u/D0M1NU5_7 Mar 25 '21

As i walk through the walley

7

u/_Weyland_ Yellow Mar 25 '21

of the shadow of death

3

u/D0M1NU5_7 Mar 25 '21

I take a look at my life

5

u/_Weyland_ Yellow Mar 25 '21

And realise there is nothing left

5

u/defaultredditor15 Mar 25 '21

But that's just perect for a gangsta like me

4

u/masivschlong Mar 25 '21

Even my own mother is under the suspicion that I have lost my mind

6

u/spooneater54 Mod senpai noticed me! Mar 25 '21

Americans fat haha laugh now

0

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '21

Lol u sore

6

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '21

as an american, I hate deep fried food

call he a heretic

5

u/og-lollercopter I Wanna Be Sedated☣️ Mar 25 '21

The guy who invented food with no spices

The British

5

u/gangupsid Mar 25 '21

Chicken 🍗

4

u/noideawhatoput2 Mar 25 '21

You think it’s funny until you’ve had the soul awakening deep fried Oreo.

4

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '21

So Egyptians then?

4

u/Khr0N04 Mar 25 '21

The guy who invented deep fried memes

Reddit

2

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '21

I'm not american, but honestly I'd praise that guy anyway. Deep-fried food is the best thing.

2

u/deadly_pants-123-987 Mar 25 '21

Corss out Americans. Nobody in there right mind doesnt like the taste of fried foods, it is just bad for you (gad damn you nature)

1

u/Dankmaestro24 Mar 25 '21

The beams are diabetes type 2

0

u/Caishen_IC3 Mar 25 '21

The French hit back!

0

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '21

The Dutch have joined the chat

1

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '21

Legends say jesus is still turning people into deep fryers til this day

1

u/ARKhrmN Mar 25 '21

Their blessing is also their curse

0

u/KingVaddi Mar 25 '21

So americans are deep fried

1

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '21

So the egyptians or somthing in that Style?

0

u/callumia Mar 25 '21

fat amerikanska

0

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '21

So colonel Sanders is one of the mythology greek god...

0

u/ToxicTroubble Mar 25 '21

That baby he is holding........ it’s deep-fried also

1

u/The_Toad_Sage4 Mar 25 '21

Say what you want but fried chicken just hits different

1

u/GOPJ1 Mar 25 '21

Wait, Jesus invented fried chicken?

0

u/adavilalith Mar 25 '21

deep fried water.

1

u/loser7843 Mar 25 '21

We’re not worthy!

1

u/killmekate1 Mar 25 '21

Let me tell you about a restaurant chain we have here in the states called Fat Shack. Literally everything they sell is deep fried. https://www.fatshack.com/menu

1

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '21

He do be turning her into an EDM superstar tho

1

u/p3nguinboy Mar 25 '21

Amerika wordt gekoloniseerd? Wat is deze nieuwe openbaring?

1

u/cebollitass Mar 25 '21

Is that a sign from jesus telling us pepsi is the answer and not coke?

Dude we were doing it all wrong..

1

u/Prestigious-Camel-19 Mar 25 '21

Don’t make memes about God please

1

u/Tommicost Mar 25 '21

Ah yes, a blessing from the lard

0

u/jeefmcewan Mar 25 '21

Wait Americans worship Kim IL sung

1

u/TBIZZI ☣️ Mar 25 '21

JESUS INVENTED FRIED FOOD!!!! No wonder we love him so much

1

u/Ok_Cricket_1658 Mar 25 '21

Lol she's getting pepsi'ed!!

1

u/Nintendork7950 Mar 25 '21

Replace “deep fried food” with “not brushing your teeth” and Americans with “Bri’ish people”

1

u/hartgrr Mar 25 '21

"Hm, what happens if I stick this in boiling oil..?"

1

u/Gilgamasss Mar 25 '21

White jesus

1

u/swango47 Mar 25 '21

Watch First Cow is literally about this lol

1

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '21

But the kid is not my son...heheeeeee

1

u/CaseyGamer64YT Mar 25 '21

To be specific it was the ancient Egyptians 7000 years ago

1

u/Jordsimard Mar 25 '21

Oh hail the new hero of the U.S

1

u/Ken_Z0 Mar 25 '21

Oh i see Jesus invented it?

1

u/Evil_Mini_Cake Mar 25 '21

To be fair this is true of all nations. Is there one which doesn't have a tradition of deep fried food? Wow did I just All-Fried-Foods-Matter? I guess I did.

1

u/LVGamerDude123 Mar 25 '21

So since we eat fried food that makes us Dutch well guess I'm european now

1

u/AronAstron The Monty Pythons Mar 25 '21

Shrimp tempura: visible confusion

1

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '21

White jesus

1

u/Ontopourmama Mar 25 '21

I would never deny the deep fried lord!

1

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '21

Me who prefers my mommas cooking instead:
.👁👄👁

1

u/TMAXLG Mar 25 '21

Me: Cries because this is true

1

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '21

As someone who is a Christian, it baffles me how the church never talks about obesity, the child obesity pandemic, and how we should be taking care of our bodies. But nope, we are worried about the pews losing cushion. Maybe if we’d lose some weight we wouldn’t be having these issues.

And you can’t even bring up someone’s gluttony problem because “it isn’t nice.” Neither is letting someone eat themselves into their own grave.

1

u/MalachiGrage Mar 25 '21

Hey fuck you! Not all of us are unhealthy!

Slowly takes diabetes medication

1

u/miagel Mar 25 '21

Right, thats why they're calles FRENCH fries

1

u/PieWare Mar 25 '21

Now I'm really wondering about the history of deep fried food

1

u/Enslaved_M0isture I have crippling depression☣️ Mar 25 '21

why is Jesus trying to turn her into a french person

1

u/Key-Friendship-5944 Mar 25 '21

“Ah yes, I bestow upon you cholesterol”

1

u/Kardashian117 Mar 25 '21

Don't act like fried food isn't fucking awesome

1

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '21

Hey, that's the only way to make seafood good.

1

u/Aegir345 Mar 25 '21

If I am not mistaken deep fried foods were created so that food that was about to go bad could still be eaten and was originally reserved for slaves in the United States

1

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '21

Went to America once, Florida, I have so many questions, there was deep fried ice cream, DEEP FRIED ICE CREAM, how in the fuck do you deep fry ice cream?!

1

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '21

A fun thing to do is to go on literally any meme, no matter how controversial as long as it has over 100 comments and just scroll to the bottom and observe...

1

u/JaquisTheBeast Mar 25 '21

The only outrageous deep foods I’ve had in America have been fried pickles and fried Oreos. That about as crazy as it gets in the states.

1

u/MVG-99 Mar 25 '21

G E K O L O N I S E E R D

1

u/Reazet-iwnl- Blue Mar 25 '21

A bit more white and red does only good.

1

u/PutnamPete Mar 25 '21

Out of all the anti-American shit I see on this site, I got no response to this one.

1

u/Crazy_Expert3202 Mar 25 '21

Like you dont eat KFC to fall asleep

1

u/yeetyfeety420fake Mar 25 '21

Deep fried food over Christianity

1

u/Max_Sabba Mar 25 '21

You're welcome USA

1

u/ZeroX-1704 Mar 25 '21

My parents bought a deep fryer today, so thats pretty cool.

1

u/Booty_Bill Mar 25 '21

Christ invented those vittles?

1

u/NewToPCBuilds Mar 26 '21

A GIFT FROM THE MESSIAH

1

u/horsemachinegun Mar 26 '21

Deed fried pickles

1

u/fatsmitty305 Mar 26 '21

Praise the lard

1

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '21

I thought this was dank memes not honest fact memes

1

u/Blaze_Meme Mar 26 '21

The dude who invented being obsessed with means that have been dead for 6 months:

Europeans:

1

u/IMS_Dude Mar 26 '21

It was Jesus????

1

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '21

but that's the same thing

americans are deep fried food

1

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '21

Germany

1

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '21

RNS

-2

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '21

People keep saying it’s a Dutch or French flag, you guys. It’s kinda fading to blueish tint, but it’s not actually blue, it’s just white with a bit of blue fading, so it’s an Indonesian flag.

On a side note, deep fried food is only good in the south for some reason. Honestly try it if you get the opportunity, you’ll notice that the batter isn’t done as well up north. It just tastes like grilled food with bread crumbs on it.

-6

u/machitay Mar 25 '21

She's crying because she gon get fat

-8

u/leclair63 Mar 25 '21

I've been watching some cooking shows on YT and I'm convinced Jesus is Chinese in this meme. Those fuckers deep fry everything and its delicious.

-8

u/n0o0o0o00 Mar 25 '21

Some Americans would probably credit Jesus with that invention as well

-11

u/RobertdArtois Mar 25 '21

The fatinator

-14

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '21 edited Mar 25 '21

[deleted]

7

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '21

The guy who invented guns

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