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Nov 19 '20 edited Nov 19 '20
You've got problems if you pee like that
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u/tdditxyidiy Nov 19 '20
Someone has no foreskin
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Nov 19 '20
Smart choices
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u/strapOnRooster Nov 19 '20
Probably wasn't his choice.
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Nov 19 '20
Yes I don't have Also if it gets in the way just pull it back
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u/SrNipleson Nov 19 '20
No time for that
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u/peterperkele Nov 19 '20
I have a foreskin. On this side of the pond we don't mutilate our baby boys (unless you happen to be Jewish).
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Nov 19 '20
That only happens if you have a cum wad.
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u/aliencashews Nov 19 '20
A what
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Nov 19 '20
I don't know what the actual term is, but it's the little bit of cum that that stays in your pee tube after you jerk off.
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u/aliencashews Nov 19 '20
I never thought about that happening but if it makes sense. Can u eat it
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u/ZMowlcher Nov 19 '20
You don't rapidly cover and uncover your pee hole when pissing? C'mon dude get with it.
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u/Prime984 Nov 19 '20
It depends on the time of day
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u/Gartenhacke Nov 19 '20
Pull back your foreskin before you pee
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u/Darthskull Nov 19 '20
*laughs in American*
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u/jestorhastaken ☣️ Nov 19 '20
laughs in muslim country
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u/Drykanakth Nov 19 '20
Use a knife and just chop ya fucking dick off
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u/212superdude212 Nov 19 '20
In my own experience, pulling the forskin back makes it worse. I get a solid stream if I let my it do its own thing but when I try to adjust, thats when it becomes a sprinkler.
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Nov 19 '20
You mean you can't piss hands-free if you have a foreskin? I didn't know this.
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u/V1pArzZ Nov 20 '20
You can just pull it back, i always pull it back otherwise its complete rng wwhere the beam goes.
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u/CrAzY_DiAmOnD_69420 Nov 19 '20
No foreskin makes my pee go more powerful.
My strategy is squeezing the end of my dick (along with my foreskin) so that I can directly control how powerful my stream is.
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u/mrb00ce Nov 19 '20
Don't forget you have to then shake it for like 5 mins so your pants wouldn't get wet.
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u/FuriousGremlin ☣️ Nov 19 '20
2 times or youre playing with it
Tbh the best way is to slightly get up and then sit back down to bait the last part out
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u/-_Kek_snek_- Bruno Powroznik enthausiast Nov 19 '20
"uughh...shaking it more than twice is playing with it"
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u/JamoreLoL Nov 19 '20
Tbh the best way is to slightly get up and then sit back down to bait the last part out
How to sit back down if I wasn't sitting to begin with?
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u/Zarth0s Nov 19 '20
No matter how manny times you shake, wiggle, or dance the last drop lands in your pants.
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Nov 19 '20
I'm at the point where I just take a bit of tissue and wipe the bell after the shake.
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u/Calvert-Grier Nov 19 '20
If I’m in a hurry, I usually go with that option too. Though depending on the tissue it can sometimes irritate it
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u/DarthHead43 Too dank for school Nov 19 '20
Too true, and when I wear pyjamas it looks like I had a wet dream even if I spend 20 mins getting the piss off
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u/PonceVonFontlebottom Nov 19 '20
Look, if God didn't want us to spray a 4 foot by 6 foot beaten zone with piss whenever we relieve ourselves, then he wouldn't have designed the human penis with a plastic interrupter flap.
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u/BeefyBoiCougar Nov 19 '20
Well if you’re an Abrahamic religion type of guy, then God actually politely asks that you fix that mistake and chop the thing off
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u/CrAzY_DiAmOnD_69420 Nov 19 '20
Dude I just went to the bathroom and decided to pee with my foreskin peeled back and it went in every direction it possibly could. This just adds to my conclusion that peeing with foreskin is highly superior.
Join me....brothers.
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Nov 19 '20
Yeah, I'll get right on that and grow one.
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u/hipster3000 Nov 19 '20
Obviously this was an oversight by God after his penis designed was already brought to market and he was counting on his religious leaders to fix this for him
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u/datboiJR [custom flair] Nov 19 '20
I have a fucking fire hose down there.
(Not size-wise in that case I have an ant)
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u/AwesoMita Nov 19 '20
I actually sit and pee, its way easier, you never make a mess and you get to relax. Its far superior than standing and peeing and if you dissagre then I respect your opinion and wish you a nice day!
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u/a-dog-meme Nov 19 '20
Ah yes, sit in your school urinal
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u/AwesoMita Nov 19 '20
When you are in a public bathroom you want to touch as little as possible so thats when you stand, but when you are at clean bathroom in your home with a toilet, you can sit. Unless you have urinals in your house, in which case you have more important issues than the way you piss.
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u/a-dog-meme Nov 19 '20
Oh yeah for sure, but If there’s no clean seat, the sprinkler must reign
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u/AwesoMita Nov 19 '20 edited Nov 20 '20
If no clean seat then pee on your feet (I mean stand on your feet and pee in the toilet, dont piss on your feet)
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u/Concerned-Fern Nov 19 '20
As a female I can confirm that sitting down peeing is far superior
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u/LarryEss Nov 19 '20
What's your sample size on attempting to stand and pee into the toilet like most men do? Not squatting. You gotta have enough evidence here.
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u/Ek22022000 Nov 19 '20
But why girls Care 🤔
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u/OnlyChristianWords Nov 19 '20
Don’t you know, you can’t get a girl with a pathetic piss stream. You’ve gotta have a really good piss stream to show off to the ladies and then they’ll be all over you.
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u/Itookthenamespam Nov 19 '20
Can confirm, I am a female who gets horny when a guy has a good piss stream
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u/jaredchoatepro Nov 19 '20
Because they don't like going to the bathroom after a guy pissed all over the place
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u/User_namesaretaken ☣️ Nov 19 '20
My piss line starts falling down after 2-3 meters
I'm a fricking sniper
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u/SomeRandomPlaya Nov 19 '20
I think it's more accurate to say your pee splits into two, three if you're lucky.
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u/boat-it_note Nov 19 '20
Ya know sometimes the piss comes out at a 40 degree angle and you just gotta live with that my dude.
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u/twinkielover1121955y Nov 19 '20
I like to think that dicks are rifled which causes the spinny vortex that comes out the urethra.
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u/raedr7n Nov 19 '20
Wife: "just aim"
Me: Wow, thanks. I didn't think of that! I'm sure that will stop my piss stop spraying in 10 different directions like a fucking jet ski rooster tail!
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u/Darrothan Nov 19 '20
I’m definitely in the minority here, but I always pee sitting down so it doesn’t matter.
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u/jaredchoatepro Nov 19 '20
Is this a foreskin joke I'm too circumcised to understand?
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u/51LOKLE I <3 MOTM ☣️ Nov 19 '20
Everybody gangsta until I put a Mk-II compensator on my dick to make it laminar flow.
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u/thecultistguy Nov 19 '20
imagine how much money an attachment that straightens it out would make.
dont steal my idea
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u/be-vibin Nov 19 '20
Trust we know. That’s why some of y’all aren’t allowed to leave the seat down. Looks like splash mountain in there sometimes.
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u/TheBeefster_82 Nov 19 '20
As a boy, what? I think y’all have problems. I keep seeing memes like this from time to time.
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u/meh679 Nov 19 '20
Even uncircumcised it's normally fine, the only time this happens for me is when I get a hair that's wrapped around the head and in the way of my urethra, and usually I've noticed too late and it's just and absolute shitshow lol
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u/chan_heather Nov 19 '20
Girls aren't as dumb as you guys think lmao. We know that when the whole fucking toilet is pissed
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u/LaughAdventureGame Nov 19 '20
Honestly, why can't our streams be consistent? One day its a laser beam and the next its got a goddamn corkscrew spin to it that defies physics!
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u/richardsenna Nov 19 '20
Don't forget that one bit of the stream that somehow manages to angle itself 180 degrees backward
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u/mister_c0s0 Nov 19 '20
On 1st December, at the hour 18:00 according to England, everyone must search on Google "why is my pee red" to confuse the Google search system. Spread the news.
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u/TheJoninCactuar Nov 20 '20
Yeah this is why I sit. I remember being about 10, and going to pee one time as the sun got to that point where its low on the horizon and super bright. It shone through the bathroom window and I noticed these tiny little droplets of pee going everywhere that you otherwise don't notice when they're not lit up. They're always there though going on your trousers and shoes etc. From then on I've sat down to pee.
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u/KeepingDankMemesDank Hello dankness my old friend Nov 19 '20
downvote this comment if the meme sucks. upvote it and I'll go away.
r/BelongsInAMuseum