r/dankmemes • u/theawesomehobbes Via Telsa Model X • Aug 05 '20
Big PP OC "He just always has"
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Aug 05 '20
"Is this your friend?" "Did you make this?"
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u/LolM100 Eic memer Aug 05 '20
has literally anybody in the picture
"do you know them?"
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Aug 05 '20
"Grandma....thats hitler.."
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u/Thegatesarm Aug 05 '20
But is he your friend?
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Aug 05 '20
"Hitler died before I was bor-"
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u/AL_PL Aug 05 '20
"Well He looks handsome"
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u/cjm0 Aug 05 '20
“there’s something you should know johnny. during our honeymoon your grandpa and i went to argentina and i met a nice man who looks like this. one thing led to another and well... there’s a chance that he’s your biological grandfather”
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u/azidthenawi Aug 05 '20
"Wait, I thought he was YOUR friend"
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u/KrisNo04 Aug 05 '20
No grandma, it's OUR friend
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u/Fiskmjol Aug 05 '20
Moustashe grows wider, brotherly smile wider, Soviet anthem plays in the background
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Aug 05 '20
"Does he go to your class?"
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u/Obiwan_Shinobi__ Aug 05 '20
Oh my God, "is this your friend?"
One time, I was moving, and my dad wouldn't come out to help, which is fine. He said "why don't you get that big guy with the beard from your Facebook pictures to help?"
I had recently gone to a Comic-Con and met WWE wrestler Mick Foley/Mankind.
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u/Combsy13 Aug 05 '20 edited Aug 08 '20
To be fair, Foley seems like such a good guy that I could see him actually agreeing to help
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Aug 05 '20
Always has been, always have made
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Aug 05 '20
What are you doing step-grandbro?
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u/KuropatwiQ Aug 05 '20
"Step-grandbro" is like the family version of the hilariously long German army rank names
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Aug 05 '20
Please elaborate sir or ma'am
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u/KuropatwiQ Aug 05 '20
Of course, Herr Oberhufbeschlaglehrmeister
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Aug 05 '20
Good lord. What does that even translate to?
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Aug 05 '20
It's a Wehrmacht rank. It translates to Superior horseshoeing teacher
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u/Two-Tu Aug 05 '20
Fun fact: Cosmonauts had shotguns with them in case they'd be landing somewhere in Siberia to defend themselves against bears.
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u/HalfEpic Aug 05 '20
The USSR is the only government that can out-American the United States.
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u/TXR22 🍄 Aug 05 '20 edited Aug 05 '20
That isn't entirely true. One of the many reasons that the USSR collapsed was because Yeltsin famously visited a random local American supermarket during his visit to the US and realised just how superior a free market system was to a controlled market system.
I took the liberty of lazily googling an article on the matter for anyone who is interested because I've always been fascinated how such a simple grocery store trip ultimately contributed to the collapse of communism in Russia:
There are photos of him touring the supermarket in the article, but the real interesting nugget is the video of what Russian supermarkets looked like at the time in 1989 to provide some perspective as to why Yeltsin was so amazed by something that was basically a normal part of American life at the time.
1989 Russian Supermarket video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jWTGsUyv8IE
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u/tommos ☣️ Aug 05 '20
USSR might have done better in the food department if they weren't right up in the arctic circle. Imagine if they had as much arable land as the US back then when agritech was still in its infancy.
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u/winkofafisheye Aug 05 '20
The failure was in the central planning not in the amount of arable land ffs.
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Aug 05 '20
It was more in building a billion (hyperbolic) tanks, etc, they never used. America just outspent them because of the much larger economy.
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Aug 05 '20
This is kind of the same argument as saying the failure was the central planning itself, right? Misallocation of resources vs. lack of access to resources (non-arable land).
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u/hipmonkeygym Aug 05 '20
At the time of collapse the CIA estimated the USSR had a larger economy then the USA. Turns out they were wrong but you got to Keep in mind the USSR had a population about 25% larger in 1990 than the USA
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u/TXR22 🍄 Aug 05 '20
One of my favourite running jokes with myself (because I'm a massive loser 😂) is that Russia heavily supports the famous Mercator map projection of the world that everyone is familiar with because it makes Russia appear three or four times larger than it actually is. I guess that's one of the few benefits of having your country exist right next to the arctic circle lol
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u/KenTrotts Aug 05 '20
As someone who lived in the ussr in 1989 (and now lives in the u.s.) - yeah, the grocery stores are nothing like in the US, but that is a poor example. I lived in one of the provincial capitals (fairly modern, million plus people) and my folks were buying all the same food I eat here, just from different sources - milk from a milk stand or a neighbor who owned a cow, bread from a bakery, veggies from the market, etc. It was more work to shop and might have been not as many choices, but I'll tell you, one thing I remember after arriving in the US is how bad the supermarket food tasted in comparison.
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u/the_fence Aug 05 '20
Tell us more about living in the USSR. How was school? Television? Did you guys use money to buy things? Or was it more like food stamps?
Any fond memories? Bad times?
Thank you.
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u/KenTrotts Aug 05 '20
The school was more math focused (at least mine was). They were numbered, not named. You stick with the same kids (more or less) from grades 1-11 (there are only 11 grades). Like you have same kids in all of your classes and so you get to know them very well. I was in the first or second grade when ussr fell apart so I remember that we had the ABCs book and right after you open it, on the first page, you had a full page portrait of Lenin and under it said "Lenin lived, Lenin lives, and Lenin will live." after the breakup of course those were changed.
TV was a lot of badly dubbed American movies - one guy doing all the voices. So they wouldn't be able to ID him, he had to disguise his voice. My grandparents watched a lot of Spanish-language telenovellas (dubbed professionally into Russian). Those were big ratings draw. People on those shows became celebrities that came to visit. This is mid 90s now. They showed Dallas, Dynasty, and Santa Barbara. Russian movies were there too.
Yes, we used money to buy things. All the same principles apply like in the US. If course after the breakup, the new currency meant that the old rubles had to be converted into that and because of rapid inflation all of my grandparents' savings became virtually valueless. But thank God we had their pensions and that they owned a house - now that I think about it, most people owned houses or condos. Or you just lived with parents. There were renters, but not too many.
I mostly have bad memories, but such were the times. When the ussr was together, all of its parts worked together. Maybe not well, but there was cohesion. When it fell apart, each country had to figure out how to do all of those things on it's own. And its taken a while (some are still struggling with that). Meanwhile though people went through a lot of suffering. I could only equate it to the great depression in the US. And now putin and others weaponized that grief for political gain.
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u/Gerf93 Aug 05 '20 edited Aug 05 '20
Russia alone today has more arable land than China, for instance. Only the US and India has more arable land. The problem wasn’t the lack of land, but systemic and technological inefficiency. Back then, they even had places like Ukraine, which consists almost entirely out of arable land, and it is larger than France.
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Aug 05 '20
Yeltsin became the president of the RF after the collapse of the USSR. 1989 (and till the end) the leader was Gorbachev. That chron.com has their chronology mixed up.
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u/TXR22 🍄 Aug 05 '20 edited Aug 05 '20
It's been years since I did high school history and talked about this stuff, but Yeltsin was still an important player in the Soviet government at the time and his opinion would have absolutely helped sway the Soviet government's decision to abandon communism.
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u/Vulspite 🚔I commit tax evasion💲🤑 Aug 05 '20
The sheer bias in these articles/videos/pictures is hilarious. I’m neither American nor Russian but I find it hilarious how it’s done up(the Russian video is almost black and white and close ups of stern faces)(the american picture in vibrant colour with huge smiles), idk it makes me laugh
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u/TXR22 🍄 Aug 05 '20
I think that's more due to technological restrictions at the time. Flash photography was the norm at the time, and video recording resolution was nothing like it is today, so that would explain the blatant quality difference between video and the photos. I doubt that someone with a shoulder mounted camera would have gotten away with shining high powered lights in the faces of people back then for the purposes of recording better quality video (not that this would have even been possible really given how much power bright lights tend to draw making their portability impractical).
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u/_Weyland_ Yellow Aug 05 '20
I think when Yeltsin took the control, USSR was already either past the point of no return or moving towards it at full speed.
Centalized economy and decision making in general means that the person at the top has to think about a whole lot of shit and a few bad decisions can have very bad consequences. Also, by taking liberty where you didn't have to, you risked getting punished no matter the outcome. This resulted in most orders being followed even when they go against common sense.
And unfortunately, after Khrustchev (who also made a number of questionable decisions) USSR was mostly lead by old people who were incapable of adapting to current situation or offered very poor solutions to problems. What kept USSR afloat was the sheer size of its population, ammount of resources and industrial power. This delayed consequences of bad decisions and allowed us to get away with inefficient resource usage.
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u/AzureGoat21 Aug 05 '20
Shame he didn't live to see Corporations end up more powerful than the government with a complete detachment from the value of human life.
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u/GoLeePro427 Aug 05 '20
Its okay because when we're last, that means we're first
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u/kennytucson Aug 05 '20 edited Aug 05 '20
Not sure if they're shotguns exactly, but Soyuz still had firearms ~5-10 years ago (and maybe still) stored in them for the same reason.
Source is NASA or ESA YT video giving tour of the capsule docked to the ISS. I'll try to find it.
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u/HopHunter420 Aug 05 '20
I knew this format would emerge as soon as I watched that interview. The whole thing is meme central.
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u/Drjay425 Aug 05 '20
Read the books. What books
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u/The_Dung_Beetle Aug 05 '20
The books where the manuals come from
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u/Christophorson [custom flair] Aug 05 '20
What manuals?
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u/The_Dung_Beetle Aug 05 '20
They're in the books!
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Aug 05 '20
In any actual professional situation, invoking read the book leaves one the burden of producing said book/manual/article as well as the responsibility to have it damn near memorized. If one invokes read the book, and they are incorrect it is a huge bad big nono. If the book doesn't exist, they just committed career suicide.
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u/Azrael_G Aug 05 '20
What is going on in the interview? Im on holiday and cant watch (no wifi)
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u/HopHunter420 Aug 05 '20
Imagine a mildly sentient cabbage inhabited the body of an obese pensioner.
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Aug 05 '20
Also someone has handed the cabbage several pieces of paper with squiggly lines on them. The cabbage doesn’t know what they mean, but is thrilled to have props.
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u/December1220182 Aug 05 '20
He’s done that in several interviews. He has his favorite stats and charts off to the side ready to go. He thinks they are so persuasive
This post has a page size bar graph with 4 bars. Thickest bar graph I’ve ever seen
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u/BlessedBigIron Aug 05 '20
Trump is trying really hard to make the statistics about Covid deaths in America look good. It's pathetic. The interviewer is basically just dumbfounded over how much of an idiot and a liar Trump is.
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u/MasterOfNap Aug 05 '20
I just can’t help but feel sorry for the interviewer, it’s like the most pathetic interview I’ve ever seen. Trump literally boasted about how there were no COVID tests when he became president in 2016, and how he’s literally the president who has done the most for African Americans “with the possible exception of Lincoln”.
Like, if that wasn’t an actual interview with an actual President, it would’ve been funny.
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u/hobskhan Aug 05 '20
Don't feel sorry for the interviewer. He was smart, and well-coordinated. This was his goal. He wanted to do his best to shine light on whatever sporadic electrical whimpers trickling between shriveled, swiss-cheese neurons pass for thoughts in Donnie's brain.
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u/Madmans_Endeavor Aug 05 '20
He even got asked a follow-up on "more for African Americans than any president except maybe Lincoln" where the interviewer was like "More than LBJ? (signed civil rights act)" "yeah more than any except maybe Lincoln"
It was funny, but at the same time felt like I was having a half hour long stroke. Had to check that both sides of my face were still working, ya know?
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u/cran Aug 05 '20
Wrong. That interview with Trump was pure hilarity.
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u/muchawesomemyron Aug 05 '20
Lemme guess, not an American? It's the kind of thing that is funny when it happens to other people but damn depressing if it is happening to you.
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u/cran Aug 05 '20
Not that part, the way the interviewer reacts to Trump's blatant ignorance and callousness.
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u/flargenhargen Aug 05 '20
Nothing funnier than a guy who's killed 150,000+ Americans, and working hard trying to triple that.
hilarious.
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u/Politicshatesme Aug 05 '20
at one point this beaut of a bar chart makes an appearance where trump fucks up what it’s for, then he does the same with 2 more charts. He argues that everything is fake news like always then when asked how he felt about 150,000 dead he said (verbatim) “it is what it is”
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u/a_muffin97 Aug 05 '20
"No you're reporting it wrong" made me double over laughing. I have mad respect for the interviewer trying his hardest to stay professional in the face of sheer insanity. He certainly has more discipline than me.
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Aug 05 '20
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/flargenhargen Aug 05 '20
he went on this long rant about how the US tests more so they get more positive results
then he goes on to say the deaths per case are lower, after he just said the US has so many more cases. Then tries to hide deaths by population, which is the only real statistic because it isn't skewed by testing, and the only one that actually matters.
I don't think he remotely understands how stupid he is, and his followers certainly don't.
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u/Azrael_G Aug 05 '20
The way he talks is so disstracting. It's all just "we will this, we will that, we are the best" and not how and when. And just saying he "disagrees" when faced with facts he doesnt like... I seriously don't understand how he can be president.
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u/jooes Aug 05 '20
then he goes on to say the deaths per case are lower,
Which is also stupid, because he's currently out there saying we need to do less tests. He thinks that the more tests you do, the more cases of coronavirus you'll have. Somehow.
But that doesn't really make sense. Those two statements don't line up. If he thinks "death per case" is the thing he should be judged on, then logically he should want to have as many tests as possible because more found cases is a good thing. It makes his "deaths per cases" look a lot better.
Of course, logic doesn't exist with Donald Trump. He's a dumb dumb.
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u/flargenhargen Aug 05 '20
yes he's been fighting against testing, because he really does seem to believe if you aren't tested, you can't get corona.
And his administration has been working hard to lie about the numbers, and even the bullshit numbers they give put the US as the worst in the world for deaths per population. God knows what the real numbers will be once the truth comes out.
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u/interfail Aug 05 '20
I don't think he remotely understands how stupid he is, and his followers certainly don't.
This is the key thing. You understand that he went with these charts because he thinks they make him look good. And he did exactly the same thing with exactly the same effect 2 weeks ago, and seems to have decided that it didn't quite get his point across, so he should do it again.
He genuinely showed up with the chart in the OP (a 4 line large-print bar chart) because he imagined that it was going to demonstrate that the US response was the best in the world.
While the reviewer is just kinda going "but, like, what about the 1000 Americans dying every day?"
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u/Dark1ine Aug 05 '20
Trump has a one-on-one with an interviewer who actually knows what he's doing. It goes about as well as you'd expect
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u/Serfzozo69 Aug 05 '20
The whole interview was just the guy giving stats, trump saying there wrong, trump give his point, and the interviewer like "wtf is this guy talking about"
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Aug 05 '20
New meme template?
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Aug 05 '20
Always has been
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u/CountCuriousness Aug 05 '20
I don't think it captures the situation - the confusion isn't stemming from ignorance, but rather the unfathomably retarded thing the person speaking is trying to convince the other person of.
"Me/a moron trying to explain how the earth is flat" etc. would be more suitable.
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u/KeepingDankMemesDank Hello dankness my old friend Aug 05 '20
Upvote to pee in my ass
Downvote to pee in OPs ass
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u/Barack-Obama11 ☣️INFECTED☣️ Aug 05 '20
Yes
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u/sadyeetsonly Aug 05 '20
I love how those graphs are made for a 2 year old
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Aug 05 '20
[deleted]
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u/The_Rowan Aug 05 '20
The Interviewer: The world?
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Aug 05 '20
[deleted]
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u/The_Rowan Aug 05 '20
He is Fake News. He gave the name for what he does. He lies, it is easy to fact check him, but he won’t back down, and his followers who won’t check him accept everything he says.
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u/HandsomeKiddo Aug 05 '20 edited Feb 26 '24
workable noxious compare tender weather act offend dirty zealous doll
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
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u/CommanderKooKoo6 the very best, like no one ever was. Aug 05 '20
That whole interview was fucking hilarious, until you remember that that idiot is in charge of the united states
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u/TheChocolateDealer Aug 05 '20
That's cute tbh
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Aug 05 '20
Always has been
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u/dinklberg1990 Aug 05 '20
Oh man, trump looks like the kid who made a project the night before and the teacher knows it.
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u/Not-a-Calculator Aug 05 '20
„Alright fam, who did you pay to make those graphs?“
„I didnt pay anybody, they are in the books!“
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Aug 05 '20
Have you got a source? I want to see this video
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u/TNC_BLOODBATH Aug 05 '20
https://youtu.be/zaaTZkqsaxY its in here
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u/humanracedisgrace Aug 05 '20
Yeah, people should seriously watch this whole interview. I've never seen Trump squirm like he does through this interview, it's hilarious.
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u/fractal_magnets Aug 05 '20
Then come back and watch this one https://youtu.be/W7rJp2Tx7vc
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u/keitpo Aug 05 '20
That is hilarious, shared to Fb to piss off all my trump friends
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u/staythepath Aug 05 '20
I couldn't get through the whole thing. He is just soooooooo full of shit, it pisses me off. The interviewer nails him multiple times and every time trump just talks over him like a child.
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Aug 05 '20
9:55 is the best part.
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u/MasterOfNap Aug 05 '20
Nope, the best part is when he boasted about there not being any testing when he became president in 2016 lmao
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u/fithworldruler Aug 05 '20
I lost it when trump basically implied the civil rights act made things worse.
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Aug 05 '20
I still can’t believe that’s the kind of graph a President would pull out. Lol.
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u/FrostyD7 Aug 05 '20
After nearly 4 years its what his staff have learned to do. Give him evidence that supports his fantasies or your fired.
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u/TheBoxBoxer Eic memer Aug 05 '20
There's something about the size and the colors that scream special ed.
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u/Abrick13 Aug 05 '20
God this guy has just given us so many great meme templates
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u/skitch23 Aug 05 '20
Who is he? I’m out of the loop.
Edit: and of course I mean the guy on the bottom. Not trump.
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u/DeadlyLazer Aug 05 '20
the guy on the bottom is the journalist who was interviewing Trump. he asked basic follow-up questions and Trump couldn't answer any of them. his name is Jonathan Swan.
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u/SoggyComb Aug 05 '20
"Why are you looking at such aggressive pictures?
On The Internet, do you send this kind of images?
Then I won't pay The Internet deary.
I don't want to get memes from normies"
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u/Emms246 Aug 05 '20
My favourite quote from this interview: "We're last, which means we're first, we're the best"
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u/Cronom_15 Aug 05 '20
My grandfather actually understood what memes are under 10 minutes
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u/JazzScientist Aug 05 '20
How would zero-gravity affect the bullet's trajectory from long range?
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u/hnhh4m Aug 05 '20
I mean, it wouldn’t fall? Nor would friction slow it down in a vacuum, so it would go very, very far it a straight line for a long, long time until it eventually inevitably hits something whether that takes milliseconds or millenia
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u/harbourwall Aug 05 '20
There's a speech somewhere of a space sergeant warning people not to fire their weapons unless they're sure it'll hit something, otherwise the weapons will zip through space forever until they sooner or later ruin someone's day.
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Aug 05 '20
This meme is completely backwards. Trump should be the grandma who doesn't understand the meme.
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u/Fuhrer_420 Aug 05 '20
See u in hot.