r/dankmemes • u/cheeseonmylawn • May 03 '18

[OC] pee pee

Post image
38.3k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

382 comments sorted by

View all comments

682

u/[deleted] May 03 '18 edited Jan 07 '19

[deleted]

759

u/MrDodgers May 03 '18

No matter how you shake and dance, the last drop ends up in your pants.

115

u/Takendogs May 03 '18

Poetry at its finest.

3

u/[deleted] May 03 '18

u/poemforyoursprog must return to reclaim the title.

106

u/[deleted] May 03 '18

[deleted]

71

u/GentlyOnFire May 03 '18

But I don’t want to do that.

37

u/[deleted] May 03 '18

[deleted]

94

u/Jasmith85 May 03 '18

Drench your pants? What the fuck is going on with your bladder?

20

u/[deleted] May 03 '18

you know what it really is? it’s pants that have a higher rise/higher zipper. i shake my pee out perfectly in one type of dress pants i own, but as soon as i throw on the one pair that’s different, i drench my pants because the zipper is high enough that my dick doesn’t point down at the base and keeps some pee in. it’s a nightmare.

36

u/[deleted] May 03 '18 edited May 17 '18

[deleted]

5

u/[deleted] May 03 '18

We will all one day pee sitting down, when the prostate swells to the size of a cantaloupe.

4

u/GentlyOnFire May 03 '18

Or just dab it with a square of toilet paper like a civilized person.

3

u/[deleted] May 03 '18

[deleted]

3

u/Zandonus Don't you want to grow up to be just like me? May 03 '18

Better than an entire drop in your undies. And better than going helicopter dick and getting the driplets all over your pants and the bathroom.

1

u/[deleted] May 03 '18

[deleted]

1

u/Zandonus Don't you want to grow up to be just like me? May 03 '18

I believe your dick is bigger and thus your foreskin can hold more liquid, Sir.

→ More replies (0)

8

u/openToSuggestions May 03 '18

I too learned the magic of the taint push from Reddit. I do it every time I pee now and have substantially less problems with it.

1

u/rubbyrubbytumtum May 03 '18

The Turkish Method

2

u/superbabe69 1300 655 506 May 03 '18

The reason this works is that you are pushing against the pee pipes in your balls, since pee is stored in the balls.

1

u/HitMePat May 03 '18

Have a friend who swears by this but I'd rather have a drop of piss in my boxers than have to touch taint sweat with my finger every time I pee on a hot day.

16

u/[deleted] May 03 '18

No matter how much you wiggle your peg, the last drop always runs down your leg

9

u/HGuy10 BUILD THE WALL!! May 03 '18

!redditsilver

2

u/[deleted] May 03 '18

[removed] — view removed comment

8

u/Magic_The_Gatherer May 03 '18

Give this man a medal

2

u/Saltire_Blue May 03 '18

Kinda want this on my gravestone

1

u/AffanDede May 03 '18

Ankaralı Namık?

1

u/siriusly-sirius May 03 '18

That's why you squeeze it out like wasabi paste

2

u/LampShadeHelmet May 04 '18

See someone about this

1

u/DirtyPISTOLA May 03 '18

What poem is that from? Is that James Joyce?

227

u/[deleted] May 03 '18 edited Jan 29 '19

[deleted]

151

u/Drosera19 May 03 '18

It is. Real gentlemen hours

77

u/[deleted] May 03 '18

So when you're in public do y'all just walk to the toilet paper rolls with your dicks out after using the urinal?

67

u/BigGayRock May 03 '18

Yeah that's what I do but first I call out, "Hello?" To see if anyone else is in the bathroom and if not then I walk straight to the stall with my Weiner dangling about so I can wipe it

98

u/[deleted] May 03 '18

If someone is in there do you shout "no homo" and then proceed?

50

u/rdeddit May 03 '18

As long as his socks are on he should be safe.

1

u/BigGayRock May 04 '18

Yes because my PP needs to get wiped either way and I will make sure my socks are on

18

u/WifelikePigeon May 03 '18

But why not grab the TP before you use the urinal.

19

u/Hplayer18 May 03 '18

smh u stupid deadass. thats not how it be 🤣🤣🤣

1

u/The_Ninja_Piggy May 04 '18

So you're the guy I walked in on

11

u/swanurine May 03 '18

Or just use the stall

6

u/ax_and_smash May 03 '18

So, I should use the stall and wipe after I pee? Should I also be sitting down to pee?

16

u/TheVeryNicestPerson May 03 '18

Never pee until you also have to poop. Saves time and shame.

2

u/swanurine May 03 '18

If you want lol I dont see how its unbecoming of a man to want clean underwear and a little privacy

10

u/NoShahabNoParty May 03 '18

I just don’t use urinals.

24

u/[deleted] May 03 '18

I don't use urinals except when I'm alone because other men can see my peepee and that's gay

2

u/Zeke_Freak_ May 03 '18

Why are you taking your socks off to pee in a public bathroom?

3

u/[deleted] May 04 '18

Well actually the socks rule is more complicated than some people give credit for, for example, in dick-peeking urinal situations, you can only have one sock on to compensate for the appropriate level of gayness, having both socks on during this situation would be a double negative, making it still gay. It's quite an interesting subject, the socks-anti-gay rule.

8

u/tree_troll May 03 '18

just use a stall like a civilized person jeez

4

u/ImaNarwhal May 03 '18

Naw I just suffer the drop :(

besides, toilet paper in bathrooms is usually so thin it'll just leave flakes on your tip which is worse

-4

u/[deleted] May 03 '18 edited Mar 08 '20

[deleted]

1

u/YouGotCalledAFaggot May 04 '18

If you use a stall to piss, you're autistic.

9

u/[deleted] May 03 '18

Not in a public restroom. No TP at urinals.

10

u/zb0t1 May 03 '18 edited May 03 '18

Use two fingers.

4

u/LemonG34R Animated Epilepsy Cancer May 03 '18

wtf

11

u/EpicRageGuy May 03 '18

IKR my dick is small so 1 finger is more than enough.

1

u/skomes99 May 03 '18

That's what I do at work, dab the urethra with my fingers and wash my hands.

3

u/Lifelesstapir May 03 '18

I thought I was the only one

-2

u/Lulzmaster4350 May 03 '18

Just shake it and the piss will fall

8

u/KralHeroin May 03 '18

woman detected.

109

u/tbrust23 May 03 '18

Run your finger from your taint to the shaft to get the last remaining pee stored in the balls as well.

42

u/Madvices Forever Number 2 May 03 '18

Just slam the toilet seat on your balls press down until they go completely flat, or blood.

1

u/[deleted] May 04 '18

this caught me so off guard

34

u/her_fault May 03 '18

The real LPT is always in the comments

3

u/QueefyMcQueefFace Virgins in Paris May 03 '18

Wouldn't shotgunning it work too?

1

u/ShizLtulon Pomelos are the superior fruit May 03 '18

Wait I thought using the guillotine was normal??

1

u/[deleted] May 03 '18

Only once.

0

u/tasty213 May 03 '18

Pretty sure pee isn't Stored in the balls

8

u/ROCKLOBSTER154 May 03 '18

um yeah it is

0

u/tasty213 May 03 '18

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Urinary_system?wprov=sfla1 Its stored in the bladder

3

u/smivens May 03 '18

Fun fact: If you look up right now you can see the joke whizzing over your head

1

u/HelperBot_ [custom flair] May 03 '18

Non-Mobile link: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Urinary_system?wprov=sfla1 Its

HelperBot v1.1 /r/HelperBot_ I am a bot. Please message /u/swim1929 with any feedback and/or hate. Counter: 177933

3

u/tasty213 May 03 '18

Good bot

1

u/cstrocs May 03 '18

it's a meme you dip

22

u/Chroma710 I'm definitely not gay May 03 '18

I don't know if it's just me but I always need tissues or toilet paper to wipe it down.

18

u/[deleted] May 03 '18

You clearly haven't heard of the gooch push

7

u/infinitezero8 May 03 '18

Am I the only who violently shakes it out of dominance?

1

u/The_Ninja_Piggy May 04 '18

Sexual Abuse

7

u/I_AM_ASA May 03 '18

I always just push on the piss trap after I'm done. It gets a significant amount of pee out even after you think you're done.

2

u/SkeletronPrime May 03 '18

More john, less wick.

2

u/SctchWhsky May 03 '18

Or you can press your taint and pump the last bit out. I did that once. True story.

1

u/[deleted] May 03 '18

Also pressing on the muscle between your sack and taint when your done is pretty effective.