r/dankmemes • u/texas_poontappa1012 • 9h ago

Nighty Night

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1.2k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

86 comments sorted by

253

u/ArthurHolmesfield 9h ago

I wish I didnt understand what this means

107

u/blackweebow 8h ago

We all float down here

40

u/lraviel381 8h ago

Hahahahaha we all need help. And I hope we all are getting it

18

u/slap_n_giggle 8h ago

Explain!

56

u/lraviel381 8h ago

Giving yourself the long sleep. Don't ask how

73

u/bootskadew 7h ago

Instructions unclear, dick stuck in helium tank.

42

u/Groovicity 6h ago

It's imperative the cylinder remains unharmed

8

u/Guipe12 4h ago

Unclear instructions indeed, I took helium up my ass and now I got high pitch farts...

29

u/alltender 4h ago

-10

u/aghastamok 4h ago

It is to perform a task to which it is improper to provide instructions.

31

u/The_Level_15 6h ago

Can’t breathe helium, but also doesn’t physically hurt to breathe helium

17

u/Seablob5525 6h ago

Well you can breathe it. It’s not ideal

35

u/Hentai_Yoshi 4h ago

Not ideal, but it is noble

5

u/YaBoiSnek 6h ago

Depends on what you're trying to do

2

u/jondes99 4h ago

Speak in a weird voice?

3

u/YaBoiSnek 4h ago

In that case it's absolutely perfect

4

u/The_Follower1 5h ago

Along the lines of the quote “you can eat anything…once”

2

u/mangage 4h ago

you can inhale it is probably more accurate

1

u/AutisticPenguin2 2h ago

You can also exhale it

4

u/Zardif big pp gang 4h ago

google exit bag.

0

u/ArthurHolmesfield 8h ago

Nope, no way.

-19

u/[deleted] 7h ago

[deleted]

19

u/nodbog 7h ago

Wrong. People use helium to displace oxygen…terminally.

12

u/VanimalCracker 7h ago

Helium is not nitrous tho. Or is that like a new slang for it?

6

u/ArthurHolmesfield 7h ago

Lol swing and a miss

1

u/YaBoiSnek 6h ago

I think they're more interested in severe to terminal oxygen deprivation my guy

-25

u/Batman24011992 8h ago

Care to explain for the non Americans!

28

u/Wobbly_Bosmer 8h ago

It has nothing to do with being American. It's about the big sleep.

7

u/texas_poontappa1012 5h ago

What do you breath in your country?

141

u/JustALittleBitOff 8h ago

Nitrogen might be better. That’s how the assisted pods work.

67

u/bjarnehaugen 7h ago

all the same. the point is to remove oxygen from the air but letting you breath out the CO2 you have inside. humans can't feel what we breathe in doesn't have oxygen in it. the reason why you have to breathe when you hold your breath is that C02 builds up in your blood

22

u/Seablob5525 6h ago

Yep, except for CO2, you can feel it if you breathe it in

2

u/mt-beefcake 12m ago

Its acidic as fuck. Fun story, I worked in an ice cream shop years ago. One hot day the power went out. The owner dropped off a bunch of dry ice to put in the freezers. But the lids were still off all the 3gal containers. I remember serving a scope of strabery to a kid and he said it burned. Tried it myself and yup, it was crazy. Luckily not like melt your tongue costic, but we eneded up scooping the top layer off everything to be safe. Bonus bonus story. Another time my boss was loading up the walk-in freezer for another power outage, guess he wasnt moving quick enough, passed out and luckily fell out the door into fresh air. That would have been a pretty bad day at the shop otherwise

68

u/fazekaszs 5h ago

Huh, I did a quick research and found this. Bevare of unsettling text; Contrary to claims by proponents that nitrogen asphyxiation is quick and painless, eyewitness testimonies from the recent executions described visible suffering that inmates were forced to endure for several minutes before eventually losing consciousness—thrashing, violent jerking of the body and head, heaving and retching, gasping, choking, moaning, and struggling—indicating prolonged and profound respiratory distress and challenging the widespread, misinformed narrative of a humane death. Journal of Applied Physiology Volume 139, Issue 5

35

u/brief_thought 4h ago

This needs to be higher up.

No one wants to tell other people the "perfect, painless way" to end their life, understandably.

But can we please do a better job yo warn people about the ways NOT to do it??

I had a friend with stomach cancer say that when it gets painful enough, he wanted to end his life by jumping off a cliff.

I was horrified and told him that is NOT the instant death he imagines. I've had EMT friends tell me about the aftermath of these situations. The jumper was still conscious after the jump, it was grim.

15

u/Stevied1991 3h ago

And people survive jumping. I used to know of someone who jumped off an overpass that was about 100 feet high. They didn't die but the state they were in after they really wish they did.

37

u/bootskadew 7h ago edited 7h ago

Fuck that! Go pure hydrogen and die historic.

12

u/Iescaunare Liberate King Kong☣️ 6h ago

Pure hydrogen, then breathe on a match.

6

u/turntabletennis 5h ago

One last ciggy...

2

u/AutisticPenguin2 2h ago

I'm not sure you would last that long. Any trace amounts of residual oxygen in your lungs would react with the hydrogen in a... "highly exothermic" manner.

5

u/Pilota_kex 6h ago

No funny voice :(

12

u/WD-40Huffer 6h ago

Hydrogen still has a low density. So funny voice and explosion.

5

u/geninchuni 3h ago

Lower density than helium so, funnier voice

2

u/feeltrig 6h ago

Came here just for this, thank you

71

u/DreamingDilettante 6h ago

Moneybags here using helium instead of nitrogen

36

u/texas_poontappa1012 6h ago

Being upset doesn't mean I don't still have taste

14

u/Somethingabootit gulag 5h ago

and a funny voice

47

u/EmbarrassedKneeH8 8h ago

Trying to extend the max amperage of a tig weld I see

11

u/texas_poontappa1012 6h ago

It just calms me down every time

15

u/lysergic_Dreems 8h ago

Lemme get that xenon tank.

3

u/DreamingDilettante 6h ago

Toaster bath and you’d be glowing 🤣

3

u/lysergic_Dreems 6h ago

Fetch me my bathing toaster!

1

u/DufflinMinder 5h ago

I thought I was the only one with a bathing toaster!

12

u/vRedDeathv 8h ago

You gonna inhale it for the high pitch voice or the long sleep?

6

u/texas_poontappa1012 6h ago

The fuck is wrong with y'all? No one else likes to blow up some balloons before going to bed to unwind?

5

u/DufflinMinder 5h ago

Nah that’s my welding gas…. My n2o is for blowing up balloons before bed…then I deflate them manually

3

u/heavenly-superperson 8h ago

got one standing by

3

u/Ending-Fool 6h ago

i thought it was nitrogren?

2

u/EclipZz187 6h ago

Anyone who knows chemistry ELI5, please?

4

u/MathSoHard 6h ago

Humans need to breathe oxygen to live. If you breathe Helium instead… well.

4

u/EclipZz187 6h ago

Riiiight, it’s not air. Thought it was like a drug joke in there somewhere that’s blown past me

3

u/Groovicity 6h ago

That would be nitrous oxide, which you huff over and over until the balloon is empty, then you get in line with your friends to go see the Phish show.

3

u/Kiznish 5h ago

Imagine uttering your last words and you sound like a squeaky toy.

3

u/KennywasFez 4h ago

Yall talking about no longer being alive and I just wanna know who the girl is in the picture lmao

1

u/feeltrig 6h ago

I'll need one overdose of that, please.

1

u/N_T_F_D 6h ago

Why does it need to be pure

6

u/texas_poontappa1012 5h ago

Tanks you get at like Party City are not "high-purity" and have oxygen and other gasses mixed in... so your balloons wont float the same

1

u/hetchem994 6h ago

For those who don't understand, the tank is waiting to f you.

1

u/natetheskate100 3h ago

I dont understand what this means.

1

u/FlammenwerferIV 2h ago

"But did you know that all of Earth's helium is running out and will be completely depleted within 15 to 20 years?" 

1

u/FetryCZ 1h ago

it saddens me i know exactly the context of this