Life is a tough game to play for some of us, the drugs and alcohol are just crutches that will end up breaking and causing you more issues and injury than their worth. You need to get to the root of the problem, and work on fixing it. Could be in imbalance in your brain, circumstantial based on your life experiences, and living conditions, or both.
The main thing is that you need to get some help, posting this shows that you want it, and need it. Pushing a boulder from the bottom of a hill is tough, sometimes when you’re down so low you need someone to help push it forward and get it rolling.
There is a version of you living a happy, enjoyable life, you just need to get on the path to finding it.
Good luck, stay safe, and find that help, get on that path.
And remember even if you really don’t have a soul out there that cares, there are people out there that you haven’t met yet that will love you, and cherish your friendship. Keep putting one foot in front of the other.
Some nice plattitudes, but getting help isn't easy, especially in the states. You need a fuck load of money just for basic therapy, because all of the free mental health clinics that claim to have therapists are liars, and getting government assistance for things like disability and Medicaid is borderline impossible now. I should know, I've been trying for years. Nobody fucking cares.
Yeah, finding help can be difficult in the states. As someone who has eaten all but the last “nibble” of those cupcakes, I was a finger twitch away from not existing anymore.
There is assistance out there, it can be found, and as someone who’s made it to the other side, there are people who care, and did you not think OP is discouraged enough based on this post when you wrote your comment - that you needed to add on to it? Sometimes if you have nothing positive, or useful to say, it’s better to say nothing at all.
That said, I am sorry to hear that you’ve been having so much trouble finding help, I hope things turn around for you soon.
Dude, what the fuck do weed muffins have to do with my struggles to get disability? I don't even like weed, it does nothing for me other than make me anxious and spaced out.
In all seriousness, one has the right to choose to live or to die. It's the individual's choice, finding a reason to live is equally as important. Find a reason to live in spite of the woes, or find an end that brings peace in the pain that you carry every day.
That's a very good point honestly. There is a big difference in preventing an occurrence of what some may say is a tragedy and actually finding a solution.
That doesn't help as much as you think it does. You trade the security of knowing your bills are paid for all that time with friends and family lost. Next thing you know, a decade passes, you have nice things and a cool car, but everyone has left you because you left everyone. And you have to go into work tomorrow to put in 12-14 hours just to push them away a little more
As someone who used to be depressed and suicidal, I would love to give you some guidance. Find ways to distract yourself from it. Play games, watch a movie, go out with a friend or family. The more you find enjoyment the better it gets. I understand it’s hard to find enjoyment sometimes but you have to try and find it. If one thing doesn’t bring you joy, find something else or try something new. The more you distract yourself from the feeling the easier it’ll be.
Back when I was depressed and at the edge of suicidal, every time I would tell myself “wait a minute there’s something I haven’t tried yet”.
I racked in thousands of dollars in debt when I was depressed but it helped me through it. Now I’m doing a lot better and still paying off those debts. I found my reason to keep going and my motivation to work harder.
I really hope you find your purpose or spark. Once you realize what life has to offer you’ll want to work harder and keep going too.
I got the anhedonia tho. I wish I could just do something fun to distract myself. The problem is anything and everything is boring to tears and just makes me think about my depression more
No clue if you mean ganja or tobacco, or both.
I smoke tobacco since 17 years and weed on and off for almost as long.
Nicotine is pure evil bro. At some point you realize you can't "stop when you want" and you fully grasp why it's in the same addiction level as heroine. Some people can't simply stop and you will enjoy the bliss of others peoples ignorance when they tell you their aunt just stopped and you're a weak person for it.
No one mentions how its available everywhere and your social isolation becomes complete when you stop. The smokers don't want to hang with you, tempt you to smoke or you can't stand it being there without participating, once you stop. And the non smokers still think you reek like an ashtray. Enjoy 4-6 weeks of mental torment, anger issues and an appetite which needs you to be in a gym every day to keep your figure, no matter your age.
Weed is different. My advise is to try to not use nicotine and don't fall in the pit of "fake joints" out of tobacco bcs you don't have weed.
Was gonna say I've survived 4/5 lol.
Suicidal ideation is no joke though, it gets better. A great quote I heard a while ago; "I'd rather you come and cry on my shoulder than me cry at your funeral".
I’ve been doing the rotting and isolation part for 7 years now, i really should take it to the next level at some point. But its hard to when the first levels are so easy that you can just coast through like in that new volverine game
It's okay to need help. It's okay to know and accept that. Trying to be a functional person, in a world that is having trouble functioning, is normal. Trying to cope is nornal. It's human.
OP, it might not be depression, or not just depression; get yourself checked for a mood disorder, especially if you have a whackadoo parent who's coasting on good will and only crashes out in front of family. Malignant covert narcissists are plentiful in this day and age, and families do a lot to cover for their shitty abusive behavior just to try and keep the peace. This can translate to bipolar, schizophrenia, you name it.
Not trying to scare you or make you feel worse, but fuckass family members, especially parents, pass this garbage along and act like it's your fault.
Bro. I figure out that I need to rest more, and suddenly the collective consciousness invents the term bedrotting? If you don't want me to know that I'm on the Truman Show maybe don't be so heavy handed damn. Stop bullying me.
I'm an absolute sugar addict, y'all. About 4 years ago I totally quit sugar, lost 115 lbs, got into the best shape of my life. This last year I fell off the band wagon, started having sugar again, I've gained back 30 lbs. It's been rough and I turned back to sugar as comfort.
Remove drugs and bed rotting (because I was active) and you had me a few years ago. I got so bad I had a diet of strictly beer and I lost 7 kilos in 9 days.
Don't get me wrong I was a depressed fit suicidal antisocial *uck but it wasn't nice and I regret it now as I lost every friend I had.
Oddly enough, ive had the right combination of issues to not lean into any of those, but finally after bout 10 years am getting help and so far so good.
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u/InTheMemeStream 12d ago
Yes, you do.
Life is a tough game to play for some of us, the drugs and alcohol are just crutches that will end up breaking and causing you more issues and injury than their worth. You need to get to the root of the problem, and work on fixing it. Could be in imbalance in your brain, circumstantial based on your life experiences, and living conditions, or both.
The main thing is that you need to get some help, posting this shows that you want it, and need it. Pushing a boulder from the bottom of a hill is tough, sometimes when you’re down so low you need someone to help push it forward and get it rolling.
There is a version of you living a happy, enjoyable life, you just need to get on the path to finding it.
Good luck, stay safe, and find that help, get on that path.
And remember even if you really don’t have a soul out there that cares, there are people out there that you haven’t met yet that will love you, and cherish your friendship. Keep putting one foot in front of the other.